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2 treatments in... Number 3 in a moon

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There's no where to begin really. I've been diagnosed bi polar , mdd, add. Tried everything besides Maoi's. Gone to a month inpatient facility, you know the type they send stars and all. Two weeks in there crashed, two weeks out crashed. By crashed I mean woke up and felt dread inside. My triggers could be the usual, relationship, environment. But when things are well, the world can be burning and I'm the strong one. Tried to hold off for a month because I had a wedding coming up. Ended up in a psych hosp trying to get stabilized, Doctor knew me, looked at me and said I need ect. Luckily I had already had an evaluation. Left there and started ect last Wednesday. So far all I've noticed is I'm sensitive to caffeine, and detoxing off all these drugs causes a lot of insomnia. I know it takes many treatments to have an effect. So I guess this is starting my journal. I've read and watched everyone's videos. Some cause envy and some discourage. But this is where I'll start. Maybe it can help one person.

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I can't offer much advice because I've never had ECT, but I do know that ECT is the gold standard treatment for treatment-resistant depression. It is more effective than any antidepressant medication. If my cocktail ever stops working, I will go with ECT. I also know that it's tough to say much in the beginning of treatment, but that you should see results after 8 or 12 treatments.

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I have no experience but following along if you continue to journal, and i wish you all the best.

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I am another successful ECT story - it pulled me out of the depths of hell where I was losing a lot of weight because I wouldn't eat.  I did nine sessions inpatient, and the last three outpatient.  The memory loss sucked, but over time, things came back to me.  It's now been three years since ECT, and I think maybe only once this year has someone said something to me that I didn't initially remember.  And that's how it happened for me - someone would mention something that I didn't remember, but as they filled in the blanks and I had time to think about it, it would come back.  I just didn't always have the initial recall.

You might also inquire about adding ketamine to the cocktail.  I had either one or two doses just prior to my first two ECT procedures.  I was at a teaching hospital and they told me studies showed increased success rates for ECT when used in conjunction with ketamine.  Funny thing was, I remember very clearly them handing me the little cup to drink and my asking them what it was, then them explaining it to me.  I have a lot of memory loss around my stay in the hospital because I've had no contact with the people I encountered there to help prod my memory since discharge... but I remember being handed that ketamine the first time!

Honestly, sometimes I wish I'd done more journaling during that time so I could see how I improved.  And yet, I've also been told that severe, unrelenting depression alone can cause cognitive issues, too, so it may be a combination of both.  Anyway, when I shared my frustration over my memory loss with my pdoc after I got out of the hospital, she did point out to me that sometimes it's a blessed curse that we don't remember how bad we were before trying ECT.  And I usually trust what she says, so I don't dwell on it too much.  

Hope you're getting some relief.

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