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I feel so freaking crazy. I've had Depersonalization and Derealization for almost 5 months now 24 HOURS PER DAY!!! I never get a break from it! :(

I'm so tired of holding on and hoping for it to get better. I keep flirting with suicidal thoughts even though I do NOT want to die. I just don't know how I can live with this.

I'm constantly feeling like I'm on the verge of a panic attack and experience the most intense fear and anxiety every day. I'm just so tired and scared.

I hope the meds help (been on Lamictal and Zyprexa for 2 weeks or so now). I'm trying to hang on to the thought they might help in time.

Nothing feels or looks real, and I have literally no sense of self. I can't believe I'm even a human or that I ever thought anything was real before. I feel like I'm drifting through outer space literally. It feels like I'm drugged up or high 24/7 with intense fear.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I'm sorry this is happening to you. I'm pretty new to my own treatment so don't have much good advice. I have had the symptoms you describe but not for so long a time. I hope the meds improve your day-to-day experiences eventually.

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