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I work a boring retail job...I can't work more then 25hrs so I'm not completely consumed.

I freak out on register...it's really bad...I don't like dealing with money...esp counting cause my mind wonders when I do so.

The only good thing is that I get an employee discount

Sigh

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I used to be super smart but when I hit my late teens things started getting worse (I failed my college math entrance exam!). It's taken about 7 years but things finally started getting better this ye

My resume was described by my previous boss as "bizarre." Since college I've gone to grad school twice (didn't finish either time), lived in six states, and worked in everything from a terrible sales

I just got a little job delivering flyers and junk mail I'm looking for a part time job though

I am not able to work. I wish every day that I will become able to work again. It kills me. I used to work retail and did so for years (maybe like 8?). Now I am on SSDI. I couldn't even finish a college degree. So if I am able to work again it will be back to retail high stress. I don't do well with stress. And being paid minimum wage just to be treated like shit and a doormat by customers who view themselves as better than you is not a good work environment. I'm stuck and it sucks. I have no real experience or job skills. I want things to be different so bad. I want to work, I would even return to retail if I could handle it. 

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My job was bagging groceries and herding grocery carts in the parking lot and then stacking a bunch at a time and lining them up perfectly at the front of the store.  Some stores don't let woman do this job because it's so physical but I found myself doing it a hell of a lot.  In fact, one day during a particular summer, there were stampedes of customers in and out all day and I was the ONLY person there with the ability to man the carts and so I stacked and pushed and steered carts in the high 90 degree weather and scorching sunlight for almost 8 hours without stopping.  I was basically a puddle of sweat moving carts around.  I also was assigned to do some cleaning and inventory from time to time.  

Yes, my MI did rear it's ugly head and in more ways than one.  I ended up leaving the job.  

I did that job for 2 and a half years.  I started right before I turned 26 and it was over before I turned 29.  

I've had other different jobs too.  I worked for my Aunt a couple times.  For two or three weeks I came in and she showed me how to paint her Raku pieces- like which color glaze goes where and how many coats on each section.  i was glazing her handmade ceramic frames and preparing them for the kiln by doing the glaze however she wanted it.  Once she showed me technique and all that she'd give me a bundle of frames to complete in the same fashion.  it saved her time.  I was also turning out the clay sometimes which i remotely remember but mostly forget now.  The other job I did for my Aunt was being her store keeper and clerk for a month.  

The grocery store job i kept the longest out of all them.

I ended up quitting all these jobs because of lack of motivation and in the case of the grocery store job, it was my overall sanity.  

My parents bought me a place so I am really, really LUCKY.  I worry that when they die I and my older brother is watching over me he might want me outside of my comfort zone and insist I work even if we are ok financially.  I think my parents will be around for a long time though.  I also don't want to be uprooted from my [present home.  

My parents do understand mental illness very well and my mom sees a psychiatrist too but they get very angry and negative when i experience symptoms despite their intelligence.  It's not lack of understanding- it's lack of self-control.  When they visited me the only time I was inpatient in my entire life, I was terrified and humiliated by their tone and demeanor.  They can be very unforgiving sometimes.  

When I'm sane and taking meds they are sane too, so there's that.  

I have one friend who is payed to hang out with me (I know it sounds pathetic) during the weekdays and because I don't drive she takes me everywhere I need to go.  She keeps me company and to be honest is one of the nicest people I've ever known.  My parents have someone who cleans their house and she is also my dear friend.  

I don't hang out with any friends from grade school or high school but I am friends with some of them on Facebook.  

The thing is, the the grade school friends knew me when I had a lot of potential and didn't have the issues I have now.  When i was a kid, my parents didn't need to pay people to be my friend. I did see a psychologist and my friends knew and for the most part people thought my parents were just overly worried about normal things.  That is partly true.  I was generally a really high energy and clever child who was well-liked by peers and adults.  

I know now that being a popular and well-rounded kid does not translate into being a productive adult all the time.

 

 

 

 

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4 hours ago, TakeAChillPill said:

My job was bagging groceries

When I used to work at a grocery store in high school and the beginning of college, I LOVED bagging groceries because I was so good at making everything fit like a puzzle into a bag.  And it was a challenge with every big order.  I loved that.

4 hours ago, TakeAChillPill said:

and so I stacked and pushed and steered carts in the high 90 degree weather and scorching sunlight for almost 8 hours without stopping.  

Holy crap ... I've done carts before, but damn, for 8 hours in 90 degree weather with a lot of sun coming down on you ... I give you a lot of credit for that.  It isn't easy to do carts all day, let alone in 90 degree weather under the sun.

Great work, TACP!

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I work full time. I have sick time accrued, and have taken time without saying it was for MI. I live alone. My marriage ended partly due to my MI, and I've lost friends due to it, so currently I keep it to myself and my remaining friends don't know anything except that I have a history of depression. It's the manic part I don't discuss. I'm too old for parental support. I have insurance through work but I fear ever losing that and having worse coverage. My job would be stressful for some but it's less stressful than my previous job, and it's a type of stress I can cope with. I've never attended MI support groups. I stopped therapy years ago due to what I'll just call misguided therapy, since that's a whole other story. I guess I've been able to function despite MI and I'm grateful for that, but it hasn't been easy. 

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 I work a high stress job, been with the company 28 years.  It was discovered once I got a real DX about 3 years ago that I had the talent of disassociation. Worked well for just about anything. I didn't know it was an issue until I started therapy.  I had been doing it since I was a kid.   Not uncommon coping mechanism when raised in an alcoholic home. Basically I could watch myself work when I  was unable to deal with life. I also have the advantage of having a semi flexible work schedule.  Meaning I can work from home.  When I am very very symptomatic I use it for the times I cannot be part of the world as it is. I also have some privacy at work and have had days that I sobbed all day. Also have days when I am climbing the walls.  I also have an assistant to help me.  She knows I am BP.   She is very protective. I am also really lucky that I work in a mostly male field. They are sorta scared of me.   lol  I also am very very good at what I do, so I am given some leeway

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well my first post was too long and got deleted. 

