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:Trigger::Trigger::Trigger:

Im 44 and having been self harming since I was 14. Im going through a really tough time right now

I feel like crap, I want/don't want to cut. I want to [edited to remove specific method]. I so sick and tired of feeling like this. I'm nobody, just a big mistake, I have nor will I ever make a mark on this world. Yes I know my "family" will be upset, because it looks good for them but I know secretly be happy/relieved. The thoughts just keep pushing at me to kill myself and get it over with. I want to, I want this over. I'm tired of fighting a losing battle ever step I get forward I'm dragged 4 back.
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Hi dark angel24.

I'm so sorry to hear you're in such a shitty place right now. And I'm glad you said something here. The tough part about self harm is that on some level it works or we wouldn't be drawn back to it. Even though it definitely makes things worse in the long run.

I'm glad you are here and I hope you find some support both here and with people in your physical reality as well.

I edited out the specific way that you mentioned to self harm/try to be dead. Please take a look at this forum's "before you post here" guidelines just as a reminder of all that.

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