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I'm so scared


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I broke my leg a month ago and I'm still laid up.  I can't bear weight on it and I have to manuever around with a walker.

I think I'm going either hypomanic or into a mixed state.  My good leg is moving constantly, I keep thinking about death, I'm terrified I'm going to fall and get hurt again, and I'm getting very irritable.  I'm sure part of it is boredom and frustration with my limited mobility, but these scary thoughts won't leave me alone.  I am afraid I am going to develop some serious phobias about getting hurt, and I've always been very squeamish and afraid of bodily mutilation anyway.

I can't get ahold of my pdoc.  I keep worrying that there is no afterlife and that death is just THE END.  I am so terrified of that thought that it colors everything in my life. 

I cut down on the hydrocodone (for pain) and maybe that was keeping me mellow and sane???

I know this is rambly but that is how my mind is working right now.  HELP!

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Have your been able to leave a message for your pdoc? Has anyone given you any indication when he'll get back to you?

If you can't get ahold of your pdoc, can you call your regular doc? Or another pdoc? Does your pdoc have someone else on call?

I wish I knew what would help. If things are bad, get to an ER, okay?

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My pdoc sucks.  He's not even a doc, but a nurse practitioner.  He never calls back no matter what.  So I'm on my own.

I am feeling better, still very skittish about moving about with my walker; even more scared of after I'm healed this summer that I'll break something else or be killed in some kind of accident. 

I really think I may have PTSD.  Could this be?

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