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  • 4 months later...

My Astronomy professor said he was going to bring in fragments of asteriods for us to hold. My immediate thought was that I'd have to deal with dirty hands all class long.

Even now I'm really really bothered by the fact that I haven't washed my hands since I got in this building.

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35 minutes ago, JerseyGirl134 said:

My Astronomy professor said he was going to bring in fragments of asteriods for us to hold. My immediate thought was that I'd have to deal with dirty hands all class long.

Even now I'm really really bothered by the fact that I haven't washed my hands since I got in this building.

Putting the OCD aside, that's so cool!!!!! 

Taking the OCD into account, that sucks. Can you wear gloves, like examination gloves? When I had to take vitals on participants at work my boss suggested I wear gloves so I wouldn't freak about touching skin. I would use some hand sanitizer after taking off the gloves and that would help me go on till I could wash my hands.

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1 hour ago, JerseyGirl134 said:

My Astronomy professor said he was going to bring in fragments of asteriods for us to hold. My immediate thought was that I'd have to deal with dirty hands all class long.

Even now I'm really really bothered by the fact that I haven't washed my hands since I got in this building.

I can definitely understand this, I was doing some construction work and I had to wear glaves the whole time cause getting my hands dirty (especially dirt and mud etc.) really gets to me

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I don't have to deal with obsessive hand washing.  Mine is the lets make piles of the red M&Ms Green in this one, brown in this and eat all the yellow ones.

Once I worked in a grocery store where one of the "chores" was to line up all the cans so they had the front facing out.   Hoo hoo!  Can I just do this all day?!    Why do I have to go home!?!?  No overtime?  No problem I'll just do it after I punch out. 

Then computer programming.... Ahhhhhh.... everything must be perfect.  It must have detailed comments so any fool can understand how it works.  Which is why I hate Microsoft who seems to not have ANY people like me writing that shit THEY call software.

Now.... Lets talk electronic design.   Lots of pretty traces that must be perfectly connected to the right thing.   Silkscreen in the right spots.  Ahhhh life is good for a mental patient like me.  ;-)

Anxiety and depression suck.   OCD on the other hand has some positive aspects.  *I think.

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13 hours ago, iaawal said:

Putting the OCD aside, that's so cool!!!!! 

Taking the OCD into account, that sucks. Can you wear gloves, like examination gloves? When I had to take vitals on participants at work my boss suggested I wear gloves so I wouldn't freak about touching skin. I would use some hand sanitizer after taking off the gloves and that would help me go on till I could wash my hands.

It is cool indeed. He didn't say anything about gloves, but I'm sure I could bring some in. I used to use hand sanitizer obsessively, then I heard a study that concluded that it might cause infertility and hormone problems (I suppose that's another OCD concern). It also started drying out my skin.

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6 hours ago, HAL9000 said:

Once I worked in a grocery store where one of the "chores" was to line up all the cans so they had the front facing out.   Hoo hoo!  Can I just do this all day?!    Why do I have to go home!?!?  No overtime?  No problem I'll just do it after I punch out. 

LOL this made me laugh so hard! I just have this image of an employee who looks totally strung out organizing cans at 3AM and refusing to go home. 

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I'm so glad to see this thread.

My OCD right now is manifesting as an eating disorder (or so says my tdoc). I just keep wanting to wipe the slate clean. I'm also having obsessive self-harm thoughts. Fuck you, OCD.

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On 12/3/2016 at 3:09 AM, HAL9000 said:

I don't have to deal with obsessive hand washing.  Mine is the lets make piles of the red M&Ms Green in this one, brown in this and eat all the yellow ones.

Once I worked in a grocery store where one of the "chores" was to line up all the cans so they had the front facing out.   Hoo hoo!  Can I just do this all day?!    Why do I have to go home!?!?  No overtime?  No problem I'll just do it after I punch out. 

Then computer programming.... Ahhhhhh.... everything must be perfect.  It must have detailed comments so any fool can understand how it works.  Which is why I hate Microsoft who seems to not have ANY people like me writing that shit THEY call software.

Now.... Lets talk electronic design.   Lots of pretty traces that must be perfectly connected to the right thing.   Silkscreen in the right spots.  Ahhhh life is good for a mental patient like me.  ;-)

Anxiety and depression suck.   OCD on the other hand has some positive aspects.  *I think.

haha I love this!

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I'm stressed so the number 6 is getting to me more than usual. I'm tempted to do the compulsions and do anything possible to avoid 6 but I have to remind myself. A mass murder will not happen if I don't avoid 6. Murder has 6 letters. Shit. I can do this. I've been managing this. Go back to your room, OCD!

