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Hypersexuality

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Hi CB--

So I'm currently in a loving, committed long term relationship, although we do live a couple hours away at the moment.

It seems I get very hypersexual around this time of year. My question is, how do you keep it in check or cope? I feel like I'm on the verge of being reckless, and its terrifying me.

Any help appreciated,

Alice

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Tough question.  I visit escorts, but this may not be an option for you.  Self service may cause you to make a bigger mistake.  I would just avoid situations that may lead to any behavior you are concerned about, such as going to bars, and hope for the best.  You could also try and find a safe, local friend, but then you run the risk of them getting attached.  This topic really is my greatest struggle, and I hope you find something that works for you.  At the end of the day, I think finding some way to regain control of the situation is key, but it might require an unorthodox solution.

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2 hours ago, isbipo said:

The only thing that will help you diminish your libido is Risperdal trust me it will make you asexual ;)

Haha...So true! SSRI's will make you lose interest also. Many people here would love to have the hypersexual problem (well not the reckless impulsive part) but an actual libido would be amazing, my spouse would be overjoyed.

Are you currently on any medications? Have you had your hormones tested? You may have excess or something or perhaps you are just bored.

Edited by cloudmonger

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39 minutes ago, cloudmonger said:

Haha...So true! SSRI's will make you lose interest also. Many people here would love to have the hypersexual problem (well not the reckless impulsive part) but an actual libido would be amazing, my spouse would be overjoyed.

Are you currently on any medications? Have you had your hormones tested? You may have excess or something or perhaps you are just bored.

I'm currently on Lithium, Abilify, Prozac, and Xanax. Ive never had my hormones tested, I've just always assumed it was part of the bipolar.

47 minutes ago, Jean Valjean said:

Tough question.  I visit escorts, but this may not be an option for you.  Self service may cause you to make a bigger mistake.  I would just avoid situations that may lead to any behavior you are concerned about, such as going to bars, and hope for the best.  You could also try and find a safe, local friend, but then you run the risk of them getting attached.  This topic really is my greatest struggle, and I hope you find something that works for you.  At the end of the day, I think finding some way to regain control of the situation is key, but it might require an unorthodox solution.

Thats what I was afraid of -- the unorthodox solution. The "self-service" doesn't seem to satisfy my needs, and the local friend will make me feel unfaithful. I'm in between a rock and a hard place.

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I think your devotion is great.  However, I think with BP, we often live in a world of 2nd best solutions. Unfortunately, most people do not agree with this assessment.

On a related note, I often find taking an extra barb and classical music can temporarily distract me.  With an emphasis on the temporary part.  

I would be careful about neutralizing your sexuality with meds though.  When your significant other moves back, you don't want to be asexual.  That situation may prove to be just as destructive.

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I know sometimes people envy the idea of hypersexuality, but the actual experience is not enviable. Even with a local partner, it can cause problems. I think finding better means of self help might be the best, especially since you're trying to maintain a relationship. I've had phone sex suggested to me for those long distance situations, I'm not sure how that works. I wish I had a solution since it would help me as well at times. You're on a lot of meds but would a seasonal dose tweak help?  For me, a slight abilify increase helps, but everyone is different. 

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I think using the phone just serves as another trigger, but we are all different.   Could work.  My hypersexuality can be a nuisance at times, but I've grown to appreciate it after I learned an unorthodox way to manage it.

If you are determined to maintain a conventional relationship, then I concur with sugarsugar. See if you can increase a med temporarily.  Having a conversation about hypersexuality with your pdoc may be a little awkward, but you need to just stay focused on the importance of your relationship when you do.

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Other than meds. I suggest communicate with your partner to limit the consequences in case you do get worse and become 'unfaithful'. Just be straight with him/her. 

Every time I've been in hospital for mania, I always used to hit on the nurses, I used to even say inappropriate things sometimes. As embarrassing it might be, they understood, because they knew it was the mania talking. When I levelled out I couldn't look them in the face and when I did, I apologised profusely. They understood.

So like I said, communicate with your partner, honesty works wonders in relationships. 

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2 hours ago, Kerry3 said:

You just have to fill the cup till it is full.

What does this mean?

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So let's take a moment to talk about why "fill the cup til it is full" is really bad advice for someone who is currently having a manic episode.

-likely to compromise otherwise held values
-risking STIs, some of which can have life-long consequences such as HIV
-increased risk of pregnancy (if you're having the kind of activity where egg and sperm could meet up)
-increased risk of danger due to impulsive decisions and poor choice of partner
-resulting complexities to already existing relationships
-reconciling regret/shame for the behaviors while manic

I'm sure there are more.

Let's not encourage people to act on their impulses while manic, eh?

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Masturbate, masturbate ALOT lol that's what I do, I know no other way :)

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I'm with LMoS on this. When my sex drive turns up, I watch a lot of porn and masturbate. I won't lie. I've had issues with it, like absolutely needing to find sexual release several times a day, even at work. It's inappropriate, but I do my absolute best to behave. Even driving. I've had to pull over and either finish on the shoulder (so dangerous, don't attempt) or pretend to stop for gas and handle it there. But porn and self service really help.

I'm in a married monogamous relationship. He enjoys the so-called perks of the situation, but he understands that it's not a good place to be- I end up with a lot of shame and guilt.  Still though, be honest with your partner. Explain that you aren't looking to make a booty call- he/she doesn't need to come satisfy your symptoms. I like to keep my sexual relationship with my husband separate from my broken brain's sexual relationships. I'm not sure my husband gets how bad it is for me- at least in my mind- but he knows that there's a sexy side to me and a sick side. My ill side really loves porn.

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I think most Americans have an external hard drive full of it somewhere. If it can keep you from engaging in risky behavior, do what you gotta do.  

Also, I know what you mean about significant others not appreciating hypersexuality.  By all means, discuss it with them if you can. However, I think most would prefer to live in ignorance of what their BP partner has to do to get by.

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I would suggest electronic sex, be it via phone, email. chat, video.I found it can help if you are comfortable with it and even if you are not it has the added point of being a bit naughty

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I suspect it would be important to suss that out with one's spouse/partner(s), .id

 

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2 minutes ago, Wooster said:

I suspect it would be important to suss that out with one's spouse/partner(s), .id

 

True but just an idea

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Going back to an earlier reply.  I would suggest having your hormones checked and to talk to a doctor about your sex drive as a medical concern.  Hormones do a LOT of weird stuff if they are out of wack (Trust me on this)  If you get checked and they are ok you have one less thing to worry about.  If they are out of wack you know whats going on and there are ways to rein things in so they are not adding baggage to your situation.  In either event if you talk to your GDoc about this and explain you are concerned it is a problem you will have someone working on the case that might be able to see some big picture reason why your having problems and hopefully can solve it.

Its just my opinion but it can really hurt to have someone step out on you so one loud round of applause and stomping of the feet for you not doing that.   We live in a society where a fair number of people don't consider how that effects their Significant others and for those that give a shit this can be about as bad as bad can get.   *One reason I'm such a basket case for the 2 people that don't know that.

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