Artchick Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 I've been doing match.com dating for close to 3 years. I got my last boyfriend that way. I've had some really nice experiences, met a lot of nice guys, and have lots of weird and/or funny experiences to relate. But today I received the e-mail of all e-mails. I contacted this guy who was just average looking but it seemed like we would have a lot in common. He wrote back. I wrote back. He wrote back again. It contained 5 paragraphs discussing his music, movies, hobbies, radio stations, interests, etc. All of his answers were really good. And then I got to the last paragraph: Sorry to blurt this out but to be honest, at least from your pictures... I'm not attracted to you physically. You are cute, just not my type. If you can forgive the fact that I'm a pig, I'd like to meet for a beer sometime. Greg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celestia Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 I've been doing match.com dating for close to 3 years. I got my last boyfriend that way. I've had some really nice experiences, met a lot of nice guys, and have lots of weird and/or funny experiences to relate. But today I received the e-mail of all e-mails. I contacted this guy who was just average looking but it seemed like we would have a lot in common. He wrote back. I wrote back. He wrote back again. It contained 5 paragraphs discussing his music, movies, hobbies, radio stations, interests, etc. All of his answers were really good. And then I got to the last paragraph: Sorry to blurt this out but to be honest, at least from your pictures... I'm not attracted to you physically. You are cute, just not my type. If you can forgive the fact that I'm a pig, I'd like to meet for a beer sometime. Greg Un-freakin' believable, people! I have never, in my years of computer dating, got an e-mail like that before. In what universe is this normal behavior? So I wrote him back: Wow. That was... odd. He wrote back (already unbelievable) to tell me again that he thought I was unattractive but he would still get that beer with me. Un-freakin' believable. Your thoughts? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Fuck you, asshole, comes to mind. What a dick. Match.cum sucks. I joined the elitest e-harmony? They could never find a match for me--not even on a global level...real affirming...I canceled my free trial. I thought if they can't find anyone in the world that thinks like I do, fuck, what are the odds of Central PA? Alone, alone, alone. Get used to it. (for me) You could meet him for that beer and then dump it on his head. And say, wow, you look so much more attractive to me soaked in beer. Grrrr. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirMarshall Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Translation: "Hi, I don't find you attractive enough to date, but you'll do for passing the time. Beside, if I drink enough beer....." *background: nameless country singer..."The girls all get prettier at closing time..."* Well at least be thankful that he is HONEST! He told you doesn't find you attractive, and yes, he IS a pig. Send him one more reply thanking him for his honesty and then block his email address so you don't see anything else from him. Don't even think of wasting your time or groveling by meeting him. BTW, his opinion in gals doesn't matter either. A.M. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 I'm with Air Marshall. It's very, very odd... but at least he was honest. Might be worth meeting him based on that trait alone, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Fuck you, asshole, comes to mind. What a dick. Match.cum sucks. I joined the elitest e-harmony? They could never find a match for me--not even on a global level...real affirming...I canceled my free trial. I thought if they can't find anyone in the world that thinks like I do, fuck, what are the odds of Central PA? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I was on e-harmony for a few months and met some nice people online, but the only person within an hour's drive thought I was too far away. I think some were scared off by the fact that my most admired person was my therapist Actually, I did meet my wife on Match.com Tommy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danica Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Daaamn...what a jackass. I mean it's good he let you know early on, but he could have found a more tactful way of saying it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weaseltine Cracker Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 What a tactless retard. Points for honesty, maybe. But there are nicer ways to handle the situation. I'd definitely _not_ go out for the beer. What a freak. --Weasel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 Smile and delete! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Libby Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 I have to say kudo's to the guy for being real. He's letting you know the deal up front, so you can decide if it's something you want to spend your time on. He could turn out to be a buddy, as long as you're not attracted to him either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jadegreendiva Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 It seems to me like he is only interested in meeting you for the possibility of drunken, beer-google-fueled sex. Unless you are interested in the same, tell him thanks, but no thanks. Also, attraction is in the eye of the beholder. So don't worry that some pig-asswipe had the nerve to write such a thing to you. Jade Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Libby Posted January 24, 2006 Share Posted January 24, 2006 It seems to me like he is only interested in meeting you for the possibility of drunken, beer-google-fueled sex. Unless you are interested in the same, tell him thanks, but no thanks. Also, attraction is in the eye of the beholder. So don't worry that some pig-asswipe had the nerve to write such a thing to you. Jade <{POST_SNAPBACK}> If he already said he's not attracted to her, doesn't that mean that he doesn't want sex? Sounds to me like he wants to be pals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 It seems to me like he is only interested in meeting you for the possibility of drunken, beer-google-fueled sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Libby Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 Could mean that. But it's also a get-out-of-jail-free card if they do end up having beer-goggle-fueled sex.But if he's not attracted to her... ::::scratching head:::: why would he have sex with her? Am I just dense? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CraZgrrl Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 Ok maybe I don't understand, but what was he supposed to do? You email him the first time and he emails back. You email again and he decides that he needs to be upfont and tell you hes not attracted before you become interested in him. He thinks your cool though and would like to hang out. I don't understand why you are mad at him. I understand why you are hurt, but I don't think he did anything wrong. Personally I would rather know the truth than have him make excuses or just stop talking to me. Just my 2 cents FWIW. