dark angel24 Posted September 7, 2016 Share Posted September 7, 2016 Ive been dealing with this for over 30 years and I'm just so tired of it all. The pushing people away, the self harm, the eating disorders, the fact that I can't even look at myself in the mirror cause I see failure. I don't like my picture taken, its not that I don't have support but I'm always thinking there just trying to be nice or they have to feel that way because they love me, I can't take a compliment. I feel like a mistake, a nobody. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laceratus Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 I also feel this way. I hope you get a chance to get your head above water soon! - It's usually the times I don't feel like this that keep me going - holding on to those memories and trying to remember they are real. Your memories of better times are real and you deserve them, and I wager you shall have more of the these experiences again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tryp Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 I hear you. It fucking sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bellatrix Posted September 8, 2016 Share Posted September 8, 2016 Yeah, I hear you. I'm getting into a relationship right now and I am worried as hell that I'm going to do something to wreck it. Trying to just live in the moment when things happen is hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yunglegend16 Posted September 27, 2016 Share Posted September 27, 2016 I can somewhat understand what you're going through. I have been going through a lot. Sometimes I feel emotionless and empty. Its not a good feeling. Its almost zombie-like. Other times I can be extremely aggressive, irritable, and hypersensitive. I don't think I am a BPD sufferer, but I have self-harmed a few times before. Its not a good thing for someone to do at all. I used to be depressed a lot, but Im so numb now that the only emotions I have are impulses, adrenalin rushes in the lyrics I get lost in and the constant running I do, pleasure from all the cigarettes I smoke, anger, and frustration. Im just unempathetic. I can't connect emotionally even to members of my own family, I have to live in such a toxic household environment and I hate that. I used to be so depressed about the fact that I had been so lonely and had no one to talk to. My lack of openness to others and my unattractiveness and unattractive behavior werewhat held me back so much. I was corrupted in the mind and still am today. I don't know how to get right with God. Im getting to where I miss crying because I just cant feel anymore. I feel like Johnny Cash in his song "Hurt". It fits me perfectly. I am too numb to express hardly any emotions besides my basic impulses and anger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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