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Dysphoric hypomania or mixed state without euphoria possible?


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I don't currently have the brainpower to type out the assortment of symptoms that translate to my current mood episode of some flavor.  But I am trying to figure out what's going on.  I'm fairly sure I'm not manic, but is it possible to have dysphoric hypomania?  It wouldn't be 100% of the time dysphoric, but it never gets into the euphoria you think of with mania or hypo.  

Or is it possible to be in a mixed episode without cycling to the extreme of a manic state?  

Im so in over my head, so thanks for any insight.

Edited by dancesintherain
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What do you mean by dysphoric in this context exactly?
 

I have plenty of times when I'm hypo but still kinda "I wanna die.. Just.. like, not right now?" and plenty of times with hypo+body dysphoria, which is spectacularly vile to sit through, and then mixed states where I'm like running off into the woods jumping gates to go kill myself when usually I'm in a goddamn wheelchair cuz of weak muscles + fatigue.

Maybe some of that's like what you mean, maybe not? :S

Whisper

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While I know that the DSM-IV (not sure about the DSM-5) says that mixed episodes require both major depressive and manic symptoms, this is something which it seems that the DSM-IV is wrong about, in that one can definitely have superimpositions of both depressive and hypomanic symptoms and not just depressive and manic symptoms. I get superimpositions of both depressive and hypomanic symptoms together alarmingly frequently when I am symptomatic, whereas I do not recall ever having depressive and manic symptoms together.

Edited by Closure
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good question winter tidings and don't currently have brain power (need to go back to sleep and then get to therapy), I'll make sure to answer when I'm back...

Closure, that's helpful to know because that's part of what I'm wondering--whether I can have the hypo + depressive combo, as opposed to having it have to be manic + depressive, which I don't tend to get. 

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I lied.  I went back into my bed in hopes of sleeping or resting and sleep did not come and rest made me more restless.  woohoo bipolar.

so by dysphoric and hypomania as a possibility--I'm getting some of the symptoms of hypo surrounding sleep (waking up frequently, sleeping few hours than normal, etc.), but not all of them (e.g., I do sleep about 8 hours total, when you combine the chunks of time together and I am still exhausted during the day despite getting the sleep, though wide awake).  I have an appetite like none other, but I'm blaming that on seroquel.  The hard part is the mood piece--I absolutely have the increased alertness (even though exhausted) and the increased pressured speech/spitting out of words, but I'm not thrilled about any of it.  I can put on a good show when others are around who I don't want to bother, but if I was being realistic, I'd be hiding other the covers and feeling rather hopeless, helpless, depressed (in less of a clinical sense), etc.  I wouldn't be trying to socialize and I clearly wouldn't be enjoying it when I had to, except with very close friends who know what's really going on.  If I were to rate my mood on a one to ten scale, there are times where I'd say it's more like a 7 or an 8, a relatively short period where it's in the 5-ish land, and a fair bit in 2-3 land.  Although I haven't wanted to kill myself per se, I've wanted to have it all over and done with and really haven't attempted anything because of not wanting to hurt other people (so like a passive ideation thing). 

The hospital saw the manic side (I think I have at least come down from that), but the pdoc there did say that she understood I might have internally be experiencing the depressive or mixed side of things.  There's a lot of internal agitation and restlessness.  There isn't any of the world looks sparkly and special, inflated sense of self, etc.  If anything, it's the opposite--feelings of guilt, remorse, lack of self-esteem, doubt of my ability to do anything, etc., even though some signs might point to me being more capable than I feel.  but even as I'm typing this reply, I'm holding back tears because I'm scared of this whole nightmare--which is really what it feels like.  I'm not on the rollercoaster ride anymore, unless it's one that gets stuck on a loop facing upside down. 

So it seems like I'm somewhere in hte middle ground, and the dysphoric hypomania or mixed language are the only two that really make sense.  I'm completely game for having misunderstood either or both, but I'm trying to wrap my head around what I'm dealing with because I haven't been dealing with it before. 

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Thanks @WinterTidings, I appreciate the support.  I understand not being able to process/analyze things because of my current brain power.

 

[edited - I was on my phone initially, so didn't catch a signature and the significance that Whisper had initially replied.  My apologies for not recognizing the situation better.]

Edited by dancesintherain
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