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I was assaulted.


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And the police won't do anything.  I can just imagine the person who did it told them I am crazy.  I have scratches and bruises and went to the ER to make sure my baby was ok.  I also had to get a tetanus shot.

Why won't anyone take me seriously anymore?

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Heya invictus,

Fuck that sucks.

Why the hell won't the cops file charges -- if not on your behalf than on the kid's???

People, even emerg staff, can be jerks, or self-centred enough not to call the cops.

Noone takes us seriously because we have particular medical diagnoses that have to do with our brains.

Are you and the baby okay???

--ncc--

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Yeah, we seem to be ok.  I am very sore and have scratches and bruises all over me, but we are ok.  I had an ultrasound and the baby's hb is 160 bpm and it is growing.  The bad news is that I have a subchorionic hemorrhage.

The cops say that my injuries are not life-threatening so they can't do anything and apparently if you suddenly decide you don't want someone in your home anymore you can without warning physically remove them after beating them up.

I didn't tell the emergency staff that I am bipolar.  I had already called the cops myself, so they left it at that.

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Hey, Kiddo, I don't know where you live, but be sure you follow up with your OB doc like yesterday and every day for a while--and call legal aid. If you have a subchorionic hemmoriage, then, technically, your baby was/is AT RISK, and at the very least you can get a restraining order against the person who did this to you both, and/or sue, sue, sue the pants off of him/her, even if he/she has nothing.  You need to keep bugging the shit out of the cops. They are  NOT doing their jobs.

PLEASE listen to me--your baby WAS at risk, and technically, this person should have been arrested for assault and battery,at the least.  I am an RN, and I have worked at a big inner=-city hospital and I have seen and worked with pregnant women who have been assaulted,and NEVER have I heard of police who just blew the whole thing off with the kind of injuries you and your baby had.  NEVER.

PLEASE--KEEEP IN TOUCH WITH YOUR OB, YOU NEED ULTRASOUNDS, SEVERAL MORE, AND THE ASSHOLE NEEDS TO BE IN JAIL.

You can PM me if you want to or need more info--but I do this for a living, honey, and you are being given the giant run-around by the fucking cops and it is NOT RIGHT. 

china,the pissed off RN who wants to help you--just tell me what I can do--

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Heya Invictus,

PM China for sure.

If I was down there, I'd be with her.

The criminal/civil charges/issues are the most important aspects, I guess.

Again, document ongoing u/s on the subchorionic hemorrhage.

Document, document, document.

The only things that happened are the things that were recorded.

BUT aside from litigation.

Just be okay.

--ncc--

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go back to the police station and tell them about the hemmorhage and then file a complaint against the officers that did not file charges.  It sounds as though you are female (a wild guess) and if your assaulter is male (another shot in the dark) then the rules for most police institutions are changing in this regard, removing discretion from police officers because they tend to react in a sexist manner.  Anyway, get the assault documented properly with the police, as it may come in handy for a restraining order or other legal handiwork in the future.

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Very much agree with what's been said here. A few additional thoughts:

1)  Call your local women's services center, organization for prevention of domestic violence, rape crisis center...these go by different names, but any one of these can no doubt point you in the right direction toward getting some much needed help in dealing with your situation. If you're not sure what's available in your area, a good place to start is by looking in the Yellow Pages under "Social Services" or "Women's Organizations & Services".

2)  Bring someone with you when you go to the police station. This can be an advocate from one of the above organizations, or just a friend. You need someone there for support as you go through this, both to be there for you and equally important to help you navigate the system. When you get too emotional, someone else can ask the right questions and stay rational with the police. This isn't to say that you should expect this other person to completely take charge, or that you shouldn't speak up, but sometimes they will be able to press the issues when you can't.

3)  Get a copy of the police report.

4)  Ask to talk with a supervisor at the police dept. Do not settle for less. You want to speak with whoever is in charge of the appropriate division in your local police department.

I hope this makes sense. I will give this some more thought and add anything else I remember that may help. It's been many, many years for me now, but I had to navigate the system in a similar way. Of course, it isn't easy -- but whatever you can do to be proactive it dealing with this situation will help you on many levels.

Best wishes,

revlow

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My (very skinny tiny) girlfriend threw an empty plastic water bottle at her husband (who is a big giant pig) AND WAS SENT TO JAIL FOR IT! (Yeah, she got out right away but STILL!)

This is after the husband spent 2 hours berating her and smashing things because she wouldn't give him money to buy a bag of weed.

She even had to go to an anger management class and everything!!!

Needless to say, she found the best way to manage her anger was to kick his lazy, worthless, unemployed stoner ass out of the house.

Anyway, it looks like the law in your area is a little too layed back. The others have given you some excellent advise. Contacting a woman's shelter and police supervisors should get some wheels in motion.

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Just wanted to update...  I had an OB appt. today.  My doctor said the hemorrhage is very small and should resolve itself so long as I take it easy.  I'm supposed to be on bed rest.  He said I'll have another ultrasound in about a month and I have another appt. in 2 weeks.

Hard to be on bed rest when I have a 20 month old running around, but I'm doing my best.  I feel better today than I have been.  And I'm just tired of thinking about all of this and want to just forget it mostly.

Thanks everyone for your advice.

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