So many 6 letter words in my post! 

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3 hours ago, iaawal said:

I'm stressed so the number 6 is getting to me more than usual. I'm tempted to do the compulsions and do anything possible to avoid 6 but I have to remind myself. A mass murder will not happen if I don't avoid 6. Murder has 6 letters. Shit. I can do this. I've been managing this. Go back to your room, OCD!

So many 6 letter words in my post! 

Hope it gets easier soon! you're stronger then this!

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Let me count the amount of times I had just finished checking that the format for a paper was exactly right, with the correct margins, spacing, font, font size, and formatting, only to think "but what if I missed something, then I'll fail and have to drop out of college". But of course, the number of times I have to check has to be a multiple of three because three is a nice, friendly number. I like triangles, but only equilateral ones because they're all even and equal and symmetrical.

And speaking of numbers! Boy do I sure love counting, love taking statistics on how much work I have left to do instead of doing the actual work. And you gotta because what if someone asks how much you have left to do? And they're mad that you don't have an answer for them, then they never wanna talk to you again and wanna kill you and then everything will go to shit. 

And can we talk about avoiding driving so I don't suddenly impulsively steer myself into the river, or end up in the river by other means? And what if I hit a cat? Then my cats will be mad at me and go all Pet Sematary on me. 

And not to mention how I keep coming back and editing this post because I keep thinking of more. 

On a side note, I've had OCD manifest in an eating disorder before as well. I was such a little calorie counter, I weighed myself every day, obsessively calculated my BMI. And I had to keep going cause what if I gained weight? And then I encountered the purging, getting that contamination out.

Edited by jacques
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I need to make out Christmas cards soon... AKA I'll address envelope after envelope until they're 'just right' or more likey I'll run out of envelopes, which will cause extreme duress. I'm a compulsive editor/re-writer. I hate it. Anxious just thinking about having to write them. And does anyone even notice if my letters don't line up exactly right? Or slant down too much? Doubtful. But it eats me up inside.

 

@Jacques

Your first paragraph really hits home with me.. it's why I avoid writing like the plague. And I love to write (in theory, anyway.) 

11 hours ago, jacques said:

Let me count the amount of times I had just finished checking that the format for a paper was exactly right, with the correct margins, spacing, font, font size, and formatting, only to think "but what if I missed something, then I'll fail and have to drop out of college". But of course, the number of times I have to check has to be a multiple of three because three is a nice, friendly number. I like triangles, but only equilateral ones because they're all even and equal and symmetrical.

 

Edited by her-escape
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This is just a random thought. But, how is anyone actually organized with this disorder? I am diagnosed with OCD. My obsessions are kinda odd. I do have obsessions with things being in order and perfect. But, I seem to never be able to accomplish it, just gets messy again and I get so depress. I am at the point it doesn't matter. I might as well be depress and mean toward myself for not having things organized than the worst emotions I get when everything gets messy again. 

 

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I'm mostly a checker, with some handwashing and counting rituals thrown in.

My OCD is so severe that I can't leave my house without help (someone has to check behind me to see that stove is off, door locked, all lights and tv off, etc, because I don't trust myself to do it).

My main obsession is that if everything is not turned off  (and I do mean everything) my house will burn down while I'm gone.

As a result, I rarely leave my house and can no longer work..This OCD is horrible....it has basically turned me into a recluse.

I'm afraid to drive because I'm scared of my car breaking down or being in an accident, plus I'm afraid to go out at night, and the list goes on.

I am currently taking generic Anafranil (clomipramine), but so far it's not helping after being on it about 6 months....I tell my pdoc that I don't think it's working, but she still keeps prescribing it.

I know I need a tdoc, but my insurance won't cover it, so I'm really stuck about what to do from here.

 

 

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@CrazyRedhead

 

That is how it was for me when it really became bad. I remember I just started college...i didn't want to be there because I wanted to figure myself out. My OCD was always there, but it got worst.

I couldn't leave the house.. I would triple check everything to make sure it was off and couldn't burn anything down. I never unplugged the TV or my computer because I didn't see them as threats. 

I couldn't eat because I had a huge obsession with contamination. Hair in my food. So I ended up just eating ramen noodle (god that is poison all on it's own).

I would force myself to leave....but I would be anxious and couldn't wait to get home because I had a fear it would burn down. 

