Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Anxiety makes me feel unlovable


Recommended Posts

I'm so anxious all of the time.  Mostly about work (I freak out when I make stupid mistakes) but also about other stuff too.  I'm a major "worry wart."  This makes me feel that no one will ever want to be my boyfriend.  I have a lot of guys show interest in me, but it never seems to go anywhere.  I just don't have confidence in myself, and knowing that I'm an anxious mess doesn't make me feel attractive or fun ;)   It makes me very insecure about "being myself," because i am so full of worries that I wish I could hide better.

I want to change and I'm working on it, both with a therapist and self help books.  But is it possible that someone could love me as I am?  For those of you with anxiety, have you been able to find relationships? 

It seems to me that people are usually so much calmer than me, and just can't understand my anxious nature...but I'm anxious because I was always yelled at as a child so I was always "on edge" and trying not to get in trouble.  So in a way, I feel that my anxiety was a reasonable response to a difficult situation. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It seems to me that people are usually so much calmer than me, and just can't understand my anxious nature...but I'm anxious because I was always yelled at as a child so I was always "on edge" and trying not to get in trouble.  So in a way, I feel that my anxiety was a reasonable response to a difficult situation.

sounds like a totally rational response.

you learned a behavior as a response to a bad situation.

you may want to try CBT, it can help you learn now to not knee-jerk response like you did as a child.

as far as being loveable, yes.  i have bad anxiety and my husband understands.  granted he has anxiety issues too.

are you seeing a psychiatrist (any meds?) or a therapist? 

meds can help with anxiety, but when a lot of your anxiety is the result of a learned response to a stressful childhood, often CBT, EMDR, biofeedback, etc can help you learn new ways of responding to the world around you.

good luck

penny

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have anxiety and I am loved.  Sometimes when my anxiety is really getting the best of me I think my husband and kids would be better off without such a freak of a wife/mother but my husband has made it clear that he disagrees with that.  My sister has anxiety way worse than I do and based on both of our experiences, I think that the hardest thing for a person with anxiety to accept is they are loved and not run away from it. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hi devon:

  Yup. I know the anxiety of a new relationship with anxiety. You are doubly self conscious.

  Sounds like you are working through your issues. If you meet a guy, you really like, tell him. Explain what is up at certain times. If he is worth it, he'll stick around.

  The key to finding the right guy is liking yourself. And you are striving for that. So, yes. You can find love and most likely will.

  I had an anxiety disorder and didn't know it when I married my now husband. Events made it come out, and we deal with it. He listens to where I am and what I am going through. It works for us.

  Good luck, and I suggest EMDR. It is fast and really efficient.

Breeze

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I suffer from the same intrusive thoughts. I don't feel worthy of my new husband (who is WONDERFUL). I feel like he deserves a "normal" wife, not a "weirdo" like me. One who can work, go out with friends, do normal, everyday things without panicking. He is very, very supportive and kind about it and reassures me everyday. I empathize with your feelings. My best advice is to try not to dwell on the thoughts so much. They're irrational. When you find yourself thinking them try to distract yourself if you can. God bless.

Jacki

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...