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It gets better?


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I am desperate.  I need to know that things can get better.  Tell me your story.  Tell me something.  Anything.

I was recently diagnosed.  Most mood-stabilizers cause cognitive side effects such that I can't read or remember my address.  I have no friends.  I've never been in a relationship.  I'm going to lose my job on the 18th.  I'm currently in a mixed state.

What reason is there to go on?  This is not living.

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Mine's not done yet.  But it is better.  By not done, I mean not back to normal, which reportedly is possible.  But by better--my symptoms plague me less, my mood is somewhat more stable (though depressed at times), and I've got a plan to work on sleep and anxiety.  There are a bunch of med things in the works, only really possible because of PHP.  Were I not in it--or if I had to wait the full two weeks of the initial program--I probably would have landed myself back IP because there were too many things that needed to be adjusted and the first place barely did any good. 

You're right that what you're experiencing right now is not living.  Any attempt to convince you otherwise would understandably riing hollow.  But it's also not a forever state.  It can in fact change and will if you manage to hang on by whatever it takes.  I've felt over the past month that at times I've barely hung on by a thread, but these days I feel like I have a relatively decent sized cloth.  My brain is still a prison sometimes and I still hate the illness, but it's lessening. 

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