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Asho2345

Anyone On The OCD Spectrum Want To Share

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Same as the threads on the other sections, thought one would be good here

Edited by Asho2345

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My Astronomy professor said he was going to bring in fragments of asteriods for us to hold. My immediate thought was that I'd have to deal with dirty hands all class long.

Even now I'm really really bothered by the fact that I haven't washed my hands since I got in this building.

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35 minutes ago, JerseyGirl134 said:

My Astronomy professor said he was going to bring in fragments of asteriods for us to hold. My immediate thought was that I'd have to deal with dirty hands all class long.

Even now I'm really really bothered by the fact that I haven't washed my hands since I got in this building.

Putting the OCD aside, that's so cool!!!!! 

Taking the OCD into account, that sucks. Can you wear gloves, like examination gloves? When I had to take vitals on participants at work my boss suggested I wear gloves so I wouldn't freak about touching skin. I would use some hand sanitizer after taking off the gloves and that would help me go on till I could wash my hands.

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1 hour ago, JerseyGirl134 said:

My Astronomy professor said he was going to bring in fragments of asteriods for us to hold. My immediate thought was that I'd have to deal with dirty hands all class long.

Even now I'm really really bothered by the fact that I haven't washed my hands since I got in this building.

I can definitely understand this, I was doing some construction work and I had to wear glaves the whole time cause getting my hands dirty (especially dirt and mud etc.) really gets to me

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I don't have to deal with obsessive hand washing.  Mine is the lets make piles of the red M&Ms Green in this one, brown in this and eat all the yellow ones.

Once I worked in a grocery store where one of the "chores" was to line up all the cans so they had the front facing out.   Hoo hoo!  Can I just do this all day?!    Why do I have to go home!?!?  No overtime?  No problem I'll just do it after I punch out. 

Then computer programming.... Ahhhhhh.... everything must be perfect.  It must have detailed comments so any fool can understand how it works.  Which is why I hate Microsoft who seems to not have ANY people like me writing that shit THEY call software.

Now.... Lets talk electronic design.   Lots of pretty traces that must be perfectly connected to the right thing.   Silkscreen in the right spots.  Ahhhh life is good for a mental patient like me.  ;-)

Anxiety and depression suck.   OCD on the other hand has some positive aspects.  *I think.

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13 hours ago, iaawal said:

Putting the OCD aside, that's so cool!!!!! 

Taking the OCD into account, that sucks. Can you wear gloves, like examination gloves? When I had to take vitals on participants at work my boss suggested I wear gloves so I wouldn't freak about touching skin. I would use some hand sanitizer after taking off the gloves and that would help me go on till I could wash my hands.

It is cool indeed. He didn't say anything about gloves, but I'm sure I could bring some in. I used to use hand sanitizer obsessively, then I heard a study that concluded that it might cause infertility and hormone problems (I suppose that's another OCD concern). It also started drying out my skin.

Edited by JerseyGirl134

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6 hours ago, HAL9000 said:

Once I worked in a grocery store where one of the "chores" was to line up all the cans so they had the front facing out.   Hoo hoo!  Can I just do this all day?!    Why do I have to go home!?!?  No overtime?  No problem I'll just do it after I punch out. 

LOL this made me laugh so hard! I just have this image of an employee who looks totally strung out organizing cans at 3AM and refusing to go home. 

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I'm so glad to see this thread.

My OCD right now is manifesting as an eating disorder (or so says my tdoc). I just keep wanting to wipe the slate clean. I'm also having obsessive self-harm thoughts. Fuck you, OCD.

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@iaawal They are disturbing, but fortunately I've been good about med compliance lately and the obsessions are lessening. Trying to avoid IP! OCD+bipolar is a messed up combo.

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On 12/3/2016 at 3:09 AM, HAL9000 said:

I don't have to deal with obsessive hand washing.  Mine is the lets make piles of the red M&Ms Green in this one, brown in this and eat all the yellow ones.

Once I worked in a grocery store where one of the "chores" was to line up all the cans so they had the front facing out.   Hoo hoo!  Can I just do this all day?!    Why do I have to go home!?!?  No overtime?  No problem I'll just do it after I punch out. 

Then computer programming.... Ahhhhhh.... everything must be perfect.  It must have detailed comments so any fool can understand how it works.  Which is why I hate Microsoft who seems to not have ANY people like me writing that shit THEY call software.

Now.... Lets talk electronic design.   Lots of pretty traces that must be perfectly connected to the right thing.   Silkscreen in the right spots.  Ahhhh life is good for a mental patient like me.  ;-)

Anxiety and depression suck.   OCD on the other hand has some positive aspects.  *I think.

haha I love this!

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I'm stressed so the number 6 is getting to me more than usual. I'm tempted to do the compulsions and do anything possible to avoid 6 but I have to remind myself. A mass murder will not happen if I don't avoid 6. Murder has 6 letters. Shit. I can do this. I've been managing this. Go back to your room, OCD!

So many 6 letter words in my post! 

Edited by iaawal

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3 hours ago, iaawal said:

I'm stressed so the number 6 is getting to me more than usual. I'm tempted to do the compulsions and do anything possible to avoid 6 but I have to remind myself. A mass murder will not happen if I don't avoid 6. Murder has 6 letters. Shit. I can do this. I've been managing this. Go back to your room, OCD!

So many 6 letter words in my post! 

Hope it gets easier soon! you're stronger then this!

