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Let me preface this by saying I don't think my mental health team understands the severity of this / it's Impact on my life.

im worried about my neighbours... This has been a recurring issue, the last three houses I've lived in.

they watch me and talk about me, I sometimes think there are cameras planted in the holes in my bathroom ceiling and bedroom ceiling and the fire alarms. They want me to fuck up so they can report me for something.

I often hear people say, when I'm out, things that are related to what I'm thinking about - is this anxiety or a psychotic symptom? Eg I'll be looking at cereal and thinking about suicide, and I'll hear a snippet of someone's conversation say 'suicidal'. It's like my ears prick up.

is this more anxiety based or a psychotic symptom thing?

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

This is so weird. We've always had this about neighbors. Fear that they were listening in on me, would catch me out on stuff. Thought it was anxiety + abuse-shame-stuff.

We don't have it so much in our current place (Supported Living). Still get jumpy when people come past. Feel like we're being watched.

That said, with us it's a complicated matter: Combination of being trans, having 'shameful' kinks (not like, immoral/illegal stuff. Just stuff that'd make most people hate/side-eye/avoid you anyway, because People) & being disabled in modern Britain ("Disabled Faking Scroungers" rhetoric is running riot, has for the past decade or so. As in, posters, political speeches, TV shows, level of stuff.) means that.. Yeah. There are reasons for fearing neighbours in our situ. Just not to the extent. Therapist has said as much at times. Had times of sitting in the bathroom for ages just because it's where we can best eavesdrop on neighbours arguing, convinced it's about us. (punchline: they ended up hating/being abusive to us for other reasons, had to flee the apartment)

People finding out stuff about us is a fear with genuine roots. It's just.. To what degree is "That's understandable", to what degree is it "That's understandable with high anxiety" and to what degree is it "That's kinda getting into psychotic territory (given other psychotic symptoms present)"? I suspect the answer a) is mostly rhetorical and b) would a lot of time with a competent therapist.

But the point is, this is a behavior we had not considered abnormal past anxiety, and now are going "hm" about. So.. Thanks for the info.

Whisper

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