Reira Posted September 30, 2016 Share Posted September 30, 2016 (edited) I don't really know who I am. I used to, I really did. God I miss it. I was messed up then, but not like this. Then I had my two babies, back to back, and I broke. Nervous breakdown, psychotic episodes, severe anxiety, mania....it's been called different things. I get by, I put all the energy I have left into parenting, which is most important to me due to the abuse and trauma I endured growing up. I'm not my parents and I'm doing all I can to prevent mental illness in my children, although my oldest seems not well adjusted. We aren't sure if she inherited me and my family's severe anxiety disorder or my husband's autism. Or bless her heart, both. Sorry, tangent. I'm 33, female, married for 7 years and have two daughters ages 2 and 3. Im a neurotypical married to a high functioning autistic man with ADHD and major depressive disorder. It's hard. I've been diagnosed by my new pdoc with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder and personality disorder NOS. my previous pdoc believed me to be bipolar type 2 based on my horrid experience all last year. I'm not over it and how terrible it was. She believed I was rapid cycling. Im not sure what I am. I have these episodes that are troubling but I can't explain to my pdoc. I think I occasionally suffer minor psychotic episodes. Last year I was a mess. He thinks I just have severe anxiety. Currently I am newly on Trintellix after switching from Lexapro that I was on for a decade. I'm also taking lamictal 150mg for mood swings/depression and just took my second dose of Rexulti. I was on Abilify from about October last year to June this year. It made me so restless and bored it was miserable. I've been severely depressed since June, so I'm thinking it helped my depression. Life is hard right now. Glad I found these forums. Glad there are folks that get it. I seem to be surrounded by "normal folks", other than my family, and it's frustrating and isolating. Edited September 30, 2016 by Reira Pressed save too soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gearhead Posted September 30, 2016 Share Posted September 30, 2016 Welcome, Reira. We're glad to have you! There are a lot of people here who can relate to you. Have you found the parenting board yet? If you have any question about how the site works, please feel free to PM me or one of the other mods. Gearhead Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reira Posted September 30, 2016 Author Share Posted September 30, 2016 1 minute ago, Gearhead said: Welcome, Reira. We're glad to have you! There are a lot of people here who can relate to you. Have you found the parenting board yet? If you have any question about how the site works, please feel free to PM me or one of the other mods. Gearhead Thanks gearhead! I saw it, but haven't ventured in because I'm afraid it will trigger me. I'm currently it seems pretty emotionally unstable and have many triggers. Parenting has been hard for me, and my two daughters are mirror images of me and are like I was as a child, and I've been having flashbacks of my childhood. I hear my parents in my head, and remember things I had forgotten. Pretty bad things. So, it's a rough subject for me hell, it's probably what's wrong with me! Anyway, thanks for the welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reira Posted September 30, 2016 Author Share Posted September 30, 2016 Oh, other less depressing thing about me: I'm a nerd with a degree in IT that I've never used. I love books, trees, and toads. I love children and animals. I love Star Wars, Harry Potter, and Hunger Games. I love gaming, particularly RPGs, simulation, and Nintendo. I'm obsessed with Animal Crossing. I guess I'm a bit childlike. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gearhead Posted September 30, 2016 Share Posted September 30, 2016 Verily you are among your own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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