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Going to ask therapist about DID today


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I'm really nervous. 

I dissociate and I've thought I have DID for awhile, but I haven't asked about it.  I decided today I'll ask my therapist if she can test me. I really need to talk about it if I am going to make any progress.

I don't want to get too scared to ask. Part of me thinks it should stay a secret.

I haven't been seeing her for very long, but I think she'll understand if I can get up the nerve to ask.

Any words of encouragement or persuasion to go through with asking?

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Guest ~Aurelie~

hey confused, how're you feeling tonight? (or today depending upon which part of the world you live in.)

i feel MAD for you.

but you're right in thinking that it would be best if you could find a doctor who specializes in dissociation. that's what i'm on a waiting list for right now. and what you experienced with having your thoughts on what you go through dismissed, i have been avoiding speaking up for that very reason. i have even avoided discussing it with my current pdoc (who's not even taking me on but sort of seeing me just until i get into the trauma program as a courtesy) because i just don't think she's going to be as receptive as i once thought.

i hate that feeling of being dismissed! like because we're psychiatric patients we don't know what our experiences are. HuLLO! we LIVE our experiences!

i also am on the same page as you regarding the label. i'm not interested in that, and in fact do not want it, but you're so right, the dx get's us going on the treatment plan and that's what's really important.

you know, since your current pdoc thinks it sounds like you have some sort of dissociative disorder, he could give you a test to find out exactly where on the dissociative continuum you lie. will you be seeing him soon? if he doesn't offer the test, if i were you i'd ask for it anyway.

you are not alone. i know how it feels that way. in many ways dissociative disorders are very isolating because they're hard to talk about and hard for other people to understand. not only that but the ptsd flashbacks/memories are very confusing and painful and sometimes i don't know if i'm coming or going. i've been feeling like a freak most of my life. it's not a nice feeling. i have always felt alone. but we have this place to talk about it! and that's something! like i said before, i'm here whenever you want/need to vent or talk or whathaveyou.

thinking of and rooting for you.

aurelie

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Guest ~Aurelie~

I also dissociate and don't lose time and have parts......and don't even have a BPD or PTSD diagnosis....however there is something called DD NOS that might be worth you looking into.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

exactly re the DDNOS. many people who have a lot of the symptoms of DID but say, don't lose much or any time (possible co-conscious DID, or not.), or don't find things in their closet they don't remember buying, and especially, who don't have fully developed personality states, are often dx DDNOS which is right before DID on the dissociative continuum. another thing to keep in mind is you may not even know you're losing time. some people don't realize it for a long time. there are blanks and memory loss and confusion about it, but lost time isn't usually the first thing one thinks of to explain it.

however, i am not an expert on the subject. these are just my thoughts on what i have learned and experienced myself. not to confuse things more. sorry if i have.

how are you doing Confused?

aurelie

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exactly re the DDNOS. many people who have a lot of the symptoms of DID but say, don't lose much or any time (possible co-conscious DID, or not.), or don't find things in their closet they don't remember buying, and especially, who don't have fully developed personality states, are often dx DDNOS which is right before DID on the dissociative continuum. another thing to keep in mind is you may not even know you're losing time. some people don't realize it for a long time. there are blanks and memory loss and confusion about it, but lost time isn't usually the first thing one thinks of to explain it.

however, i am not an expert on the subject. these are just my thoughts on what i have learned and experienced myself. not to confuse things more. sorry if i have.

how are you doing Confused?

aurelie

I'm doing okay.  I'm just not sure how I feel about what my psychiatrist said. 

He told me that for DID the best thing is to focus on the main person and not encourage, enhance any alters. He said encouraging them to come out makes the person worse and to try to stay grounded in the present. I think he's a good psychiatrist.

On the one hand, that sounds good because I'm already working on grounding techniques.  It would be nice if I didn't have to dredge up old memories or worry about getting a proper diagnosis.

But, I'm not sure if that's right.  It seems like that for DID it would make sense to understand the system and have good internal communication.

You didn't confuse me any more than I already am.  I know it's either a form of DDNOS or like you described: co-consciousness or I don't realize how much time I'm losing. I know I'm not hallucinating.

Does it make sense to just let it go and try to stay grounded and stable.

How is DDNOS treated?

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I don't exactly know how DD NOS is treated, but my experience in therapy is focusing on feeling the disowned feelings, unsticking what I dissociated from, and freeing up more of my personality so I can start to grow up properly.

Imo grounding in the present is good, alongside the above integration of the parts of the personality, otherwise there can be lose pieces of the jigsaw hanging around and split off (if that makes sense?) Its often a very delicate balance, and takes lots of time, and can only happen slowly. But it is possible.

Just myview,anyway.

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I don't exactly know how DD NOS is treated, but my experience in therapy is focusing on feeling the disowned feelings, unsticking what I dissociated from, and freeing up more of my personality so I can start to grow up properly.

Imo grounding in the present is good, alongside the above integration of the parts of the personality, otherwise there can be lose pieces of the jigsaw hanging around and split off (if that makes sense?) Its often a very delicate balance, and takes lots of time, and can only happen slowly. But it is possible.

Just myview,anyway.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thank you.  That does make sense.

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Guest ~Aurelie~

I don't exactly know how DD NOS is treated, but my experience in therapy is focusing on feeling the disowned feelings, unsticking what I dissociated from, and freeing up more of my personality so I can start to grow up properly.

Imo grounding in the present is good, alongside the above integration of the parts of the personality, otherwise there can be lose pieces of the jigsaw hanging around and split off (if that makes sense?) Its often a very delicate balance, and takes lots of time, and can only happen slowly. But it is possible.

Just myview,anyway.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

hi nestling. i just wanted to say that i'm so glad you have such a good therapist/pdoc because as we all know well, it's so hard to go through this alone and without some sort of guidance. your therapy sounds right on target. wish i could find something like that.

all the best!

aurelie

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