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirMarshall Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 If he already said he's not attracted to her, doesn't that mean that he doesn't want sex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 Lib, Think of the wolf-in-sheep's clothing. They are hitting it off, and then he sends this disarmingly honest-looking proposal: don't worry, I'm not attracted to you at all (so I won't climb all over you over beers)--tho you are cute--so let's meet up! A lot of guys would like to close the deal (i.e., meet up) quickly, rather than yak-yak-yakking, getting to know each other better first, etc. What better way to convince someone to meet up? Then, after a few beers, he can say something like, "well, my my, I totally misjudged you on the picture thing! You are cute!" Then later, when he's sober, he has that get-outta-jail-free card... The fact that he wrote airchick twice to let her know that yes indeed, he does find her unattractive but would still do her the honor of having a damn beer with her also makes him a bit of a sadist, in my book. I dunno. Airchick, I agree. Un-fucking-believable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artchick Posted January 25, 2006 Author Share Posted January 25, 2006 Ok maybe I don't understand, but what was he supposed to do? You email him the first time and he emails back. You email again and he decides that he needs to be upfont and tell you hes not attracted before you become interested in him. He thinks your cool though and would like to hang out. I don't understand why you are mad at him. I understand why you are hurt, but I don't think he did anything wrong. Personally I would rather know the truth than have him make excuses or just stop talking to me. I've been doing this internet dating thing for years. That was the most incredibly rude thing I have EVER experienced and boy, do I have some tales to relate. The polite thing to do is NOT write back. Writing back implies interest. That is what makes internet dating relatively painless- you never have to be rejected. You send the message out- it goes into the vacuum of cyber space. Once in awhile someone replies back. Bonus! Even if you (for some odd reason) wanted to write back and reject everyone personally (maybe you are a sadist?) it would be near impossible. The first month I was on there I got e-mails from over 100 guys. After a couple of years I still get 5-7 e-mails a week. Rejecting men would be a full time job. He wrote someone he didn't know to tell her all about himself and then kicks it off by telling her that she is unattractive? I'm not mad- I'm dumbfounded by the incredible lack of social skills this guy displays. Shocked and awed, shall we say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jadegreendiva Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 But if he's not attracted to her... ::::scratching head:::: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celestia Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 But if he's not attracted to her... ::::scratching head:::: why would he have sex with her? Am I just dense? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Libby, I don't think you are dense. I just know from experience, unfortunately, that these types of guys are out there. The "I'm not attracted to you but that doesn't mean we can't have sex"- type. Some women think that "most" men behave this way, but I'd have to disagree. It takes a special kind of self-centered asshole to assume he can easily pick up random pieces of ass this way (not that you, Artchick, are a random piece of ass). Jade <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Word. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Libby Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 But if he's not attracted to her... ::::scratching head:::: why would he have sex with her? Am I just dense? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Libby, I don't think you are dense. I just know from experience, unfortunately, that these types of guys are out there. The "I'm not attracted to you but that doesn't mean we can't have sex"- type. Some women think that "most" men behave this way, but I'd have to disagree. It takes a special kind of self-centered asshole to assume he can easily pick up random pieces of ass this way (not that you, Artchick, are a random piece of ass). Jade <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Word. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I'm glad I date women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artchick Posted January 25, 2006 Author Share Posted January 25, 2006 not that you, Artchick, are a random piece of ass Hee! Does that mean I'm not random? If anyone is curious about what I actually look like, go to My blog Don't out me as a mentally interesting person, though. I'm "out" in my real life but "in the closet" in my cyber life. Except here. I answered an ad that said: "don't answer if you are bipolar and not taking your meds". Well, he did say "AND"- I always take my meds. Yeah, I know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jadegreendiva Posted January 26, 2006 Share Posted January 26, 2006 not that you, Artchick, are a random piece of ass Hee! Does that mean I'm not random? If anyone is curious about what I actually look like, go to My blog Don't out me as a mentally interesting person, though. I'm "out" in my real life but "in the closet" in my cyber life. Except here. I answered an ad that said: "don't answer if you are bipolar and not taking your meds". Well, he did say "AND"- I always take my meds. Yeah, I know. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Okay... that guy is delusional - why the hell is he not attracted to you? You are beautiful? Like model beautiful. Clearly, he is intimidated. And I am serious. Jade (a chick who knows a beautiful chick when she sees one) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artchick Posted January 26, 2006 Author Share Posted January 26, 2006 Okay... that guy is delusional - why the hell is he not attracted to you? You are beautiful? Like model beautiful. Clearly, he is intimidated. And I am serious. Thank you! I think you went a bit overboard with the praise, however. I certainly don't think I'm beautiful but for goodness sakes, I am not unattractive. Jeeze! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seldarin Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 Obviously the guy's not just an asshole, but an asshole that needs glasses. You're really pretty, and I'm with AM for his motivation. (Yes, I wear glasses, before anyone gets mad at that. =P) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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