you ever wonder

[daemongrrl]

Okay, I was thinking that sometimes bipolar makes me doubt any of my emotions. So, I feel good and happy and creative and like I can do things. Probably mania, I think. I feel kind of crummy and assume it's depression (even if there are legitimate reasons to feel crummy).

Guess my question is whether it's possible just to have normal emotions within the confines of bipolar. My guess would be yes, but how would you tell? I think for me, it's about killed what little self-esteem I had left. I thought I was a decent writer...now, I'm not sure. I probably only THINK that I am, because I only really write when I feel really happy and high. Therefore, I'm probably not actually a good writer, because I'm manic and would tend to think that anyway.

Anybody else get this?

[celestia]

Okay, I was thinking that sometimes bipolar makes me doubt any of my emotions. So, I feel good and happy and creative and like I can do things. Probably mania, I think. I feel kind of crummy and assume it's depression (even if there are legitimate reasons to feel crummy).

Guess my question is whether it's possible just to have normal emotions within the confines of bipolar. My guess would be yes, but how would you tell? I think for me, it's about killed what little self-esteem I had left. I thought I was a decent writer...now, I'm not sure. I probably only THINK that I am, because I only really write when I feel really happy and high. Therefore, I'm probably not actually a good writer, because I'm manic and would tend to think that anyway.

Anybody else get this?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You are a good writer, and you don't sound manic. FWIW. Normal is such a limiting word, with such negative connotations for those of us who feel it's unattainable at worst, fleeting at best. I prefer healthy. Right now you sound healthy, but I'm concerned about the unmedicated state. How long have you been unmedicated?

Suze

[Dweii]

I think it's very possible to still have a spectrum of normal emotions even if you are bipolar. Sometimes they get out of hand and tend to be not so normal, but of course we can still feel sad without being depressed, and happy without being manic.

[daemongrrl]

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[revlow]

If you haven't yet, please read my post to you here: http://www.crazyboards.org/index.php?showt...ndpost&p=106109

Have you been on Lamictal yet? I don't see anything in your post indicating that you have, but if so what were the results?

1) Studies of Lamictal have shown zero teratogenic problems, and

2) Lamictal is usually good for us BPII/NOS types.

Your doc should know this!

[daemongrrl]

If you haven't yet, please read my post to you here: http://www.crazyboards.org/index.php?showt...ndpost&p=106109

Have you been on Lamictal yet? I don't see anything in your post indicating that you have, but if so what were the results?

1) Studies of Lamictal have shown zero teratogenic problems, and

2) Lamictal is usually good for us BPII/NOS types.

Your doc should know this!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think I'll definitely talk to her about it; I wasn't aware, and she hadn't mentioned anything about it. That's fantastic; I've actually been anxious to get on meds of some sort, and if Lamictal works without teratogenic effects...that's worth it.

[Loon-A-TiK]

I feel your concerns; since I've been DXed since I was 7, I wonder what it is like to be "normal". Am I normal? Is everyone else whacked-out? Is it normal to feel mania's fires and depression's abyss? Am I "normal" hanging inbetween these states, sometimes in a crash mode?

Look into Lamictal. It has worked well for me with no side effects except growing LONG nails and hair (and nice, thick hair too!).

--------loon-----------

[revlow]

I think I'll definitely talk to her about it; I wasn't aware, and she hadn't mentioned anything about it. That's fantastic; I've actually been anxious to get on meds of some sort, and if Lamictal works without teratogenic effects...that's worth it.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You might want to print out the articles from my other post to bring with you: http://www.crazyboards.org/index.php?showt...ndpost&p=106109. I find a lot of times it helps to have it in print to give to docs. Just seems to get them focused on the facts, and certainly lets them know that you're aware of them. Seriously, it can create a good starting point for discussion.

[ncc1701]

Heya daemongrrl,

What revlow said, re. Lamictal.

Have a chat with your doc about this.

From the doc's perspective:

Having actual research to bring in is good.  We *don't* like hearing what your friends on the internet told you.  But we like to read papers and articles that help us help you.

OK, now, your original Q had to do with whatever the hell "normal" feelings are.

No frickin clue, but I'm working on it.

Non-BP people have excitement, happiness, sadness, anger.

But, like you, I'm not sure where those end and the BP takes over.

But they *are* possible and even likely.

I think that's a really tricky aspect of this disease.

--ncc--

[trailerparkbarbie]

I've been wondering about this "normal" thing, too.

When mania hits, I feel really "high" and like I can do anything. Superwoman powers.

When severe depression hits, I feel like shit.

Lately, I just feel like I'm kinda biding time.

Maybe, this is how people who are "normal" feel???????

Anybody out there "normal"???

I always thought normal was a cycle on a washing machine!

[BlackCat]

Hey tpBarbie..

