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I think I now hate the people who suck . . . which may be almost all of them?


Noppera-bo
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So, my abusers all suck of course. May family that isn't dead sucks for abandoning me after my Dad died 2 years ago. Apparently they thought I could magically get my blood brother who left the family when h turned 18 to sign documents to dear old dead-beat dead Dad in the ground. My brother refused to even talk to any of us. The rest of the family blamed me. My lawyer sucks too. He seems to work for my abusers instead of for me, and his dealing with my abusers so they stop being cunts and follow the Final Restraining Orders is why I had to hire them. But all I hear from the lawyer that sucks is how hard it is for my abusers right now, being that a Superior court banned them from my home and from contacting me. My doctors suck for thinking I'm an idiot and could never understand my own conditions let alone research them until I've fund all relevant and current data there is on them. My employer sucks for not recognizing easy solutions to their current issues that they want me to solve. Strangers suck for either being creepy, annoying, superficial, or willfully stupid about things they know little of, but as long as they "believe" they know, it's o.k. Fuck.

 

I think I may have finally begun to hate almost all humans on the planet. It took nearly 34 years of watching and listening to the bullshit, the manipulations, fear tactics, half-truths, falsehoods, outright lies, and game playing. And now I'm just done with it all. And that's outside of what humans do to knowledge itself, to history, to reality and to each other.

 

Right, it's about to get incoherent. I'm on new meds that "supposedly" work with my genetics and "apparently" better than the pharmacy I've been on for 15 years here and there. None of it works and my pdoc doesn't give a shit as she thought i might not and I'm at the end of the ones she's willing to put me on. Sooo, my mar depression is just advancing and my PTSD not really helped by it and, well, end of the line? I think my pdoc sucks now too. It's ok though, cuz I'm the one everyone says needs to keep apologizing, and giving in, and warping myself for others or bending or breaking for them. Yep. No one on the planet ever did anything bad or annoying or screwed up.

 

Anyway, rant done. Feel free to comment, but I might not get to t since I'm not sure I have the energy t do much more than my best t fade into the background again, considering death won't fucking get over here already n matter what I've done to beckon it 

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16 hours ago, Noppera-bo said:

So, my abusers all suck of course. May family that isn't dead sucks for abandoning me after my Dad died 2 years ago. Apparently they thought I could magically get my blood brother who left the family when h turned 18 to sign documents to dear old dead-beat dead Dad in the ground. My brother refused to even talk to any of us. The rest of the family blamed me. My lawyer sucks too. He seems to work for my abusers instead of for me, and his dealing with my abusers so they stop being cunts and follow the Final Restraining Orders is why I had to hire them. But all I hear from the lawyer that sucks is how hard it is for my abusers right now, being that a Superior court banned them from my home and from contacting me. My doctors suck for thinking I'm an idiot and could never understand my own conditions let alone research them until I've fund all relevant and current data there is on them. My employer sucks for not recognizing easy solutions to their current issues that they want me to solve. Strangers suck for either being creepy, annoying, superficial, or willfully stupid about things they know little of, but as long as they "believe" they know, it's o.k. Fuck.

 

I think I may have finally begun to hate almost all humans on the planet. It took nearly 34 years of watching and listening to the bullshit, the manipulations, fear tactics, half-truths, falsehoods, outright lies, and game playing. And now I'm just done with it all. And that's outside of what humans do to knowledge itself, to history, to reality and to each other.

 

Right, it's about to get incoherent. I'm on new meds that "supposedly" work with my genetics and "apparently" better than the pharmacy I've been on for 15 years here and there. None of it works and my pdoc doesn't give a shit as she thought i might not and I'm at the end of the ones she's willing to put me on. Sooo, my mar depression is just advancing and my PTSD not really helped by it and, well, end of the line? I think my pdoc sucks now too. It's ok though, cuz I'm the one everyone says needs to keep apologizing, and giving in, and warping myself for others or bending or breaking for them. Yep. No one on the planet ever did anything bad or annoying or screwed up.

 

Anyway, rant done. Feel free to comment, but I might not get to t since I'm not sure I have the energy t do much more than my best t fade into the background again, considering death won't fucking get over here already n matter what I've done to beckon it 

Just wanted you to know I read your post.  I don't have any suggestions, but I will be following this thread to see if I can add on later.

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