I am married and have two grown sons.  My husband deals with my depression better than mania.  But he gets frustrated by me a lot. I have a few friends that know, but I would not turn to.  Tdoc and Pdoc are the only ones that really know about my stuff.  I believe anyone else would just reject me.  They work well together and I am very lucky I can see them often as needed.  They work hard to keep me out of the hospital.  I am very fortunate to be able to do this. 

This past Monday and email went out at work stating our insurance carrier is going to chain.  I went into a panic, started sobbing.  I couldnt find my Tdoc or Pdoc on my plan as participating doctors.  I had gotten to a point that I was gonna try to just pay.  I cant lose them, I am very very reliant on them.   I found them on the list once my tears cleared. 

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me again.   Answering your question regarding coping.   As I stated before I have had long term disassociating issues.  

I also have an issue with self medicating.  I have a lot of addition issues that I relied on at my sickest.  So do you call that coping?  Not really........ Once I got a med cocktail that came close to helping I was sorta able to quit a lot of things.  To be honest I stills really struggle with my addiction issues. 

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I have worked full time all my adult life. I had a career in IT. I am just recently retired. I road on works insurance and now have to get Obamacare.At my last job as a Network Administratortook I took several FMLA's and often ate up all my sick time. I live independently, all my adult life, I am a homeowner

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I remember working in a grocery store, and pushing carts was probably my favorite part of it, because I would be able to work by myself, without being bothered by anyone. When I bagged groceries, I would invariably run off at the first mention of cleanup in aisle such and such, because I much preferred mopping up spills over bagging groceries, for similar reasons.

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I don't work. I am on long term disability benefits. Right now I'm living at my dads but he doesn't want me here so I'm basically homeless. I have worked in the past. Two times for about 6 months each time. A supermarket then a cafe. I was functioning better then. The main reason I can't work is that I sleep far too much and don't feel able to be awake at any particular time. Some times  I go to bed and sleep twelve hours and can get up, other days I can't wrench myself from the bed for 20-30 hours. I am not in good control of myself, I suppose.

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My resume was described by my previous boss as "bizarre." Since college I've gone to grad school twice (didn't finish either time), lived in six states, and worked in everything from a terrible sales writing job to a fishery in Alaska. I've held down my current job for 2.5 years (a personal record) and am constantly battling burnout. But I get health benefits finally so I can afford my meds and doctor's visits. So yay to that.

Has anyone here ever tried working freelance? The pay is terrible, but you can work naked if you really wanted to.

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2 minutes ago, Closure said:

I would hate to work freelance, because I wouldn't be motivated to get showered and get out of the house every weekday, and I would have a lot less structure to my life.

Same here. I am not motivated enough to market myself for freelance work. It just keeps my income up outside my regular job.

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I have worked at my company for 15 years. It's very stressful but I managed to rarely ever miss a day. Sometimes going years without missing a day. 2 years ago I went on short term disability through my work insurance and then to long term. I still pay my benefits.  I can't lose them. I need them. I live with my husband and kids. It came to a point where I just couldn't fake it anymore and didn't want to do a poor job so I went on leave.

 

 

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I'm self employed so pick my own hours but I don't have a huge career.  In fact I'm surprised I've still got any work at all. I couldn't work a full time job where I had to go to an office every day. I've had sp much time off both for physical illness too recently. 

I rent out two rooms in my place so it takes the edge off money worries. Id have lost the house othwrwise. Although I still have big debts lol

I have very supportive friends and family so I'm very lucky. My parents don't really understand and I'm very careful who I tell. Certainly no one at work. 

Currently I'm doing ok. But it's been a long hard road that I'm only just beginning to recover from. 

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I am a warranty clerk for car dealerships. I have held other positions for our business group- cashier and accounting clerk. This one suits me best. I have a lot of independence, but more importantly I am alone. My boss is a big reason why I am successful here. He's fine with me and my hours as long as my work is done. Since the meds started, I am not the early bird I loved being. But he also lets me work through lunch so I can still leave at a decent time. Working with customers or working with others on a team or in a crowded office was a nightmare. Led to anxiety, drinking, cutting. Ugh. No thanks. I sit alone and work. Sometimes I goof off, but there's not a lot to do here, so I work. And I get to leave early for tai chi. I can work Saturday if necessary. Just having a boss who is accepting is great.

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i have a background in academia and have always worked in research. mostly as a research assistant or coordinator. always full time, although many of these positions (including mine) do not require a rigid schedule and capitalize instead on results delivered on time. so i don't always have to be at the office. or if i do, it's up to me when i am there.

i've had a more rigid schedule job, which coincided with my big breakdown, and i was fired for absenteeism. my boss knew about my disorder (as did all others) but at some point it stops being "what accommodations do you need" and becomes "i know you're sick but honestly you've been doing nothing for a long time now". which i get.

generally i am fully active at work 6-7 months a year, the rest of the time i am sick. i average 2-3 hospitalizations per year.

i live with my husband, we've renting an apartment.

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I have a high stress job and work very long hours (70+). Keeping busy is what keeps me sane.  People bouncing between jobs every 3 to 5 years is the norm here, so frequent turnover isn't unusual.  I dread interacting with clients when I'm navigating my way through a depressed phase.  I can't put on a fake smile like most of my peers.

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