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Sexually Impulsivity and Bipolar Disorder


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I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2011. However, before that I was always sexually impulsive. To be very straightforward and a little more detailed into my situation, I've had at least over 20 sexual encounters and was possibly raped the first time that I ever had sex. I don't know if this is part of my illness that makes me have these impulses and puts me in dangerous situations as well, or if this an addiction or both. Even with medication, I recently found myself mimicking the same behaviors. It's like a thought or a feeling (or both) that pops into my head when I meet a guy that I find myseld physically and emotionally attracted to and who finds me attractive as well (whether emotionally or physically or both or none, Idk). All I think about then is when I'm going to have sex with them. Am I sexually additive, impulsive? Are they the same thing? Residual effects of the illness after being on meds? Are they related to bipolar disorder? Does anyone else have these same issues?

Also, I just scheduled an appointment with a sex therapist to get down to the bottom of this, because I am now noticing that this is a major problem for me. I just want to know if anyone else has or does have this problem. 

Please, any amount of insight without judgment would be great.

 

 

Edited by Oniliscious
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I can so relate to what you are saying. For me, it's not been a constant, rather, a recurring theme. When I was married, it wasn't an issue. Other times, it's caused me problems. I was late to be diagnosed bipolar, so all I can do is look back and say I must have been manic then.  So, I don't have a lot of answers here, but know impulsive sex has been a problem for me, at least. I don't know how many people, not sure I want to know, and I don't share the numbers, that's for sure. If you can get a handle on it, that seems a good thing. Meds have helped me, fortunately. It can cause a lot of trouble so I hope I'm done with the extreme times at least. 

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Oh, and most of those sexual encounters were on Craigslist. I have tons of shame and suffer from major anxiety as well, maybe a trauma-related thing or not trauma related at all, idk. I just have no clue. All I know is that my mind was and still feels uncontrollable sometimes and I don't know how to cope with any of these feelings and symptoms. I just take meds and that's basically the only way that I cope. I haven't told my new pdoc or current psychologist (who I have not been consisten with in years) about these behaviors yet because I'm just so ashamed, but now I realize that in order to get help, I must tell them everything and the whole truth. It's the first step to the right recovery and the help that I've resisted for so long...

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I kept the whole story from my pdoc, I sort of sugarcoated it. It was embarrassing. I didn't get help until i was a bit more comprehensive in the details. Believe me, we aren't the only ones who have experienced this issue. But it does help to be clear on what's happening. Maybe a med tweak would help. If you can learn behaviors to help, that's good, but start by being honest. "I'm dating " didn't really clue my pdoc in to just what I meant. I had to be specific about things like how reckless and impulsive I was, and then finally he got it. They know it's part of bipolar, so I don't think it's so shocking. 

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I 100% agree with you, because I am in that place right now where I'm realizing that in order to get the right help I need by being honest, open and just upfront about my past and present experiences, everything will make more sense to my pdoc, which will help him make more accurate decisions for my med treatment. I can't blame myself anymore, because this is part of the learning process with bipolar disorder. It puts us through things that we think is a part of our behaviors, bit really isn't. Then, we suffer the greatest consequences ever without telling a soul. Fear is what it is. But if this is the answer to eliminate fear, then I'm all there.

I won't deny that I'm nervous though. This won't be easy, bit the first step never is in terms of anticipation. What counts is the results of that first step and that's what I'm looking forward to.

 

2 weeks can't move along soon enough to see my pdoc and psych on the same day!!! Maybe my psych can prepare me for my pdoc appointment. So, there's a plan.

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