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Hi, stumbled across this forum and decided to join. I'm Sylvi, I've been diagnosed with Depression for over two years and have been struggling with self harm for almost 5. Mental illness runs in my family quite a bit, so it wasn't a shock when I got diagnosed. I'll be 16 in Sep. and will be dropping out of school officially at that time, but I haven't really been to school since 7th grade sadly. I just couldn't make myself go anymore, I guess. My attendance had been quite poor prior to me stopping altogether, anyways. 

Background info, I guess. I lost my parents realtively young. Dad at 6, he had a history of heart attacks due to not taking care of himself. (Smoking, drugs, bad diet etc.) He passed away a few feet away from me, so I'm sure that affected me somehow. I was incredibly angry at first, and am still kind of. 

Mom passed just before I turned 8, from an accidental overdose. The time before that wasn't any better, she was very sick all the time both physically and mentally. It really wasn't a surprise, as depressing as that is. She delt with pain medication addiction for pretty much all the time I knew her, my father as well. But she had an infected breast implant and didn't get it treated so it went septic, which caused the accidental overdose. I live with my grandparents now with my brother.

Right now I'm pretty much just stuck and frustrated. I want to change my ways, habits and mindset but I've been like this for so long that I'm just unsure. I'm quite sheltered and avoid seeing my two friends.  Right now, I only leave the house for therapy which I know is bad. I just hope soon I'll be able to make steps towards a better life and can be happy again.

Thanks for listening to me ramble and it's nice to be here. :)

Edited by Sylvi_
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Hi Sylvi,

I'm so sorry that you have had so much to deal with in your life already. 

Welcome to Crazyboards! I'm really glad that you stumbled upon us. I hope that you benefit from it as much as I do. We're all struggling with different types of crazy stuff and try to support each other as much as possible.

So...welcome aboard!

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Hi Sylvi! Welcome to CB! I'm glad you decided to join. If you have any questions about the site, please feel free to PM me or another staff member and we will be happy to answer them.

It must be horrible to lose your parents when you are so young. That has got to affect the psyche.  I'm also sorry that you are dealing with the depression beast. That's my diagnosis too. The good news is that it can be held at bay with the right meds. I'm doing pretty well now on my cocktail. I think you hit the nail on the head about being stuck in a rut. Even though I'm not depressed on my current cocktail, I find myself stuck in old depressive habits. So, as you can see, you will find plenty of people who share your diagnosis and understand. Even those who don't share your diagnosis are really supportive because we are all in this together.

Once again, welcome aboard.

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Welcome, Sylvi.  It sounds like you've found the right place. We like to grumble and complain a lot here (like, a lot, a lot) but I think you'll find that we're actually pretty driven toward getting better. If you discover nothing else here, you'll discover that you're not alone.

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