What helped me was taking time off and I honestly got a dog. That might not be something for you...it really depends on your OCD overall, but my dog forced me to focus on what was happening now (because I had to care for the pooch) and got me out of my head. Mix that with some therapy (just someone for me to blabb to), having people in my life that I enjoyed being around, and some medicine. I slowly but surely gained control of my OCD.

The best therapist I had was at an IOP....I had to go I believe 4 times a week. Antipsychotics were the best for my OCD. 

over about 2 years of therapy I figure out what 'trigger' my ocd and also how to control it. I am off meds and sometimes my OCD will start to really rear it's head, but I have learned how to counteract that. I am off meds and it's not always easy. This is about 3 or 4 years after I was officially diagnosed. While not everyone can one day be off meds for their OCD, it's not out of the realm. If it gets really bad I will just go back on meds for some time.

Anyway this is just my story and I thought maybe you wanted to hear from someone who went through possibly something similar. 

Wish you the best!

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Is anyone here ever scared to tell people about their OCD especially to people they know is going to be around them a lot and may notice strange nuances in behavior?

I never tell anyone, but I thought about if I did tell people how would I explain it. There is such a clear view of what OCD looks like to the public that doesn't always (and maybe even) rarely appears that way.

Plus It would makes me feel vulnerable... like I just shared my Achilles heel to someone.

Anyway had to write that somewhere... just a thought that cross my mind.

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On 14/7/2016 at 6:04 PM, Asho2345 said:

Same as the threads on the other sections, thought one would be good here

Well I have problems whit obsessive thoughts even do I have an schizoid disorder.

Currently my obsessions are screweing things up whit a girl that I like and thinking she is talking to another men or she likes another men or that she is tired of me, that takes me to the point o thinking the worst every time she replies  a short message.

And second but not less powerful is my obsession whit sex, to be specific whit my foot and high heels fetish, I just have the obsession of making out whit the girl i see wearing sandals or high heels.

Both obsessions are hell.

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My OCD has been out of control again. I took a test with my tdoc and I'm in the "severe" category again (used to be "moderate"). I hate this. I feel like no one understands how horrible it feels to have OCD. It's not taken seriously enough. It's hell. 

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@aura Sorry to hear it's been out of control again. That really really sucks. I do get how sometimes no one takes it seriously. It's probably because of all the that are "so OCD" when all they do is keep things organized or carry a hand sanitizer around. It's become somewhat of a joke. One time my OCD was out of control and I told my tdoc at the time, her response was, "just stop doing the compulsions." Like NO FUCKING SHIT. OMG WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT. WOW. 

Hope it gets under control soon. 

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@iaawal Wow. I can't believe your tdoc said that. That sucks. I'm lucky that mine specializes in OCD (though it can be a problem too when I'm having more bipolar/psychosis issues... she always wants to attribute what's going on to OCD).

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@aura Yeah, I once cut myself and couldn't figure out why (emotional numbness) so she suggested that I cut myself to have something to talk about in therapy. I just wanted to slap her. Shortly after I stopped seeing her. 

That's great that she specializes in OCD but I can understand the frustration. I feel there is some overlap in obsessions and delusions or rather a fine line. With driving mine become borderline delusions. Like the reason I can't find the bodies that I run over is because an alien came and took them away. The reason I can't feel them when I run over them is because humans are flat. Regardless, they do feel different so I can understand the frustration when it's not being understood. At least for me, one has a solution (or prevention or something) and the other is just there and it's true and that's it.

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Starting up CBT (particularly exposure and response prevention) for OCD again this week. Made two small adjustments and so far I'm handling it well. Next week is full on exposure time.

I want the OCD to go away so badly, but I'm also so scared! I'm not 100% convinced my checking measures are unreasonable. My tdoc has been doing a lot of challenging my thoughts, but still it's hard. I see her once a week, but I live this all the time.

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Hi guys, 

I seem to have a much milder 'version' of OCD. It's still distressing for me though :-(
A thought got stuck and I worry about it. Keep paying attention to it. It's a little like being extremely aware of a thought and then obsess about why it won't go away. The first time this happened to me was when I was around 19 years old. I became incredibly averted to having this certain word stuck in my mind. It will only go away when I'm really distracted. After that it will come back....and I worry over it again. 
I always look for reassurance on the internet. It works for a while, but then I go look for more info again. I did learn to stop this in the past but lately I feel so anxious!

There have been good periods, but it keeps coming back. SSRI's helped a lot ( seemed in remission for about 5 years) but the last one pooped out on me so now I'm trying another one.

