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dpshaw

My mania is driving my wife nuts

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Hi,

I'm in the midst of a manic episode and it is driving my wife crazy.  We're already taking steps to set up family counseling to help us deal with this.  In the meantime, does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do to stop straining the relationship?  I'm already doing my best to 'dial it back', but I'm not having that much success so far.  Some of my symptoms are pressured speech, increased sexuality (in the form of seeking out other partners... we have an open relationship), going after other jobs, latching on to ideas and friggin' running with them at about 1000%, etc.  As I recognize me doing things, I can kinda keep them in check, but I'm really looking for positive things I can do to show my wife I still love her and aren't trying to make her life hell, as well as ways to reduce the negative actions I've been taking.

Fwiw, my doctor has ordered a lithium screen and reduced my anti-depressant.

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Well, it seems to me like you've got to get a hold of the mania. This usually means meds. I'm glad you are taking lithium. Talk to your doctor how this mania is causing problems in your life. There is a bunch of other meds that can be added to bring you back down.

Edited by jt07

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I agree with jt ... and to add to that ... have you tried couple's therapy?

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Mania can be really hard on a relationship. I've tested my fiancee time and time again. Is there anything you can do to calm down before interacting with her? Some deep breathing or meditation or something? I know I really push my fiancee's buttons when I'm super irritable and talking a mile a minute.

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Yup...that was my summer. You have my sympathy; it is a unique form of hell. 

It's good that you have insight. That will save you in the end. 

I took a lot of very long and aimless drives this summer. Playing very loud music; I also made a lot of playlists. It burned a surprising amount of energy. To drive, you must think about driving. It is physical and cerebral at the same time. And when you're cruising along in the middle of nowhere, you're not doing things like running up your credit cards or yammering at your spouse.

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Just a simple idea. I try to do low-energy things when manic. Mostly I read, but some cheap tv helps. These activities sometimes keep me from getting revved up. Like a toy with a pull string, if I don't get it started, it can't go too far. It's not a permanent fix. It helps with the insomnia. And porn. Lots of porn. We're monogamous, so I can't run around and find another. Self service, for me anyway, is a decent way to ensure I'm going to stay clean and safe. I wish my college self had this info.

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15 hours ago, dpshaw said:

Hi,

I'm in the midst of a manic episode and it is driving my wife crazy.  We're already taking steps to set up family counseling to help us deal with this.  In the meantime, does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do to stop straining the relationship?  I'm already doing my best to 'dial it back', but I'm not having that much success so far.  Some of my symptoms are pressured speech, increased sexuality (in the form of seeking out other partners... we have an open relationship), going after other jobs, latching on to ideas and friggin' running with them at about 1000%, etc.  As I recognize me doing things, I can kinda keep them in check, but I'm really looking for positive things I can do to show my wife I still love her and aren't trying to make her life hell, as well as ways to reduce the negative actions I've been taking.

Fwiw, my doctor has ordered a lithium screen and reduced my anti-depressant.

I was looking at your sig ... is it up-to-date?  Your sig says:  Zubsolv (8.6mg), and Pristiq (50mg) ... but from what you've said, you are also on lithium.  Just wondered if there were any others.

I've read here on CB that others use zyprexa as needed for when they feel like hypo/mania was coming.  I know you wrote in your sig that the zyprexa, depakote, and others were past meds, and am wondering why ... is it that you can't tolerate the side effects, or they didn't work or ?

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Wow I can really relate. Me and my GF have a very strained relationship mostly due to my MI... it's awful sometimes. I don't know what to do. I can't control myself sometimes, and while she's been there with me through thick and thin, it wears her down, as it would anyone really, so she gets really aggro. I can understand it and I empathize with her, while at the same time, I can't stop doing what I'm doing. Argh!!!

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