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4 minutes ago, Asho2345 said:

Hope it gets easier soon! you're stronger then this!

I hope so. Thanks! 

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Let me count the amount of times I had just finished checking that the format for a paper was exactly right, with the correct margins, spacing, font, font size, and formatting, only to think "but what if I missed something, then I'll fail and have to drop out of college". But of course, the number of times I have to check has to be a multiple of three because three is a nice, friendly number. I like triangles, but only equilateral ones because they're all even and equal and symmetrical.

And speaking of numbers! Boy do I sure love counting, love taking statistics on how much work I have left to do instead of doing the actual work. And you gotta because what if someone asks how much you have left to do? And they're mad that you don't have an answer for them, then they never wanna talk to you again and wanna kill you and then everything will go to shit. 

And can we talk about avoiding driving so I don't suddenly impulsively steer myself into the river, or end up in the river by other means? And what if I hit a cat? Then my cats will be mad at me and go all Pet Sematary on me. 

And not to mention how I keep coming back and editing this post because I keep thinking of more. 

On a side note, I've had OCD manifest in an eating disorder before as well. I was such a little calorie counter, I weighed myself every day, obsessively calculated my BMI. And I had to keep going cause what if I gained weight? And then I encountered the purging, getting that contamination out.

Edited by jacques
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I need to make out Christmas cards soon... AKA I'll address envelope after envelope until they're 'just right' or more likey I'll run out of envelopes, which will cause extreme duress. I'm a compulsive editor/re-writer. I hate it. Anxious just thinking about having to write them. And does anyone even notice if my letters don't line up exactly right? Or slant down too much? Doubtful. But it eats me up inside.

 

@Jacques

Your first paragraph really hits home with me.. it's why I avoid writing like the plague. And I love to write (in theory, anyway.) 

11 hours ago, jacques said:

Let me count the amount of times I had just finished checking that the format for a paper was exactly right, with the correct margins, spacing, font, font size, and formatting, only to think "but what if I missed something, then I'll fail and have to drop out of college". But of course, the number of times I have to check has to be a multiple of three because three is a nice, friendly number. I like triangles, but only equilateral ones because they're all even and equal and symmetrical.

 

Edited by her-escape

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This is just a random thought. But, how is anyone actually organized with this disorder? I am diagnosed with OCD. My obsessions are kinda odd. I do have obsessions with things being in order and perfect. But, I seem to never be able to accomplish it, just gets messy again and I get so depress. I am at the point it doesn't matter. I might as well be depress and mean toward myself for not having things organized than the worst emotions I get when everything gets messy again. 

 

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I'm mostly a checker, with some handwashing and counting rituals thrown in.

My OCD is so severe that I can't leave my house without help (someone has to check behind me to see that stove is off, door locked, all lights and tv off, etc, because I don't trust myself to do it).

My main obsession is that if everything is not turned off  (and I do mean everything) my house will burn down while I'm gone.

As a result, I rarely leave my house and can no longer work..This OCD is horrible....it has basically turned me into a recluse.

I'm afraid to drive because I'm scared of my car breaking down or being in an accident, plus I'm afraid to go out at night, and the list goes on.

I am currently taking generic Anafranil (clomipramine), but so far it's not helping after being on it about 6 months....I tell my pdoc that I don't think it's working, but she still keeps prescribing it.

I know I need a tdoc, but my insurance won't cover it, so I'm really stuck about what to do from here.

 

 

Edited by CrazyRedhead

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@CrazyRedhead

 

That is how it was for me when it really became bad. I remember I just started college...i didn't want to be there because I wanted to figure myself out. My OCD was always there, but it got worst.

I couldn't leave the house.. I would triple check everything to make sure it was off and couldn't burn anything down. I never unplugged the TV or my computer because I didn't see them as threats. 

I couldn't eat because I had a huge obsession with contamination. Hair in my food. So I ended up just eating ramen noodle (god that is poison all on it's own).

I would force myself to leave....but I would be anxious and couldn't wait to get home because I had a fear it would burn down. 

What helped me was taking time off and I honestly got a dog. That might not be something for you...it really depends on your OCD overall, but my dog forced me to focus on what was happening now (because I had to care for the pooch) and got me out of my head. Mix that with some therapy (just someone for me to blabb to), having people in my life that I enjoyed being around, and some medicine. I slowly but surely gained control of my OCD.

The best therapist I had was at an IOP....I had to go I believe 4 times a week. Antipsychotics were the best for my OCD. 

over about 2 years of therapy I figure out what 'trigger' my ocd and also how to control it. I am off meds and sometimes my OCD will start to really rear it's head, but I have learned how to counteract that. I am off meds and it's not always easy. This is about 3 or 4 years after I was officially diagnosed. While not everyone can one day be off meds for their OCD, it's not out of the realm. If it gets really bad I will just go back on meds for some time.

Anyway this is just my story and I thought maybe you wanted to hear from someone who went through possibly something similar. 

Wish you the best!

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Is anyone here ever scared to tell people about their OCD especially to people they know is going to be around them a lot and may notice strange nuances in behavior?

I never tell anyone, but I thought about if I did tell people how would I explain it. There is such a clear view of what OCD looks like to the public that doesn't always (and maybe even) rarely appears that way.

Plus It would makes me feel vulnerable... like I just shared my Achilles heel to someone.

Anyway had to write that somewhere... just a thought that cross my mind.

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