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Weirdest Date Ever!


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A guy I was not intimate with decided to try to kiss me. I said I didn't like him like th at. Then a few moments later he tried to touch my breasts. I said NO. Then he grabbed my nether region (pants on, naturally). I screamed, yelled, had a temper tantrum, ran him out of my apartment,  and threw shit at him from my window as he got into his car. I hit his head with a Furby he was kind enough to give me.

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That is pretty bad. I nominate the blind date that I had with a radio DJ who outside of his show was so shy he could barely venture a word (what a looong date that was) or the one where the otherwise normal seeming guy leaned in close, kissed me and....

gave me a wedgie, before whispering 'I bet you find that hot don't you, you sexy bitch?'

;)

I ran like the wind!

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Gee this one is easy for me. Two are recalled. One was the gal who said she was a few pounds overweight. I was sitting at Starbucks waiting when this gal who almost could not get through the door walks in. Yep thats her.

Another. Gal asks if I have objections to visible tattoos. Nope I don't. Meet her and visible to her was her lightening bolt tattoo from her temple to her jaw. WTF???

One of my GF told me of a date she had where the guy was supposed to be about 56, he walks in caring O2, looking more like 74. Right after the order was taken , he falls sound asleep. Head drops to table. Order comes and she decides what the hey, eat and leave him with the bill. So she did.

Another gal told me of her second date with this guy. hey go to his cabin and she is doing her homework(school teacher). He walks up to her completely nude save for glaxed donuts over his erection! I had to ask her how many? I mean like a dozen or just three!  lol

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Blind date - after hours of relentless talking about himself, he dropped me off I casually go to exit the vehicle to which he violently grabs my neck french kisses me then says that was dinner now for dessert - I got the hell out of there in no time and washed my mouth out!    Blah.  Never forget that one.  And he couldn't understand why I refused to ever speak to him again ;) Duh.

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Another one(two actually). I had met this gal and we became intimate. After being intimate, she tells me that she is not interested in any relationships, but could I 'service' her when she needed it! And if that is not bad enough, the very next gal I took out said almost the exact same thing.

I got to the point where I realized that I must have some sort of mark on my forehead that the women can see and I can't.

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well for starters, nice shot with the furby loon-a-tik.

i've only been on one date. it was when i was 18. a blind-date/double date with my friend, other friend and her friend (my date). nothing major happened, but neither of us was even remotely attracted to the other from the moment we laid eyes on each other so we basically ignored each other for the entire date.

grouse.

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This guy took me out to dinner and was very nervous. How could I tell? He kept stuttering (which I found rather endearing) and scratching his ass absentmindedly--as in, LIFTING his ass-cheeks (one at a time, of course) OFF the chair and digging in (this I found somewhat less endearing than the stuttering).

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These are so funny! I especially like the one with the donuts around this guy's erection. What, did he want you to eat them off? Or the wedgie one?! Hot sexy underwear up the butt, huh?!

I have another. I finally scored a date wtih a hot guy who worked at the food court of my local mall (I was 22 and  he was 21). We went out and my sister came along since we agreed it was a "friends" thing. He kept trying to get me alone. I didn't want that so I wouldn't go off with him. he made a comment in the movie rental store that he could not afford me because I'm "too expensive". THEN when I did go for a walk with him, HE CONFESSED THAT HE WANTED TO MAKE ME MAKE HIM WORSHIP MY FEET!!!  I just about died. I mean, if my established lover said that to me, we could talk about it. But a first "friends" date??!! I took him home in silence (with my sister clutching the cell phone in case of an emergency) and never called him again...

...until one day, he had the nerve to call me...

I was dating a lot, so I couldn't really recognize my boyfriends' voices on the phone. It was this guy. He asked me to *guess* who it was, so I started down my list of suitors. He got reeeealy mad at that point, accused me of being "too expensive", and hung up.

Did he think I was a call girl or something?! What's with the "expensive" thing?

