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Relapse (tw)


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I've been able to abstain from self harm For almost 4 months now with the major stuff (skin picking and scratching still happen) but I recently was urged to start again. This time the sensation is different though. Before I'd do it to hurt myself or see blood, but now I do it because I get a tingle and a rush and it gives me so much pleasure. I don't know how to stop it because it's an adrenaline rush and i can't help but love it. I don't know what to do. 

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I've been able to prolong my relapses by actually seeking & experiencing adrenaline rushes... They provide the necessary flush of endorphins that make me feel alive again. Riding motorcycles, rollercoasters, climbing trees (I'm mildy fearful of heights), acting silly in public, handling dangerous freaky animals, just doing things that will scare the sh*t out me & get my blood pumping helps alot. It's a more satisfying rush & less guilt & consequences. Hope this helps.

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Nicely done on the 4 months without relapse. 

Any time we change behaviors it's pretty normal to have relapses. The idea, though, is to figure out where our resources weren't up to the challenge, and shore things up for next time.

There's a pinned thread at the top of this forum that has loads of suggestions for things to do instead of self harm if you're interested.

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Well done on 4 months. I've felt the reasons why I've wanted to self harm change over time & this being one of them. It's almost like our brain wants to trick us back into doing it by finding another reason to do it. I also feel like that reason is one of the most dangerous. It's the thing that keeps needing us to go deeper to get the same result. So it's worth trying to avoid. Someone once told me that the urge to self harm deminishes as we go longer & longer without & our neural pathways connecting the emotion to wanting to do it deminish every time we choose another option. Thinking of them like garden paths that aren't travelled or maintained. Maybe the pathway to the pleasure memory is the one that's more traveled right now but it'll deminsh too if you want & choose to not self harm. Good luck with this, it takes a long time sometime to get those pathways to over grow, but it's worth it coz you make much better pathways.

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