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My depression is out of control. To the point of sobbing uncontrollably most of the day, every day. I've even had to miss work a few times or leave work because I couldn't keep it together, which I've always managed fine until recently... I can barely manage my two kids (1 and 4) by myself in the mornings, and my daughter is clearly affected by my crying; I can't stand her seeing it. I'm exhausted and fatigued no matter how much sleep I get, I'm starting to feel weak and dizzy more often... I've been depressed for 10 years and I just never knew the pain could be this bad. It almost physically hurts.

 

nothing helps. Or if it does it makes me so tired I can't function at all. My pdoc won't prescribe anything else, she thinks I've tried enough meds. I've been waiting almost 6 weeks to hear back from my insurance on TMS, so no hope there for awhile. I started seeing a new therapist but so far that hasn't helped at all.

 

i just want to stop crying all the time :( if anyone has any ideas please help...

 

not sure if it's in my signature but here's the meds I've tried:

celexa, lexapro, Prozac, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta, Effexor, Viibryd, Abilify, seroquel, lithium, Latuda, Lamictal, Buspar... Feel like I'm missing some but that's most of them.

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Have you tried any of the tricyclics? Desipramine comes to mind. Its pretty fast acting, although not wise maybe if you're BP.

Is there any relative the kiddos can stay with, even just 2-3 days? Anyone? My youngest two (now teenagers) are 2 years apart, and yes, I can relate to the hell of caring for them, when YOU are the one who needs care. Is there a church, either in or out of your faith, that you could contact? I'm not exactly religious, but there might be grandma aged women who could help out.

Sorry, I'm grasping at straws, I hope you can find some sort of help. Please keep posting, very concerned for you.

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I'm sorry the crying is constant.  Does your pdoc know about how much you are struggling?

Also wondered if your sig is correct about you currently taking Lamictal, adderall, and abilify.

I know you've tried prozac in the past. Just wanted to say that prozac helped me out a lot with the crying.

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No I need to change my sig, I pretty much just take adderall now... Nothing else does anything.

 

i haven't tried tricyclics, not sure why doc didn't want to try them, maybe side effects.

 

i don't have a church, I'm not religious. My parents come help once in awhile but I'm still just as miserable, maybe more from the guilt of watching everyone else do my work for me :(

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climber47, I'm just going to reiterate what I've said before, and I know it's not what you want to hear. If your doctor thinks it's TMS or ECT time then it probably is. ECT in particular has been proven to help depression more than anything else.

But, having said that, I don't think any treatment is going to be enough in your situation as you've described it here and in your other thread. You've got to change your situation somehow. Getting TMS or ECT and going right back into that situation is not going to be a solution for you. It might mean that you will have to work fewer hours and lower your standard of living a bit until you get back on your feet. But this is a case of something's gotta give. I hope you can work something out with your husband and relatives to take at least some of the burden off your shoulders.

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I would call the insurance company repeatedly until someone gave me an answer as to why it's taking so long to get approved; six weeks to wait for an answer when you are in this much pain is ridiculous.

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All those above make sense on the various concerns.  I do hope that you find something helpful soon, though it seems like a fairly big life change might be needed also because it just doesn't seem sustainable. I know those are hard to make.

if you do call the insurance company like whome suggested, you might want to try using the phrase "constructive denial."  That means essentially by not approving it for so long, they've denied it and you get the right to challenge their decision.  Hopefully that would be something your pdoc could then take over, rather than you.  I had mine do it once and he managed to talk the insurance pdoc into the medication.  That's of course a lot less expensive, but sometimes it works.  

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1 hour ago, jt07 said:

climber47, I'm just going to reiterate what I've said before, and I know it's not what you want to hear. If your doctor thinks it's TMS or ECT time then it probably is. ECT in particular has been proven to help depression more than anything else.

But, having said that, I don't think any treatment is going to be enough in your situation as you've described it here and in your other thread. You've got to change your situation somehow. Getting TMS or ECT and going right back into that situation is not going to be a solution for you. It might mean that you will have to work fewer hours and lower your standard of living a bit until you get back on your feet. But this is a case of something's gotta give. I hope you can work something out with your husband and relatives to take at least some of the burden off your shoulders.

I agree something has to give, but my husband, parents and I ha don't been able to think of any means of doing that :(

we really can't lower our standard of living enough to make a difference; were already budgeted so tightly were spending more than we make and draining our savings; we've refinanced our house twice to help, and it may be that we'll get stuck paying $10K for TMS :(

i need to work less or work during the day, but I can't afford to work less and can't afford daycare unless I find a job making about double what I make now, and I don't have any qualifications for anything that pays that high. I'm struggling to keep it together through work as it is. Plus, we can't afford to lose my healthcare--$50 a month for your whole family, no copays, no deductible, 90% covered after insurance discounts. Way too good to give up.

my parents are already looking into moving over here to help a bit but they've made it clear they won't be a regular day care.

i just don't know what could possibly change until the kids are both in school five years from now :(

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On July 10, 2016 at 3:13 PM, climber47 said:

my daughter is clearly affected by my crying

I just wanted to say that I grew up with a mom who has terrible anxiety and depression. I remember her being sick and crying a lot as a kid, but I think it made me a better, more empathetic person in the long run. My point is, I wouldn't worry about it too much. If crying is the worst thing she is exposed to, you're doing a pretty good job. Keep your head up!

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