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Is this love or obsession?


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Love, definitely.

Okay, maybe you're holding a candle for this girl for an extra long while, maybe kinda conveniently keeping others at bay by remembering a girl you can't have, but still very sweet and noble and honest about what you want(ed) to do but know that you aren't capable of at this point.

But I wouldn't call it obsession. Obsession would be your entire post as is, plus "so I guess I'll just park my car outside her house again tonight, since I know if she sees me waiting she'll leave her dirtbag husband and come running back to me, and, and..."

Now THAT would be obsession. Not to speak for all females, but I for one can smell that scary shit a mile away, and I don't get that vibe from this post.

I've read a few of your other posts about not being in, or necessarily wanting to be in relationships, and this one was waaaay different.

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I think that you did really care for her and love her, regardless of whether it weas reciprocated. I suppose what you do with this could border onto obsession. You seem pretty able to accept (intellectually at least) that she is married and that there is no future for you both. I am so sorry that you are hurting, you are such a lovely bloke and you deserve a woman with all that you described and more. With time and distraction these feelings with fade a little and be more bearable.

(((hugs))))

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No I would never harrass or stalk her or anything like that.  Besides not being like that to begin with, I have to much respect for her as a person to do anything like that to her.  I just meant obsession the way Lily said...."holding a candle" for her for too long.  I've felt this way about women since her, and before her, but never for anywhere near this long.  The others dont mean anything to me anymore.  God there was something about her. 

I guess I was just looking for some encouragement about possibly finding a woman like her someday who WILL feel the same way about me.  And to get things off my chest of course.  Thanks for the replies folks. 

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I don't think there is anything that you can do, just give it time and keep a small hope that you meet someone who makes you fall even harder. But grief needs time to be felt, it's no good trying to convince yourself that you don't feel it when you do.

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Well thanks for the encouraging words everyone who's responded so far.  I think infatuation would've been a better word than obsession in my original post.  As in, is this love or just infatuation?  I looked up infatuate in the dictionary, and Mr Webster wasn't much help: 1 : to cause to be foolish : deprive of sound judgment

2 : to inspire with a foolish or extravagant love or admiration

WTF is an extravagant love??  I always thought infatuation meant something like "puppy love".  A quick temporary crush on someone.  I don't think this qualifies as a quick temporary crush.  Every other female I've ever had these kinds of feelings for, definitely.  But not this one.

Anyway, thanks again for the kind words folks. ;)

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I wish I could say something but I can't cos I feel like shit, but as soon as I feel better and able I will post again. I don't think that you're pathetic, weak or a loser, or unattractive. I think that you have a lot to offer a woman. I know that you can't see it but you do.

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Classic 'Nice Guy' syndrome bro.

It could be love and infatuation, they're not mutually exclusive, I wouldn't think.

It's at least love, though.

You do at least admit the painful parts....That's one step on the road to recovery.

Your best bet is possibly to work on how you feel about yourself first.

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Classic 'Nice Guy' syndrome bro.

It could be love and infatuation, they're not mutually exclusive, I wouldn't think.

It's at least love, though.

You do at least admit the painful parts....That's one step on the road to recovery.

Your best bet is possibly to work on how you feel about yourself first.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Heyas,

This happens to women too, all of the time.  Especially when we fall the wrong guys.  ;)

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