My grandmother was an obsessive cleaner, my dad hypochondriac, my sister bites the skin around her nails and on my mothers side there's addiction to alcohol and gambling. My mom was severely depressed after I was born....
I have bad genetics I suppose...



 

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I'm super nervous about therapy tomorrow. We're going to do an exposure surrounding my car OCD (looots of checking). I've been so unstable mood-wise the past two years that OCD treatment was put on the backburner. Now I need to pull myself together and start exposures again. Anyone else go through this?

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I wish I drove. There are many things I can't do because I don't have a car (or friends).

Go to meetups because apparently all the lesbians hang out in places on the other side of town that are not on my bus route and would be $30 each way on uber or even more with surge prices or taxis. There's only one mental health meetup that I can go too because it's accessible by bus. 

I had to quit the only gym on my bus route because I could get there in the evening but the bus going the other way doesn't stop by my apartment so it would require lots of walking home or ubers. I can't go in the mornings because I can't get there but I could get to work. So lots of walking or ubers. Let's not even get started on weekend schedules. Walking or ubers both ways. 

I don't feel ready to tackle that though and I don't have anyone that I would trust to be in a car with me to help me. I know myself. If I don't feel ready and I push myself over my limits then I just go to square one. It's happened with my other fears (heights, anxiety, etc.) I've gotten too far with my controlling my compulsions and I don't feel like risking it. It would be almost 8 years of progress down the drain. Doesn't mean I can't shed a tear or two about it though.

Stupid OCD telling me I'm running people/animals over. 

One day. This can also be solved by making a friend that I can bum rides off of but social anxiety takes care of that one. :\

 

Edited by iaawal
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On 1/16/2017 at 5:35 PM, aura said:

I'm super nervous about therapy tomorrow. We're going to do an exposure surrounding my car OCD (looots of checking). I've been so unstable mood-wise the past two years that OCD treatment was put on the backburner. Now I need to pull myself together and start exposures again. Anyone else go through this?

Aura, is your car OCD about running people over/obsessively checking if you did? If so, can you let me know if your therapy helps you? 

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On 12/20/2016 at 0:47 AM, CherryBlossom said:

This is just a random thought. But, how is anyone actually organized with this disorder? I am diagnosed with OCD. My obsessions are kinda odd. I do have obsessions with things being in order and perfect. But, I seem to never be able to accomplish it, just gets messy again and I get so depress. I am at the point it doesn't matter. I might as well be depress and mean toward myself for not having things organized than the worst emotions I get when everything gets messy again. 

 

I have OCPD (like the bigger, nastier, shitty cousin of OCD) but I also have pretty much straight-forward OCD too. I am so damn messy, it's ridiculous. Part of it is the dyspraxia, but with OCD I start tidying, then get upset because I'd have to completely redo my whole bedroom to have an organised system, then I get depressed and... nothing gets tidied haha. I'm more the hoarder OCPD than obsessively organised OCPD which.. is difficult. I'd love to be organised but alas. Sometimes it's just about saying you were able to do some washing or hoover the floor rather than have a sparkling clean room/school notes/etc. It's an ouroboros of anxiety/inability.

EDIT:

iaawal your (former?) therapist sounds... bad. What the heck? I can understand the feeling of 'is this psychosis or this is anxiety' though. I keep thinking about (tw) breaking my fingers. I don't even want to do it, it's just happening. aura, I hope your exposure stuff goes well. It's worth trying? To be honest I had a lot of 'organic' exposure therapy (life just kept throwing triggering things at me) and it took years but I am a lot better with certain things. 

Edited by ananke
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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 4 weeks later...

Lately I have been obsessed with certain things being straight. Especially at the grocery store. It drives me nuts. If I see something in the freezer aisle upside down I have to fix it or if a cereal box is not lined up straight I can't go by without fixing it .. I have tried . I will even wait , when people leave ... when I can't get to it and go back.  I don't know if people notice but if they do I will straight up tell them it bugs me. But shit , I should probabaly get a job there as a night person who stocks shelves. 

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1 hour ago, KnickNak said:

Lately I have been obsessed with certain things being straight. Especially at the grocery store. It drives me nuts. If I see something in the freezer aisle upside down I have to fix it or if a cereal box is not lined up straight I can't go by without fixing it .. I have tried . I will even wait , when people leave ... when I can't get to it and go back.  I don't know if people notice but if they do I will straight up tell them it bugs me. But shit , I should probabaly get a job there as a night person who stocks shelves. 

