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Well finished my last session of tms yesterday... Cried all day long for no reason, so pretty discouraging. It'll take a bit I think to see if it helped; I thought it was but now I'm not so sure. If it's helped it's certainly not much.

also ramping up on lamictal (second attempt, higher dose) and I'm not at the full dose yet but no help there either.

pretty hard to feel any hope right now. I suppose it helps a little because there's not as much painful, bone-crushing, soul-sucking misery, but then every day is different. But I'm still in tears most days and sitting on the couch while my house turns to shit and my kids cry because I won't play with them... Still very little interest in anything. I've had brief moments when I feel better but fleeting, and it almost makes it harder when the misery comes right back.

maybe acceptance of some kind is all I can hope for at this point. The hardest part of that is what it does to the people in my life. My husband runs himself into the ground working six days a week AND picking up ALL the slack; my 4 year old daughter doesn't understand why mommy is always sad. She just told me, "Mommy, maybe when daddy comes home I can buy you a necklace and you won't be sad anymore." Poor sweet girl... I can't stand the effect this has on her... She deserves a mom, not a negligent babysitter.

just venting I guess... Don't know what else to do anymore.

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6 hours ago, climber47 said:

also ramping up on lamictal (second attempt, higher dose) and I'm not at the full dose yet but no help there either.

I think you need to give the lamictal (at the higher dose) some time to get in your system and as you continue to titrate up.

6 hours ago, climber47 said:

Still very little interest in anything. I've had brief moments when I feel better but fleeting, and it almost makes it harder when the misery comes right back.

What you write about sounds like when I am depressed.  I feel very similar.  Everything feels like a chore.  Everything.

 

 

 

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