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does this sound like "mixed" mood?


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I know you can't diagnose me, but my doctors are being super wishy washy and just saying I'm having "bipolar symptoms" because they aren't able to meet me in person (I'm out of state). I don't think I've ever been mixed before, so I was wondering if this sounded familiar to anyone here.

 

- Rapid mood switching... I'll be hypo for 3-5 days, depressed 2-4 days, switching back and forth for the past month. But in the past few days I've been switching moods from agitated to depressed to euphoric within the same day.

- Lots of irritability. I've gotten into a few arguments with my professor and fiancee. 

- Sometimes a ton of energy, other times no energy at all

- Difficulty falling asleep, but trouble waking up (meds might contribute to this)

- Paranoia: thinking people are conspiring against me and judging me; thinking my meds are poison

- Unusual experiences, like shifting dimensions and encountering angelic symbols

 

Does any of this ring a bell for anyone? I feel so confused right now. I don't know what's happening to me. All I know is that I'm not full-on manic.

Edited by aura
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For me, mixed mania generally feels like the energy of mania but with thoughts that are more like depression. So I might not be able to sleep but the racing thoughts I'm having aren't even vaguely productive or entertaining. They're dark. Even gorey.  

Shifting dimensions and angelic encounters, however, do not sound like normal bipolar symptoms. They sound like delusions or hallucinations. If your doctors aren't available, you might need to find local doctors to treat you. Or go to the emergency room if these med changes don't help soon.

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I wish I could tell you.  I really do.

The first four sound like a "current dances mood," minus that I don't get the euphoria extreme.  It's pretty much the rest of it though. 

The last two sound more like psychosis (probably because the mood stuff is off).  I'd at least say changing a med on that front before things get worse is rather critical, though the whole thing is also as you know I'm sure. 

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8 hours ago, aura said:

 

- Rapid mood switching... I'll be hypo for 3-5 days, depressed 2-4 days, switching back and forth for the past month. But in the past few days I've been switching moods from agitated to depressed to euphoric within the same day.

- Lots of irritability. I've gotten into a few arguments with my professor and fiancee. 

- Sometimes a ton of energy, other times no energy at all

- Difficulty falling asleep, but trouble waking up (meds might contribute to this)

- Paranoia: thinking people are conspiring against me and judging me; thinking my meds are poison

- Unusual experiences, like shifting dimensions and encountering angelic symbols

 

Does any of this ring a bell for anyone? I feel so confused right now. I don't know what's happening to me. All I know is that I'm not full-on manic.

FWIW ... I don't remember being in a mixed state, but what you describe sounds like when my moods are all over the place in general, it feels like I am stuck in between 2 things and I cant' get out ... and the struggle to get out causes the irritability, anger, frustration and pretty much everything you listed in your OP. 

So I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone in feeling all these ways at once. 

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Thank you all for the responses. I'm still in contact with my doctors though I'm out of town, so they know what's going on. I'm also making a trip home to meet them on Monday. Apart from the mild paranoia, I don't really think I'm having psychosis... sometimes stuff like that happens to me. I'll let me docs know though, of course, since I tell them everything.

I'm taking a higher dose of Saphris now and I feel less depressed, which is very exciting. Let's just hope I don't get elevated. I really have no clue what to expect at the moment!

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For what it's worth, in our experience (not dx'd as BP either):

Mixed-state feels like.. energy, but none of the good feeling that goes with it in hypomania. Restlessness, needing to do stuff, being frustrated, irritable, because you can't.. Do enough, because you can't do what you want (which is often extreme depressive stuff). Lots of really depressive thoughts mixed in with it. The mix of energy & suicidal intent has lead to some of our more.. dangerous phases lately.

A lot of what you're describing sounds like when we're rapid-cycling; Can be utterly-depressed-as-fuck-barely-move for a few hours, then hypo later, and even go back again all in the same day. Rapid Cycling BP is a thing you might wanna look into if you haven't.

Tri

Edited by WinterTidings
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10 hours ago, aura said:

Thank you all for the responses. I'm still in contact with my doctors though I'm out of town, so they know what's going on. I'm also making a trip home to meet them on Monday. Apart from the mild paranoia, I don't really think I'm having psychosis... sometimes stuff like that happens to me. I'll let me docs know though, of course, since I tell them everything.

The thing is, stuff like that really shouldn't happen to you. I would view the fact that it does as an indication that you are not on the right meds. The fact that you're used to it doesn't make it normal or healthy.

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Sounds kinda like rapid cycling to me. Mixed is more like boundless energy and depression at the same time. I am a rapid cycler, and unmedicated, I can bounce between states in 4-5 days. I did mood charting when I was off meds, and it followed a nice predictable cycle. The worst are the days you shift, because you can be extremely energetic in the morning and incredibly depressed by the evening. I also get irritable as hell when I shift moods.

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