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I'm a fucking LOSER


Guest Registered Member too Embarassed

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Guest Registered Member too Embarassed

I'll tell you where.... online gambling in 2 fucking days!!!  7k US dollars on a credit card with a 5k Cdn limit.  The fucking bank has been leaving me messages, which I am ignoring. 

Hello?  Anyone else do anything this stupid?  I've done this a couple of times before and still paying for it. 

Aaaaaaaah, HATING.................  ;)

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I neglected to pay taxes for about 4 years, then got a new job, got it into my head that I must immediately go legit, so trotted down to the tax office and filed for 4 year and took NO DEDUCTIONS. I didn't know how much money I could save--even the nice lady at the tax office asked if I was sure I shouldn't deduct anything!

Ended up paying US$15,000, which, as the accountant I hired a year later to do my taxes said, would have been cut in AT LEAST half had I taken the time to do things right. He did thank me for my generous contribution to the ailing Japanese economy, tho!

My only suggestion is what my tdoc said to me tonight. You fucked up, but don't compound the problem by beating yourself up over it. I know it's hard to stop thinking FUCKFUCKFUCK I did it again! but tell yourself it's the MI acting up, vow to get yourself some help, then leave yourself alone, if you can.

Feeling for ya,

lily

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Anyone else do anything this stupid?

I am sure MANY of us have done things we consider "this stupid". I have recently done something myself that got away from me. I went to my p-doc, I admitted what had happened, and she has helped me to get a plan to get back on track.

I am guessing that you were losing and thought that "any minute now" you would win it back? But that obviously didn't happen.

Here's the deal. If this is a one time thing, then call your bank and tell them you need to work out payments. Don't ignore it, it won't go away.

If this has happened before, then you maybe have a gambling problem. I have a friend, ( and this is a friend not me) who would apply for every credit card she could so that she could gamble online. She and her husband eventually worked it out, but she never got therapy. She still has problems with it.

Gambling is a tough one to beat, I know this because I talked to my p-doc about my friend's problem. But you can do it. You just need to make up your mind and then step forward and become accountable for what you have done.

I was scared to death to tell my p-doc about my problem. But she was so cool about it. She, my husband, and I have a plan to make this right again. I feel so much better for turning my problem around. It was getting so out of my control, and it was eventually going to catch up with me.

Do the right thing. Tell someone, call your bank, and work your way back from this. It will only serve to make you nuts if you don't.

And, you are still a good person. My p-doc said this to me: "You know, many people have happen what happened to you. But not many people do what you are now doing, which is admitting it and turning it around"

Tell someone and get going in the right direction again. You will feel so much better.

Breeze

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I echo everything people here have said.

Here's the link for Gamblers Anonymous

And here is their Meeting Directory: http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/mtgdirTOP.html

Writing this reminds me that while I'm fortunate to not have the gambling bug, I have gotten myself into horrendous debt. Alas, there are no meetings of Debtors Anonymous in my area. However, the National Foundation for Credit Counseling has referrals of member agencies -- these are the genuine credit counselors, not the scam artists out for a buck with promises to "fix" your credit.

I've got plenty of work I need to do in this area. I hope for both our sakes we stop beating ourselves up and get active in repairing the damage. Being proactive and taking care of the problem has got to be better than sticking our heads in the sand while screaming obscenities at ourselves.

Take care,

revlow

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Hmmm.

Let's see.  Well, my grandmother gave each of her grandchildren 10k about four years ago.  Instead of using mine to move to a different city and take a course I had been planning to take for years,  I stayed put because my bf at the time didn't want to move. So I spent the money on living and didn't go to school or work.  Spent over a grand on new clothes (I was, however, still wearing tank tops from the 8th grade), but mostly, I wasted a few grand on smack.

That, I seriously regret. One of the very few things I regret in my life.

I cannot keep money.  If I have it I spend it.  And I had a lot so I felt I could afford to spend it on a seriously addictive drug.  I lost 40lbs, looked like shit, and ran out of money. 

Good times. 

Then I was fucked cause I had to get over the drug use - never did so much that I needed methadone treatment or anything, but I eventually developed a $50 a day dragon chasing habit which is a shitload of money and a horrible waste.

I think those of us with MI have highly addictive personalities.  Especially when combined with the grand lack of common sense when manic.  NO common sense whatsoever.

I have to agree with Breeze.  Don't just leave it.  Work out a payment plan.  The bank would rather get a little bit at a time than none at all and you won't have to worry about interest piling up or any of that horrible shit.

Right now my addiction is playing solitaire, so at least I am only wasting time and not money. 

Take care of yourself.

And don't let it stress you too much.  What's done is done.  Every action is a lesson and all that jazz. ;)

~WendigoEater

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I have a friend, ( and this is a friend not me)...
I apologize in advance to the original poster, but I HAD to say this is making me laugh so hard I'm looking for Maddy's inhaler.

Gambling is a scourge. You know, I thought we were actually POOR growing up? I thought my Dad made like 8.00 an hour until I was about 17. I don't know where my head was. On the weed. But he made great money, and gambled and drank it all away.

I was bit by the addiction bug, but thank goddess the gambling bug left me alone. I won't even go in a Casino. I hate them that much, if I go to Atlantic City with friends going to conventions or just going for the day, I hang on the beach...or drive over to one of the nicer beaches in NJ.

I reel for you anonymous, but clearly you're not alone. I have a compulsive spending problem at times, but I buy shit that I can have and keep, not necessarily need, CDs, books, shoes, movies, shoes, did I say shoes?

