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Changed pdocs 2 yrs ago and then things got worse?


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Hey everybody,

I love you guys. What can I do now that I changed pdocs 2 years ago and things got worse?

My pdoc 2 years ago did better. I was on

-lithium carbonate 600mg morning and bedtime.

-Invega 9mg

-Lorazepam 1mg bedtime as needed

for Schizoaffective disorder BP type 1.

Now my new pdoc has and still is trying to stabilize me for my daily suicidal thoughts for a scale of 6. The suicidal thoughts are always the same. Once or twice a day lasts for 5-10mins and I've been

waiting for 2 years. 

He changed meds about 20+ times in the past 2 years I reckon. Effexor, Wellbutrin, etc too many meds thinking is giving me headache right now etc. I see him every 1-2 weeks or 3 weeks because I still feel worse.

I don't want to die however, just those 5-10 mins feel like 8 or 9 out of 10. My mom told the 911 ambulance "my son said he has been thinking to go to Mexico and buy the nembutal drink to die," something like that.

The daily suicidal thoughts for 2 years has been bothering me and annoying me. My therapist is still not able to stop the suicidal thoughts. I see him weekly, already 2 years.  
Do you guys have good suggestions? 

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Personally I would find a new pdoc, not go back to the first one, not stay with your current one.  If it were me I would definitely find another (new) one. 

Why did you leave your first one?

Does the pdoc you see now seem like he is really invested in you getting better, or is it like he is just "there" prescribing meds?

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7 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

Personally I would find a new pdoc, not go back to the first one, not stay with your current one.  If it were me I would definitely find another (new) one. 

Why did you leave your first one?

Does the pdoc you see now seem like he is really invested in you getting better, or is it like he is just "there" prescribing meds?

Hi melissaw72,

Thanks for your kind help! 

I left the first one because the major problem was the sleep. I couldn't sleep some days at all.

 And the lithium side effects that were bothering me -having to drink water every 15 minutes.  Having little sleep made me feel worse and such.

My OCD not being addressed.

My current pdoc seems he is interested. Wonderful thing is that he lets me tries

meds that I ask like Latuda, Topamax, Wellbutrin, etc. I am very healthy now because I am at healthy weight range because of his kind help

that I asked my wieght concernes and helped me with other things.

1 problem is the deep depression every 24 hours lasting 5-10 minutes that been going on for 2 years. Other than that it's amazing life!!

 

Thanks I may see him tomorrow, WIsh me luck guys. I need it!!

Good luck to all of you! 

 

 

 

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One of the things that I've found helpful for suicidal thoughts of all types is to remember they are just thoughts. They are not commands. They are not divine edicts that must be obeyed. They're just thoughts. Like any other thought. Some thoughts I take seriously such as "I would like coffee." And other thoughts like "It would be a good idea to chop off a finger," not so much. Rather than fighting to get rid of the thoughts, I found that they seem to get less frequent and less intense the more I can acknowledge the thought is there and I am choosing to not act on it.

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6 hours ago, Wooster said:

One of the things that I've found helpful for suicidal thoughts of all types is to remember they are just thoughts. They are not commands. They are not divine edicts that must be obeyed. They're just thoughts. Like any other thought. Some thoughts I take seriously such as "I would like coffee." And other thoughts like "It would be a good idea to chop off a finger," not so much. Rather than fighting to get rid of the thoughts, I found that they seem to get less frequent and less intense the more I can acknowledge the thought is there and I am choosing to not act on it.

It's the thought and the incredible down feeling of being depressed with negative thoughts and emotional pain. 

Like getting a bone broken daily for the rest of your lifre for example.

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One of the things that seems to be true is that our emotions are information that responds to our internal and external environments. Change something in yourself, change something in your environment mood shifts.

You are not prisoner to your thoughts and urges.

Yes, it's painful. And the experience of pain seems to be in the mind. There are non-drug ways you can learn to manage the pain so it interferes less with your life even if it never goes away.

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3 hours ago, Wooster said:

One of the things that seems to be true is that our emotions are information that responds to our internal and external environments. Change something in yourself, change something in your environment mood shifts.

You are not prisoner to your thoughts and urges.

Yes, it's painful. And the experience of pain seems to be in the mind. There are non-drug ways you can learn to manage the pain so it interferes less with your life even if it never goes away.

I was having psychomotor agitation daily. At that point I would always be suicidal. Then it passed.

But you have your opinion.. People have different opinions and what's bearable for them.

Just because your opinion is this doesn't mean every one will agree. In fact, my therapists said that. When you experience restlessness, it's not painful. It's inside problem. In the mind. 

Everyone is special and unique. No one knows 100% of the problems and how to solve every mental problem.

There are a lot of bad doctors out there.

take care. thanks

 

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