I know what you mean about biding time. It feels like i am just waiting for the next surprise. I  have wondered about the time between...I never used to have time between, is that a good sign?

Hope you're doing good, I misssed ya!

[italianchick]

Um..well I have a question for you , what the heck is normal???

I tend to avoid the use of that word all together or as much as I can and when I do use it, I will either change my voice or do quotations with my hands... lol

But I do know what you mean by that question, sort of..

[daemongrrl]

Um..well I have a question for you , what the heck is normal???

I tend to avoid the use of that word all together or as much as I can and when I do use it, I will either change my voice or do quotations with my hands... lol

But I do know what you mean by that question, sort of..

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

*grin* I suppose I was using the wrong term, but I'm not sure what else to use. "How regular people feel" runs into the same sorts of problems. I just know that I don't feel like the average Josephine, at least not most of the time.

[Glen]

Um..well I have a question for you , what the heck is normal???

You can read about it in the DSM-IV.

[seven]

Um..well I have a question for you , what the heck is normal???

You can read about it in the DSM-IV.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

hi glen,

can you point us in the right direction to find what normal means in the dsm iv? i did a quick search and what i found was it's based on the biomedical model...but i'm not sure that helps much since we still can't really do physical tests to determine what disorders everyone has or if they've attained "normality."

to address the topic, i thought i was doing pretty good and normal on my meds...until my therapist asked me if i'm ever normal (euthymic). i was at a loss, wondering "so i haven't impressed you with my rendition of normal thus far?" i came to realize i'm either up or down to some degree. no serenity for me. you hear about those bipolars that have long stretches of normal. but such is not my ultradian within rapid-cycling lot.

edit to add: I think I just answered a part of the " what is normal" question. Euthymia, as my tdoc explained it, is being content, pleasant. Not up or down. Just calm and content. Now, within the range of "normal" is also hyperthymia, a more energetic (but not hypomanic) version. And I would also include a small smattering of light dysthymia (hey, everyone feels a little glum once in a while). Also, it is normal to have a hypomanic or depressive spike that last a few hours to a day or so. It just gets pathological when it's 4 days or more according to the DSM IV.

Ahh, now I get what you meant Glen. I took you too literally my apologies.

7

[Min]

i prefer the word 'stable' to normal.

right now i would say that i am stable.  so yes it can happen.  sometimes you're up, sometimes down, and sometimes in between.

[Glen]

Um..well I have a question for you , what the heck is normal???

You can read about it in the DSM-IV.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

hi glen,

can you point us in the right direction to find what normal means in the dsm iv? i did a quick search and what i found was it's based on the biomedical model...but i'm not sure that helps much since we still can't really do physical tests to determine what disorders everyone has or if they've attained "normality."

to address the topic, i thought i was doing pretty good and normal on my meds...until my therapist asked me if i'm ever normal (euthymic). i was at a loss, wondering "so i haven't impressed you with my rendition of normal thus far?" i came to realize i'm either up or down to some degree. no serenity for me. you hear about those bipolars that have long stretches of normal. but such is not my ultradian within rapid-cycling lot.

edit to add: I think I just answered a part of the " what is normal" question. Euthymia, as my tdoc explained it, is being content, pleasant. Not up or down. Just calm and content. Now, within the range of "normal" is also hyperthymia, a more energetic (but not hypomanic) version. And I would also include a small smattering of light dysthymia (hey, everyone feels a little glum once in a while). Also, it is normal to have a hypomanic or depressive spike that last a few hours to a day or so. It just gets pathological when it's 4 days or more according to the DSM IV.

Ahh, now I get what you meant Glen. I took you too literally my apologies.

7

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

As always 7, an insightful post.

[LikeMinded]

Normal me does not exist, as far as society is concerned.

I was born inattentive to my parents, I didn't learn to walk until nearly the age of two, didn't learn to talk until the age of three (while having learned how to read, and even make sandwiches!, well before then), didn't learn to ride a two-wheeled bike until 11. I was depressed since the age of 5 and was medicated after the age of 19.  As one CBer said in her signature, Normal is but a setting on the washing machine. And I, as well as most CBers, will never fit that due to my God-given genetic desposition.

We just have to work with our God-given abnormality and live as happy lives as possible without doing something irrational such as suicide or homicide; not to mention, we're here to help the world around us as much as we physically can, whether we're bipolar, depressive, schizophrenic, or otherwise.

[Amethyst]

That is exactly what I am struggling with right now. The slightest bad mood and I think I'm getting depressed or irritable/euphoric and mania. I do believe when we are stable we can have "normal" emotions. And that's what I keep trying to tell myself. I can have a bad day or moment and not mean I'm going to go spiralling out of control. However in the days of not-so-stable-me a mood did end up in disaster. So I guess it depends on if you are stable or not.

Ameth