Like Breeze and the others said, let it go, take steps to rectify the sitch and don't get anymore credit cards! S9

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I apologize in advance to the original poster, but I HAD to say this is making me laugh so hard I'm looking for Maddy's inhaler.

Again, a little off topic. Apologies in advance.....

EVERYONE says "uh, I had this "friend"....and then the friend turns out to be them. So that is why I said that. heh.

I am a terrible gambler. My dear husband got me a gambling game on the computer. You play with fake money. When I saw how much I lost, I was like "whoa, this is NOT a good thing"

Cured me. And gambling machines are in every bar in this state. I don't go in them either, but MY FRIEND used to sit up all night after her bartending shift and play till dawn.

Ugh.

Breeze

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EVERYONE says "uh, I had this "friend"....and then the friend turns out to be them. So that is why I said that. heh.
I KNOW, silly...that's why it was so funny. My funny bone is ticklish today...alert the media!  ;) You are so honest and forthcoming I can't imagine you ever using that line, any of us for that matter, I guess we're too nutty to lie?

It just made me giggle.

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No more credit cards for me!  I use a Visa debit card, checks or cash.  I still bounce checks every once in a while, but I finally seem to be stable enough to at least not go further into debt.

I don't gamble (afraid of adding that addiction to everything else, the same way I wouldn't get all the way into coke or do heroin because I was scared of it).  My problem is compulsive shopping.  I've mostly replaced that with compulsive research about what I'm thinking about buying.  I recently had a little extra cash and spent 2 weeks doing research about espresso machines, then figured out what I really need is a new coffee grinder, then spent another week or so researching grinders before I finally bought one.  I research clothes, shoes, coffee makers, pots and pans and utensils, humidifiers, area rugs, cat food...I spend a lot of time in front of the computer, but it's a lot cheaper, and these days I can pay my bills.

My sympathy, though.  Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt.  Set up a payment plan and cut up the cards for now.  It may seem harsh but I find that if I don't try to trust myself with credit cards I don't get in trouble with them.  Otherwise it's only a matter of time before I'm maxed out.

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Yup.  Around 4-5 thousand dollars worth of credit card debt during college, which of course has jacked up my credit score for the next ten thousand years.  I couldn't even get a freaking GAS card up until a few months ago.  Geesh.  Have to get my father to co-sign on everything because of it...ug..it's no fun being forever in debt to your father who although is always there for me when I need him, is a giant jerk about reminding me constantly how much I owe him and loves loves loves using it to control me. ;)

You aren't alone.

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Let's just say my credit card debt equals some people's college loans, (hence why I have no more credit cards), I gave someone $10,000 only for them to take off with it and disappear, and I JUST 5 minutes ago got off the phone with the bank because I have 3 overdraft fees and a once again negative checking account.

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

And I also wasted most of my inheritance from my grandmother on clothes and drugs. 

Now I just spend my money on other people which is basically as bad, but leaves me with a better conscience, only just as fucking broke.

I know it sucks Embarrassed Unregistered Member, but trust me, You Are Not Alone.

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I'm still paying down thousands of dollars from manic sprees (some gambling included)...and all the interest that accrues (evil banks.)  I can't tell you how many times I've been through debt consolidations.  I think I had at one point maxed out three cards with rather high limits...so it was getting up there.  Nice downpayment on a house perhaps?

*sigh*

But you just have to resolve yourself to do it. 

For me, it was a weird double-edged sword as I'd go and blow all this money and then I'd get paranoid that one day I'd be all poor and penniless and have nothing.  Sure, I was working and hoped that I always would continue to be employed but knowing that nothing is safe, there is no job security, I had already been fired once for being MI (more paranoia...) eventually, the worrying and rumination about the future won out over the spending.  I looked around, took stock and said, "Look at all of this shit.  I don't need any more shit.  I don't need to buy more things that I'll never use like this and this and this..."

So I adopted pretty much a lifestyle of poverty to start getting things paid off.  I only bought necessities, shopped at second hand stores (which wasn't really a stretch because second hand stores can be pretty cool, anyway) and just stuck with that for a long time.  Maybe once in a while I would allow myself a treat but otherwise, nothing but necessities.

I probably slipped up a little but the debt started dropping and it's still continuing to do so.

I'm not saying everyone needs to do as I did--take a vow of poverty and start living like a monk or a nun.  This is just my tale.

Karen

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Heya,

Well, mine was a depressive (i.e., therapeutic??) rather than manic spending spree.

The online vendor was clever enough to call me (on the phone) on it before they put the order through, and I was embarrassed enough to cancel the order.

Now, I have rules about online shopping.

--ncc--

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I've accumulated about $8000 worth of credit card debt in the past year AND have stopped paying the bills.  Not because I cannot afford to pay the bills but because I am too scared to open them.  I finally confessed to my husband and he said we'd fix it together.  But unfortunately I married an incredibly lazy man.

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I racked up 70,000$ in debt over about 5 years in the pursuit of "stuff".  I filed for a chapter 7, screwing my credit until 2011. 

Frankly, I count myself lucky.  I finally, finally, finally learned to live on a cash basis, within a budget.  The only "payment" I have is to my parents, who out of their kindness of their hearts, bought a car for me.  I look around my house, and think to myself, this isn't all new, some of it's hand me down, but I bought and paid for it all with cash money and it's mine.

My only problem is that now I'm obessively panicked about money.  Drives my husband batshit.  I'm always afraid we don't have enough, even when we have a nice cushion in the saving account or for the week.

I panic at the least purchase.

I'm so afraid of going back to that spendthrift that I've created this monster person in the other direction.

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