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my moods r makin me angry


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so how comin is rage with BPD?

i was pretty good the last say 5-6 yrs with rage, i had a bit when i was a teenager

now yesterday my boyfriend drinks my bottle of water, what was left of it. this really pissed me off because it was mine and i didnt want to share. so i picked up the water bottle and threw it across the room and yelled a bit.

all over some water! i could of just filled up the bottle from the tap that was one room away. but no i had to go lose my temper and have a little tantrum like a teenager.

my doc always says i act like a 13-14yr old cause my emotional growth has stopped.

how am i suppposed to start it again and catch up on these missing years???

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I've been very angry lately, too- I kicked a hole in the wall of my parents' hallway early this December over a comment so slight that I don't even remember what it was now. 

I know I'm a lot more stable when I'm taking good care of myself- which is kind of a stupid answer/Catch-22, because I need to be stable to do most of that crap... but I try really hard to manage the basic stuff- eat, sleep, take meds- and that makes the whole process a lot easier.

woah...I just got really distracted and I think if I don't send this now it'll get sent to bit heaven.... I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you, Iona.

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that reminds me i pushed my mum on christmas day too, which is something i have never done.

im taking all my meds like i m supposed to but they arent helping and i am having wicked binge and purging daily which i guess also wouldnt be helping.

all this after the hospital which was supposed to make me better. LIFE SUCKS SOMETIMES!!!!!!! (trying to be positive here, i wanted to say always but selected sometimes instead.)

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IV,

I noticed that after I had my BPD diagnosis, it was like the blinkers had been taken off my eyes, and I could suddenly see all this bad behaviour I was doing, yet I felt unable to stop it. After all getting a diagnosis may make you notice this stuff but it doesn't always help us prevent it.

I find that doing the five steps here at http://www.bpdrecovery.com can help me, as well as taking care of myself physically (meds, sleep, food) and trying hard not to react to things, and letting my stress build up so I have a meltdown.

If the binging is still bad and things don't seem to be better, contact your pdoc and have a word. Have you been offered therapy yet?

[fixed link.  a.m.]

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Im lucky, I dont have any borderline rage or aggression at all (except when Im going through SSRI discontinuation syndrome) for which I am very thankful because I hate being angry more than anything, I hate the feeling of rage, Id much rather be depressed and self destructive any day  ;)

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I have a very occasional but terrible temper, when I get desperate I can throw things and get very angry, slap people, that sort of thing. I tend not to get angry in situations where I would be justified in doing so because I have poor boundaries, but in small situations like being put on hold or misplacing a letter, I get very irritable and mad.

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