Anyway, my sister and I got a real kick out of this one!

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Sorry about jumping into this a bit late, but I read this thread and one person jumped out in my mind almost immediately.

So I go out with this girl, first date she jumps in my lap and kisses me.

This in and of itself is enough to freak me out cause I have issues with people I don't know touching me.

Then she pulls out a razorblade and says 'You know what makes me hot?'

I'm just about totally freaked out at this point and ask 'What?'

She giggles and says 'Blood.'

I got the hell out of there ASAP.

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Looney

" I hit his head with a Furby he was kind enough to give me."

Well, lucky for him he didn't give you a pet rock!

Hawkeye,

"walks up to her completely nude save for glaxed donuts over his erection! "

He probably never got over that toy he had as a kid - where you stack these little donut shaped rings onto a post. Were his donuts all the same size?

"but could I 'service' her when she needed it! And if that is not bad enough, the very next gal I took out said almost the exact same thing."

Do you think it was that "Chevron" on your collar? Maybe they thought it was a secret sign! Like how many earrings a guy has and which ear he wears them in!

Me?

Nothing to report.

Had one date (that was an actual "date".) Pathetic, not wierd. Me doing the pathetic-ing! ;)

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Hawkeye, I think you might find this amusing...

From Maureen Dowd's new book Are Men Necessary?

The June 2005 issue, with Jessica Simpson on the cover, her cleavage spilling out of an orange croqueted halter dress, could have been June 1970. The headlines are familiar: "How to turn him on in 10 words or less," "Do You Make Men M-E-L-T? Take our quiz," "Bridal Special," Cosmo's stud search and "Cosmo's Most Famous Sex Tips; the Legendary Tricks That Have Brought Countless Guys to Their Knees."

(Sex Trick 4: "Place a glazed doughnut around your man's member, then gently nibble the pastry and lick the icing... as well as his manhood." Another favorite Cosmo trick is to yell out during sex which of your girlfriends thinks your man is hot.)

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And this stuff is supposed to get a guy excited?

Well, I guess it depends on what type of guys "Cosmo Girls" are after.

No wonder they're not after me. ;)

(I'm soooo disappointed.)

(And can you imagine how fat those thin Cosmo Girls would get if they went around eating donuts off all the guys? :) )

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MY 200th POST!

On the donut deal, a gal related that one to me(I'm a guy). I just had to ask how many where there? I mean like if he had a dozen... holy cow. One to two....

Another interesting date I had when I first divorced. I ahd been emailing this gal for about three weeks, it was getting pretty intimate and graphic. Met her for lunch then asked her to go to my farm one evening. A nice walk in the woods.  Well wel get there and as soon as we get out of the car she decides to do a strip tease for me. Right in the middle, she trips over something and falls into a thistle(A very thorny weed). All she had on at the time was her panties.  Well needless to say the moment was gone.

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Well, one day at work I had a cute girl ask me out to a comedy club.  Nice!  Had a good time; went to a movie another time. Made one date several days in advance and then that day touched base with her to confirm and got a blank look. She had no idea what I was talking about.  Hmmmm.

She raved about a Jewish deli that had the best Reuben sandwiches in town. So we made a brunch date. I rang the bell and knocked on her door with no answer. Her jeep was parked in front.  I checked the laundry room and back for more door knocking, without result. I go across the street and phone her with no response.

I went home and got hold of her late that evening. She was obviously asleep and sounded awful.  At first she didn't acknowledge the date, but then explained that her friend (female) came into town and they went drinking.  ?!  No apology.

Shortly thereafter, some friends and I were planning our vacation to go snorkeling in the Florida Keys. She asked if she could join us and made a firm committment for dates, price, travel arrangements.    A week or so later I checked with her to update her on changes and got another blank look. She denied having knowledge of the trip, and our conversation.

