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I have been told over and over"why are you depressed youhave everything you could ask for?".

Well tbh idk why im so depressed. I mean im getting married in August,i start college  also in August.

People tell me i have my life together but i dont. I wake up begging to go back to sleep so i dont have to face another day. Besides my boyfriend i feel i have no one. Im 3000 miles away from family. Im alone all day with my service dog. Yes she is great but its notthe same. My meds make me worse and lately i have started to become very voilent torroweds myselfand others around me weither it i me screaming at the top of my lungs or flipping out at walmart at a person who told me a service dog has no right to bein stores were they have food. I cry at the drop of a dime for no reasons at all. But im ok right, noim not im far from ok and if i had it my way i would be dead.

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For many people, that's the definition of depression.  You have no reason.  Life in theory should be good.  But you feel like shit anyway and have a host of symptoms that just don't make sense, but add up to misery. 

What supports do you have right now in place beyond your boyfriend and your service dog?  Do you have a psychiatrist and therapist on board?  Is your family accessible via face-time, skype, or anything similar if they are people you find supportive?  Getting some of them involved might help--though possibly with an explanation from a therapist or doctor in advance that your symptoms are in fact real and do matter. 

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1 hour ago, sweetlysinister said:

I understand that feeling "there isn't any wrong with you why are you sad"

^^Me too.  I hate when people ask me that.  Actually that said to me just makes me angrier than I already am sometimes.  I want to scream and yell at the person who said it.

I'm sorry you feel like you do now.  Do you have a therapist or psychiatrist that you could call?

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i do have a pdoc but no tdoc.  Tbh my family hate me becasue i left them. i am on ssi so i was the money sorce so no they had to get a real job and support themself so im the bad one. i want to be happy i want that more then anything in the world butit might never happen and that is why i just feel like giving up most of the time. i know it is wrong but shit what isnt wrong now a days. I sit and watch the news and it breaks my heart to see people killing eachother. if i could jsut have one thing it would be peace of mind that i could deal with myself and my depression but i cant so im not even gonna pretent 

 

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