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I always feel like I'm faking it. There isn't one part of my day where I don't feel or hear someone say I'm faking it all. The voices are always my own, though. but I don't control them. I never have. They are different versions of me that have completely different motives, morals, views, liking, hates, and personalities. But they are all me. And they get turns taking over my body. Is this schizophrenia? Am I faking it? Am I just completely crazy? I really don't know. I just go throughout life like this every day. I have to keep a journal to tell future me what I have done, because if I don't he will never know. I cant remember the most basic of things. I find drawings of weird things in my notes that I don't remember drawing. I find notes directed to myself; threatening me. I go some nights never sleeping and spending the night on my bathroom floor. I have random flashes of lightheaded-ness and vision blurs. I've recently developed a tick where I like smirk. I will watch myself do it in the mirror and I'll yell at myself to stop, But of course I don't. He now has just went out and has told people I'm Schizophrenic. How can he trust them with something that personal. They view me differently now, I know they do. How could they not? 

Edited by Schizfriz
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I agree with CNO ... Finding a psychiatrist (pdoc) would be a really great idea, based on what you've written, to get a diagnosis so you can be treated properly, and you won't be struggling so much.  It sucks to be going through this every day.

I'm glad you are keeping a journal.  That may be really helpful when describing what you are going through if you speak to a pdoc or tdoc. 

 

6 hours ago, Schizfriz said:

He now has just went out and has told people I'm Schizophrenic. How can he trust them with something that personal. They view me differently now, I know they do. How could they not? 

Who is "he"/ "they" that you are referring to?

 

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