We had one more planned date and blank look the day of. It also came out that the matching ring/necklace set with her name (ring worn on left hand third finger) which she assured me was just a "gift from a friend" was given to her by the drinking buddy.

Finally into my naive young head dawned the concepts of lesbian, alcoholic blackouts, and serious memory deficits.    I didn't ask her out any more.

You asked for "Worst Date" stories, but truly, we had more Un-dates than dates. ;)

A.M.

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Shortly after my separation and my coming-out-to-myself, I met this guy online  with whom I shared an interest in science fiction.  He invited me to come and visit him at his home about two hours away.  He asked me to call on the telephone, and the resulting 1.25-hour call consisted of non-stop nervous stream-of-consciousness about his favorite sci-fi.

I am very poor at picking up clues, so I agreed to pay him a visit.  He said he thought I would enjoy seeing his collection of scifi and horror film memorabilia.

His bungalow, on the outside, betrayed no hint of what I was to encounter inside.  His "collection of memorabilia" occupied every square inch of horizontal surface in the house, and obscured most of the walls.  Name a sci-fi or horror film or TV series - he had a doll, model, figuine, poster, mask, or movie prop facsimile for it.  There was no free space anywhere except half his sofa and his bed.  But lurking over the foot of his bed was a seven-foot pumpkin-headed ghoul from some fright flick or other, that presumably watched over him as he slept and greeted him upon waking.

I'm not usually claustrophobic, and adore museums, but this was orbitally over the top.  We went to dinner, which provided some relief, but then came back and he wanted to watch an episode of Doctor Who.  He popped it in the VCR, pushed aside some of the objects on the couch, and we sat down.  Through the course of the show, he kept glancing at me and grinning giddily.  Then he started edging closer.

I did a classic "Oh - look at the time!" and left.

And I'm a Doctor Who devot

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Not so much a date as an unreal request for a date.  A guy at work was following me around the office quite a bit, expressing his affection through such tokens as a photocopy of a Calvin and Hobbes poem illustrated with a drawing of eyes on his mom's ass.  I was politely rejecting his overtures.  After about a week and a half of this, he asked me if I wanted to go out sometime, and, um, maybe come to his place, um, and, um, watch Dr. Who.  I shot him down.  He turned away with teary eyes never spoke to me again. 

This was Prom Day at work.  I was wearing a floor-length dress, heels, and make-up (Cute Girl).  He was wearing a tweed jacket with leather patches and thick-rimmed black glasses held together by tape on the bridge (Geek).  I alternately felt awful and laughed my ass off.  Surreal....

(I actually do like scifi.)

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Not a date, but definitely a weird guy story.

So I'm dancing at this club, and I start dancing with this random guy.  It's really crowded on the dance floor, so we're definitely touching, but nothing too sexual.  Then he leans in and asks me..."Did you just have an orgasm?"

Um...no!  <runs away screaming>

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I was set up on a blind date.  A guy I worked with had a friend who hadn't been out on a date in a long time.  I emailed her and I agreed to meet her at a restaurant. 

She met me on time.  She was very nervous.  We had just ordered our food when she suddenly got up and excused herself to the rest room.  She never came back...

After waiting about 20 minutes, the waiter came out with the food.  I told him that the other person (my date) had just left.  I talked him into just paying for my food. 

I went home and emailed her.  She emailed me back that she was so nervous that she wet herself and fled home.  And I thought I had a soothing personality...

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I met a guy at a dance club.  We were definately attracted and hung out until closing. After the club closed he couldn't find his buddies that brought him so I offered him a ride home.  All the way home he keeps talking about how hot anal sex is and I kept saying it just wasn't for me, not gonna happen.  Then we get to his house and he insists that I come upstairs and experience it.  This is supposed to be a smooth invitation?  I asked if he liked receiving anal sex and he completely flipped out.  Exactly, I said, and got the hell out of there.

I just have to add that some people like that sort of lovemaking and that is great for them, but to each his/her own.  It isn't for everybody.

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