I bet the employees appreciate it though! ;)

I have that at home, where I'll spend too long making the bed because it has to be just so, rearranging books so they line up and the colors don't clash, etc. I'll think they're ok.. sit down and nope. Get back up. Change something. Sit back down. Repeat.  

Makes me want to scream. 

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2 hours ago, her-escape said:

I bet the employees appreciate it though! ;)

I have that at home, where I'll spend too long making the bed because it has to be just so, rearranging books so they line up and the colors don't clash, etc. I'll think they're ok.. sit down and nope. Get back up. Change something. Sit back down. Repeat.  

Makes me want to scream. 

Omg.. Hopefully you don't have a lot of blankets on the bed haha... I am the same way, repeat and check. someone will be talking to me and I am not listening I will be thinking of something else i need to check. I do scream sometimes... only at home. I don't need to be screaming in public and be taken away by the cops. 

Edited by KnickNak
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On 2/16/2017 at 5:45 PM, ananke said:

I have a weird obsession with the number 3, but it's always a positive thing? Idk I like things that are triangular or in thirds for some reason. Hate the number 14 though. Urgh

I also love the number 3. And 9, since it's a multiple.

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This is a little weird, but whenever I go to visit my mom and dad's grave at the cemetery, I notice when flowers or wreaths have fallen over on other people's graves.......

This really bothers me, and I feel compelled to set them up in their right place again, whenever possible, even if the person who drove me there might be in more of a hurry.

In my mind, this is a show of respect, although actually it's the job of the cemetery groundskeepers to keep everything looking nice.

Edited by CrazyRedhead
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  • 1 month later...
On 1/25/2017 at 2:38 AM, iaawal said:

Stupid OCD telling me I'm running people/animals over. 

This is old, but this is exactly why I don't have my driver's license yet. I'm learning right now due to absolute need, but best of luck to you.

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I have certain words that I've straight up yelled at my family for using, and my preoccupation with numbers is more of a positive thing. I love multiples of five, I prefer 3 to 4 and 13 to 14 but other than those and odd multiples of five, I usually prefer the evens. 

Lately, a fear of running off the road while my dad is teaching me to drive have returned because I recently drove my front wheels into a ditch. I haven't driven since.

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  • 1 month later...
On 4/27/2017 at 11:28 AM, jacques said:

I have certain words that I've straight up yelled at my family for using, and my preoccupation with numbers is more of a positive thing. I love multiples of five, I prefer 3 to 4 and 13 to 14 but other than those and odd multiples of five, I usually prefer the evens. 

Lately, a fear of running off the road while my dad is teaching me to drive have returned because I recently drove my front wheels into a ditch. I haven't driven since.

Sorry to hear that. Must have been scary. :( 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I got diagnosed an hour ago (no exaggeration) and instantly thought of what sites should be updated.

So that's one of mine. Updating friends and social media. I have to be online, my bios have to be perfect, and every post has to convey the right thing. If I don't someone will be in danger I could have prevented. 

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  • 4 weeks later...
5 minutes ago, unknown diagnosis said:

Anyone have a case of schizo/psycho-ocd? It always interests me how certain disorders interact, and i know that in my case my pure o and psychosis are interacting by creating obsessions that are psychotic in nature. Does anyone have that too?

I've got both diagnoses. Sometimes it's a bit hard to tell if I'm having an obsession or a delusion. Or a delusional obsession. It all blends together and it confused my doctors for a long time.

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I've got both diagnoses as well. It can be a bit difficult to tell whether some of the things I hear internally (like music, sounds, and voices) are from OCD or psychosis. But other than that, they tend not to blend together a whole lot other than my OCD latching onto my psychosis and making me think about it.

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On 7/6/2017 at 2:01 AM, aura said:

OCD ruined my day today. I obsessed non-stop, couldn't pay attention to anything else. Damn you OCD!

ugh sorry to hear that :(

 

I've been trying to let myself tic freely, even if I'm in public. because when I try not to have tics, my tension grows. so I'm waving my hands, talking to myself, jerking my head... it doesn't look neurotypical, but it's actually helping?

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 10 months later...

one of my coworkers is driving me crazy. she lacks attention to detail and does a half-assed job cleaning up, cutting corners and skipping any inconvenient stuff. i work in a bakery. i need to clean things thoroughly or i worry that somehow tomorrow's bread will be ruined. i usually go back over her work and clean what she missed. she always says that she's a "perfectionist".... she has no idea how much she isn't. i wish she would let me organize everything the way i want it to be.

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  • 11 months later...
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