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My pdoc just diagnosed me as PSTD today while in session.  She says I need intensive therapy and I won't likely be able to get it where I live so she is wanting me to go to Shepard Pratt in Baltimore.

That scares me EVEN MORE.  It's 6 hours away from where I live, I need my parents to be with me to feel safe and I don't want them to miss work or my mom to leave a very sick friend because of me.  I hear this facility is very good but I'm SO SCARED to even try it. 

I have PSTD because in my teens I was very sick, told I was going to die many times and have pretty much just blocked out those years.  I have been sick pretty much all my life.  I am not a healthy person, nor have I done anything like smoke or do drugs to cause any of my health problems.

See why I don't wanna go into the hospital?  I'm fucking SCARED of them.

I have a week to decide what I'm going to do.  I know this would probably help but right now I am too scared and want to try it my way a little longer.  I always know I can do it their way if it gets too bad.

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My pdoc just diagnosed me as PSTD today while in session.  She says I need intensive therapy and I won't likely be able to get it where I live so she is wanting me to go to Shepard Pratt in Baltimore.

That scares me EVEN MORE.  It's 6 hours away from where I live, I need my parents to be with me to feel safe and I don't want them to miss work or my mom to leave a very sick friend because of me.  I hear this facility is very good but I'm SO SCARED to even try it.

Hospitalization for PTSD? Emergent hospitalization at that? Sounds kind of strange to me, but wtf do I know.

My thought is a treatement that's going to be more stressful than the mitigating problem is hardly worth attempting until you're less fearful. ESPECIALLY, PTSD? "trauma" being the key word in the phrase, to me anyway.

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Well I don't know anything about this special treatment, but I know that PTSD doesn't go away on its own. It'll stay with you for decades and affect every aspect of your life if you don't deal with it. Assuming that diagnosis is correct. I'm not meaning to sound flippant. Ask others who have dealt with this condition for many years. If there's some intensive treatment you can get, I'd go for it. Could work wonders and make it far more likely you'll be able to lead a normal life.

Denial is pretty much the most common way people try to deal with PTSD, and it doesn't work. You can't just fake it until you make it. Trust me.

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Ask others who have dealt with this condition for many years. If there's some intensive treatment you can get, I'd go for it. Could work wonders and make it far more likely you'll be able to lead a normal life.
Min, my PTSD is a result of child sexual assault within the family and a teenage rape, domestic violence as a kid and in adult relationships, Jem is right, it doesn't just go away, but I have succcessfully managed my PTSD with my therapist right here in my own little safe town. Unless you are in constant flashback hell and totally dissociative all the time or some other shit like that directly related to your PTSD and NOT your BP, I think (just my opinion) you could wait on the hospitalization until you feel more comfortable being away from home. It's not like this is your only shot at it..plus you just got out of the hospital.

My point is, you can treat PTSD with a good tdoc. Let's put it another way, if you were my daughter I would say, "honey, if you are THIS scared to do this, maybe it's not the right thing for you right now." It sounds like you have supportive parents whom you can rely on. Correct me if I'm wrong on that.

Hugs,

Suze

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i have supportive parents but sometimes they are just.....well they don't understand me.

i had a really good tdoc until she abandoned me while i was having a panic attack.  i am currently trying to get an appointment with another one in town (who is more geared toward trauma), but it's hard with this certain one, apparently.

yes, i thought it was a bit weird to be hospitalized myself.  especially with my case, being scared to death of hospitals.

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Well I don't know anything about this special treatment, but I know that PTSD doesn't go away on its own. It'll stay with you for decades and affect every aspect of your life if you don't deal with it. Assuming that diagnosis is correct. I'm not meaning to sound flippant. Ask others who have dealt with this condition for many years. If there's some intensive treatment you can get, I'd go for it. Could work wonders and make it far more likely you'll be able to lead a normal life.

Denial is pretty much the most common way people try to deal with PTSD, and it doesn't work. You can't just fake it until you make it. Trust me.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree with this.

Also, it could be that breaking away from your parents for a finite period of hospitalization would be a healthy part of treatment for you, even if difficult at first.

You could wind up learning that you don't have to have your parents physically there for you to feel safe.  Wouldn't that be empowering if you learned how to rely on yourself for a sense of security?  Not to mention, the phone is there, with your parents on the other end.

I say, Go for it. 

In an allegorical situation, my therapist told me to stop bringing my dog to therapy with me, because I was relying on him to be my security blanket, and I need to learn to rely on me instead.

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Min - from what I've read sounds like you need a great big hug - so here's one from cyberspace.  I truly believe I have some sort of PTSD also and I don't think it's something that ever does go away, but I do think it is something you can learn to deal with or not be freaked out about it and it's not something we can do on our own.  That being said, living with mine for about 20 or so years, I'm just now starting to try to figure it out.  Give it some more thought (not obsessive like I would), talk it over w/your parents some more, and like Libby said, maybe a trip away from your parents would give you a great boost of confidence? 

Good luck with your decision!  Kris.

