Seasonal Affective and MDD double whammy

[Bostonian Aspergian]

I was on a great path towards remission. Things were going great until last October when I had a fight with a friend who cut me out. Then my relationship with my girlfriend was getting strained due to finances. Then I stated to ruminate about my lack of a social life and how lonely I am. Also the typical signs of fall which is the season when my father died 6 years ago. So throw in parental grief into the mix.

Then the days stated to get shorter. And I stated to regress back into a dark place with suicidal thoughts triggered by the thought of never being able to talk to my ex BFF ever again, my failings with making new friends, and unresolved issues with my late father. Also my former friend asked me not to come back to the peer support group he runs. I have friends and social supports from ex-friends peer group.

About a a week and a half ago, the energy and life force evaporated. I stated oversleeeping or having bad bouts of insomnia. I have zero drive or motivation. It's definitely SAD affecting my MDD. I don't want to be this depressed, cranky, morose, or irritable. What should I change in my treatment plans to turn things around? I see a therapist for CBT. I'm overdue for a med review and adjustment. Currently on 20 mg Prozac, 75 mg bupropion, 50 mg lamactil, 10 mg ambien. I'm also binge drinking to drown out the negative thoughts and emotions. 

This happens every year come October. What should I change in my meds or therapy to get my SAD and MDD back under control so that I can stop isolating myself, hiding in bed, drinking heavily, dreading living my life, and ruminating over cringe-worthy fails? I'm a mess. I worked so hard to get myself out of depression but all that work has evaporated. Help!

[malachite]

As I understand it, the typical treatment  for SAD is light therapy and/or vitamin D3. I suggest you talk to your doc about those options.

[jt07]

Mal is right. Ask your doctor about light therapy, and there is a blood test that can check your level of vitamin D3. As I understand it, these treatments are pretty effective.

[crazyguy]

I notice there is definitely some kind of seasonal pattern to my mood.  It is tanking now and it tanked this time last year as well... basically as soon as the days start to get shorter. 

As others have mentioned you could get a light box. I have one and try to use it every morning for half an hour or so.  Vitamin D supplements are cheap and maybe even a vitamin B complex supplement might help boost your energy as well. Cutting down on the alcohol might help you feel better too. 

Looking at your meds you are on Wellbutrin but only a low dose.   Maybe ask your doctor about increasing that as it is quite stimulating and might give you the energy you are looking for.