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There goes my reason to live! Tw


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Okay a bit over reacting, but some of you may remember my post about feeling v suicidal a few weeks ago. Well, spouse just left me. So.

suddenly that Med increase doesn't seem like it helps.

im debating whether it's worth carrying on or not, I was already not in a good way.

reached out to professionals. Will try again in the morning, got to see if there's any reason left to carry on right?

 

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Wow, I'm so sorry. To say that it hurts so much is an understatement. I've been there and I can empathize.

But life is worth living. The pain you feel now won't last forever (even though it feels like it now). I'm not going to tell you that it will ever be completely ok, just that it will get much better over time as you start to reclaim your life for yourself.

There is reason to carry on. YOU are the main reason to carry on as are all the people who love you are reasons to carry on. If you feel unsafe, please go to the ER (or A&E) because right now is a dangerous time for you (I know this from experience). When you add a major life stressor on top of depression the result is a very dangerous period. Please take care of yourself, be good to yourself (you deserve it), and go to the ER before doing anything that cannot be undone.

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3 hours ago, Kona said:

Thank you both for the thoughtful replies. Mental health team aren't getting back in touch so I'm seeing a general doctor later. Hoping they might have some ideas.

Good, I am glad you will see a doctor. Let us know how it goes!

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The dr said she would contact the mental health team for me. She seemed quite concerned but the MH team don't?

 they haven't contacted me yet.

just don't know what to do.

Edited by Kona
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No contact from the team themselves. Had the crisis people call me but they caught me when I had been asleep so I didn't say much. Going to call them again later because this is ridiculous and I don't really feel able to be safe.

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I think I sort of did an attempt but it didn't work obviously so maybe my heart wasn't in it. Either that or I'm too shit to succeed at hurting myself properly.

It was more self harm with intent but I feel like shit and I don't exactly want to die like I did but I want the pain to go.

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The pain sucks big time. I wish I knew how to make the pain go away for you ... I just know that time will help immensely. That's easy for me to say (I thought that when I was told it), but it is true.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

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That really sucks that you have such crappy support. I'm really sorry about that.

Please, if you feel unsafe, go to the ER/A&E. Sometimes you've got to do all you can to demand help and support. It shouldn't be like that, but I guess it is.

Feel free to come here for support. We are 100% behind you. If you need some real-time peer support, go into chat and tell them you are in crisis and need to talk. Also, feel free to start a blog and blog out your feelings. When I was going through my divorce, I wrote and wrote and wrote, in a journal and online, and it really helped. It helps to know there are people who can relate to you so that you don't have to bear the pain alone.

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6 hours ago, jt07 said:

That really sucks that you have such crappy support. I'm really sorry about that.

Please, if you feel unsafe, go to the ER/A&E. Sometimes you've got to do all you can to demand help and support. It shouldn't be like that, but I guess it is.

Feel free to come here for support. We are 100% behind you. If you need some real-time peer support, go into chat and tell them you are in crisis and need to talk. Also, feel free to start a blog and blog out your feelings. When I was going through my divorce, I wrote and wrote and wrote, in a journal and online, and it really helped. It helps to know there are people who can relate to you so that you don't have to bear the pain alone.

Jt is a bit more eloquent than me right now, so I'll second all of that ^ and send you strength. You can and will get through this. 

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