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i had a really good tdoc until she abandoned me while i was having a panic attack.  i am currently trying to get an appointment with another one in town (who is more geared toward trauma), but it's hard with this certain one, apparently.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Tdoc abandonment another PTSD event, IMO.

If your pdoc thinks you need intensive help right now, could she help you get in to see the tdoc you mention? Sometimes a call/request from another doctor or professional can get you an appointment much quicker than calling as a new patient.

Erika

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hi Min,

first, an acknowledgment, a warm hug (if that's okay), some deep breaths, just, support in knowing you are not alone in feeling as you do.

and, having severe ptsd come up two years ago (from a grand culmination of lifetime events) i can just share what worked for me.

EMDR was like a miracle for me. there's a pinned topic in this section you might want to check out.

i also needed benzos (valium turned out to be best for me) just to stabilize enough to have the courage to get to the therapist, and hell, just to relax enough to eat and otherwise take care of life in the meantime.

i'm currently tapering therapy and benzos and consider myself basically free of ptsd. not that there aren't occasional triggers, but i'm not living in fear, and everything looks different.

i don't know what is best for you but i do wish you peace and healing. please keep us posted.

aloha.

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well my parents don't want me to go which i consider good news.  but it is always something i have to fall back on if everything else fails.  i was doing okay until the inccident with my tdoc.

i consider this PSTD to be acute, not something that really bothers me that much; the only time it really acts up is if i am in a hospital, which is where i would end up going if this treatment were to happen.

i just think i need a new tdoc, which my pdoc is trying to get me an appointment with one that specializes more with trauma as i said yesterday.

thank you for the hugs. ;)

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Min, you sound like you have good perspective about your situation.

the right tdoc can make all the difference in the world! mine specializes in trauma and he's been able to connect with me in a way that other (also great) tdocs never did. in addition to the EMDR he uses bioenergetics, for which i don't have a good url for but the result is i release megatons of anxious energy.

another resource that's really helped me and talks a lot about hospital triggers is "waking the tiger: healing trauma" by peter levine.

i'm really glad your parents are being supportive. and also that you see your situation as one with options.

and i'm glad the hug was welcome ;) you got 'em, anytime. deep breaths, darlin'.

aloha.

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i like hugs, they make me feel good ;)

if im in the mood though.

yes i had my pdoc talk to my parents while i waited outside and they seem to get what's going on with me so they are being more supportive.  before they were trying, but not enough.

i've figured a good thing to take my mind off things- making bracelets or necklaces or something in the jewelry world and sell them on eBay.  i used to do it a lot when i was a kid and thought even if i am up late at night, it's something i could do.  the main thing my parents want is for me to be happy yet productive. :)

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Hi Min,

I have PTSD too. I totally understand how you feel threatened by the suggestion that you go way out to a different hospital for treatment. I'm surprised they suggested this to someone with your DXes.

Honestly, for me, hypnosis has helped so much. I am positive it helped me kick the GAD, which appears sometimes but isn't preventing me from going grocery shopping anymore. I am also positive that I am well on my way to conquering PTSD. Hypnosis allows you to view your past from a distance, where you can work through your feelings and not feel threatened. No meds in the world can do this for you.

If you choose to try it, go to a Certified Master Hypnotherapist. I drive 2 hours to see mine, and between visits (about 4 a year) I fall asleep to her tapes she makes for me.

A lot of us have trauma that probably funnels and fuels our other disorders. Best of wishes.

Brightest Blessings!

-------loonier than usual__-----

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i've figured a good thing to take my mind off things- making bracelets or necklaces or something in the jewelry world and sell them on eBay.  i used to do it a lot when i was a kid and thought even if i am up late at night, it's something i could do.  the main thing my parents want is for me to be happy yet productive. ;)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Happy and productive = very cool.

Min, great to hear you parents are supportive and learning more to help you.

Erika

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Hi Min,

I have PTSD too. I totally understand how you feel threatened by the suggestion that you go way out to a different hospital for treatment. I'm surprised they suggested this to someone with your DXes.

Honestly, for me, hypnosis has helped so much. I am positive it helped me kick the GAD, which appears sometimes but isn't preventing me from going grocery shopping anymore. I am also positive that I am well on my way to conquering PTSD. Hypnosis allows you to view your past from a distance, where you can work through your feelings and not feel threatened. No meds in the world can do this for you.

If you choose to try it, go to a Certified Master Hypnotherapist. I drive 2 hours to see mine, and between visits (about 4 a year) I fall asleep to her tapes she makes for me.

A lot of us have trauma that probably funnels and fuels our other disorders. Best of wishes.

Brightest Blessings!

-------loonier than usual__-----

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i am scared of hypnotism.  >>  i don't want people getting inside my head.  if that makes any sense.  but thanks.

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It sounds like you do have some good things going at home.

You should look into Shepard-Pratt though. I believe that they have have a program specifically for helping people with PTSD, which is probably why your pdoc wanted that hospital and not one closer to home.

I know PTSD can be difficult to manage, I've been doing it, with some or little success depending. Sometimes are better than others -- but it's taken a long time in therapy and the right therapist and the right medicine. And it has't always been pleasant at all.

I noticed you said you don't like people in side your head, does this apply to therapy as well? You really do have to be open to your therapist to get anywhere.

Fiona

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i was open to her, very open, but now i don't have anyone because of 'the incident'.

i was refering to hypnosis or whatever it's called when i said that.  if i read that right i thought it was hypnosis.

my family and i have pretty much figured out going away to a HOSPITAL (i am scared to death of them) would make things worse.  i don't want it, they don't want it.  i don't think it will happen at this time.  if it was closer, maybe.  but i live in WV and there is really nothing like that closer to home.

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Hi Min, I'm glad you're not going to the hospital for now. It sounded fishy to me. There are many ways to deal with PTSD. As long as you're safe with your parents you can explore them. You can't just ignore it and hope it will go away though. I did this for MANY years. School. More school. Work. More work. The PTSD stuff came back through all of it.

I don't know what kind of sickness you're dealing with. I was very sick in my teens too. I thought I was going to die. In a lot of ways I felt betrayed when I didn't die, but that's a story for another thread. It's particularly difficult to deal with PTSD of this sort because there's no real EVENT that caused the trauma - it's caused by a whole way of thinking/ set of beliefs about yourself and your expectations. I think therapy with someone who specializes in trauma is a great place to start.

In the meantime, make your bracelets. You are the same person today that you were before this diagnosis. It's only a label. It doesn't change anything. Millie

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just incase any of you wanna know, i had a hole in my heart which the shit doctors here in WV didn't fix until i was 13.  so that caused breathing problems, sleep apnea, etc.  the doctors here told me they couldn't do anything and i would die, but then i was sent to pittsburgh and they did an experimental procedure which saved my life.  then i had spinal surgery (scoliosis), which was hell with all the shit i had just experienced, and i think i spent months in the hospital, when usually you just stay a week.  i probably had other stuff happen but i really cannot remember as i have blocked a lot of it out.  i am okay in hospitals unless i am admitted to one.  like i can go inside one and to a doctor who has an office in one but once they put the little bracelet on, i start to freak.

i felt betrayed too.  i lost all hope in there being a God.  but recently i have just relied on my muses to protect me, instead of the God that didn't want me.

BTW, love your av.  Celtic crosses are my favorite, even though I'm not religious XD

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My pdoc told my Shepard Pratt wouldn't really be a good place for me since they really only do sexual cases, which I don't need.  As someone said earlier, it's hard to treat my kind of PTSD, and I don't think there's programs for my kind, since most of PTSD is sexual or abusive in some way.

I am very glad my pdoc turned out to be a good one.  Since I don't have a tdoc for the time being she has taken me under her wing and is letting me have appointments 2 weeks apart and is trying to get me in with a tdoc or a tdoc this tdoc recommends or something.  But my pdoc is crazy (the good kind lol) my mom said she was dancing and singing in the waiting room while I was getting set up for my next appointment or something. o_O

Thank you all for supporting me.  I am trying to stay positive for the time being even though it is very hard. ;)

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dancing doc = good.

my tdoc taught me the "happy weasel dance" this week. so now, as i get ready to do volunteer work (mostly with kittycats) my meditation is, if there is suffering in the forest, and no one (or i) is (am) there to see it, can i still do the happy weasel dance?

not making light of anything. it's that i'm post trauma and learning how to be in a world full of triggers, and dance and help other creatures dance too.

that isn't the main point of this post. i want you to know that my heart is with you. i'm glad to hear you have positivity going on, within and without. however things go thanks always for keeping us posted. aloha ;)

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dancing doc = good.

my tdoc taught me the "happy weasel dance" this week. so now, as i get ready to do volunteer work (mostly with kittycats) my meditation is, if there is suffering in the forest, and no one (or i) is (am) there to see it, can i still do the happy weasel dance?

not making light of anything. it's that i'm post trauma and learning how to be in a world full of triggers, and dance and help other creatures dance too.

that isn't the main point of this post. i want you to know that my heart is with you. i'm glad to hear you have positivity going on, within and without. however things go thanks always for keeping us posted. aloha ;)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

aww thank you *hug*  i wish you the best of luck too.  i am so happy that this board is full of wonderful people like yourself.

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Min, about non-sexual or non-abuse PTSD, I have heard from a lot of people, not just on these boards, that EMDR is really amazing. If I had insurance I'd be checking it out. You also might ask about support groups, or Google them in your area. It's a big step to be looking at the diagnosis at all, you know? Good luck.

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Min, about non-sexual or non-abuse PTSD, I have heard from a lot of people, not just on these boards, that EMDR is really amazing. If I had insurance I'd be checking it out. You also might ask about support groups, or Google them in your area. It's a big step to be looking at the diagnosis at all, you know? Good luck.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

but it doesn't really bother me unless i go into a hospital.  i wouldn't really call it a bothersome thing.

support groups scare me.  damn my SAD >>

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