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I've been doing match.com dating for close to 3 years. I got my last boyfriend that way. I've had some really nice experiences, met a lot of nice guys, and have lots of weird and/or funny experiences to relate.

But today I received the e-mail of all e-mails.

I contacted this guy who was just average looking but it seemed like we would have a lot in common. He wrote back. I wrote back. He wrote back again. It contained 5 paragraphs discussing his music, movies, hobbies, radio stations, interests, etc. All of his answers were really good.

And then I got to the last paragraph:

Sorry to blurt this out but to be honest, at least from your pictures... I'm not attracted to you physically. You are cute, just not my type. If you can forgive the fact that I'm a pig, I'd like to meet for a beer sometime.

Greg

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I've been doing match.com dating for close to 3 years. I got my last boyfriend that way. I've had some really nice experiences, met a lot of nice guys, and have lots of weird and/or funny experiences to relate.

But today I received the e-mail of all e-mails.

I contacted this guy who was just average looking but it seemed like we would have a lot in common. He wrote back. I wrote back. He wrote back again. It contained 5 paragraphs discussing his music, movies, hobbies, radio stations, interests, etc. All of his answers were really good.

And then I got to the last paragraph:

Sorry to blurt this out but to be honest, at least from your pictures... I'm not attracted to you physically. You are cute, just not my type. If you can forgive the fact that I'm a pig, I'd like to meet for a beer sometime.

Greg

Un-freakin' believable, people! I have never, in my years of computer dating, got an e-mail like that before. In what universe is this normal behavior?

So I wrote him back:  Wow. That was... odd.

He wrote back (already unbelievable) to tell me again that he thought I was unattractive but he would still get that beer with me.

Un-freakin' believable.

Your thoughts?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Fuck you, asshole, comes to mind. What a dick. Match.cum sucks. I joined the elitest e-harmony? They could never find a match for me--not even on a global level...real affirming...I canceled my free trial. I thought if they can't find anyone in the world that thinks like I do, fuck, what are the odds of Central PA?

Alone, alone, alone. Get used to it. (for me)

You could meet him for that beer and then dump it on his head. And say, wow, you look so much more attractive to me soaked in beer.

Grrrr.

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Translation:  "Hi, I don't find you attractive enough to date, but you'll do for passing the time.  Beside, if I drink enough beer....." *background: nameless country singer..."The girls all get prettier at closing time..."*

Well at least be thankful that he is HONEST! He told you doesn't find you attractive, and yes, he IS a pig.

Send him one more reply thanking him for his honesty and then block his email address so you don't see anything else from him.    Don't even think of wasting your time or groveling by meeting him.

BTW, his opinion in gals doesn't matter either.

A.M.

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Fuck you, asshole, comes to mind. What a dick. Match.cum sucks. I joined the elitest e-harmony? They could never find a match for me--not even on a global level...real affirming...I canceled my free trial. I thought if they can't find anyone in the world that thinks like I do, fuck, what are the odds of Central PA?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I was on e-harmony for a few months and met some nice people online, but the only person within an hour's drive thought I was too far away.  I think some were scared off by the fact that my most admired person was my therapist ;)

Actually, I did meet my wife on Match.com

Tommy

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I have to say kudo's to the guy for being real.  He's letting you know the deal up front, so you can decide if it's something you want to spend your time on.  He could turn out to be a buddy, as long as you're not attracted to him either.

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It seems to me like he is only interested in meeting you for the possibility of drunken, beer-google-fueled sex.  Unless you are interested in the same, tell him thanks, but no thanks.  Also, attraction is in the eye of the beholder.  So don't worry that some pig-asswipe had the nerve to write such a thing to you.

Jade

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It seems to me like he is only interested in meeting you for the possibility of drunken, beer-google-fueled sex.  Unless you are interested in the same, tell him thanks, but no thanks.  Also, attraction is in the eye of the beholder.  So don't worry that some pig-asswipe had the nerve to write such a thing to you.

Jade

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If he already said he's not attracted to her, doesn't that mean that he doesn't want sex?  Sounds to me like he wants to be pals.

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Ok maybe I don't understand, but what was he supposed to do?  You email him the first time and he emails back.  You email again and he decides that he needs to be upfont and tell you hes not attracted before you become interested in him.  He thinks your cool though and would like to hang out.  I don't understand why you are mad at him.  I understand why you are hurt, but I don't think he did anything wrong.  Personally I would rather know the truth than have him make excuses or just stop talking to me. 

Just my 2 cents FWIW.

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Lib,

Think of the wolf-in-sheep's clothing. They are hitting it off, and then he sends this disarmingly honest-looking proposal: don't worry, I'm not attracted to you at all (so I won't climb all over you over beers)--tho you are cute--so let's meet up!

A lot of guys would like to close the deal (i.e., meet up) quickly, rather than yak-yak-yakking, getting to know each other better first, etc.  What better way to convince someone to meet up? Then, after a few beers, he can say something like, "well, my my, I totally misjudged you on the picture thing! You are cute!"

Then later, when he's sober, he has that get-outta-jail-free card...

The fact that he wrote airchick twice to let her know that yes indeed, he does find her unattractive but would still do her the honor of having a damn beer with her also makes him a bit of a sadist, in my book. I dunno.

Airchick, I agree. Un-fucking-believable.

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Ok maybe I don't understand, but what was he supposed to do?  You email him the first time and he emails back.  You email again and he decides that he needs to be upfont and tell you hes not attracted before you become interested in him.  He thinks your cool though and would like to hang out.  I don't understand why you are mad at him.  I understand why you are hurt, but I don't think he did anything wrong.  Personally I would rather know the truth than have him make excuses or just stop talking to me. 

I've been doing this internet dating thing for years. That was the most incredibly rude thing I have EVER experienced and boy, do I have some tales to relate. The polite thing to do is NOT write back. Writing back implies interest. That is what makes internet dating relatively painless- you never have to be rejected. You send the message out- it goes into the vacuum of cyber space. Once in awhile someone replies back. Bonus! Even if you (for some odd reason) wanted to write back and reject everyone personally (maybe you are a sadist?) it would be near impossible. The first month I was on there I got e-mails from over 100 guys. After a couple of years I still get 5-7 e-mails a week. Rejecting men would be a full time job.

He wrote someone he didn't know to tell her all about himself and then kicks it off by telling her that she is unattractive? I'm not mad- I'm dumbfounded by the incredible lack of social skills this guy displays. Shocked and awed, shall we say.

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But if he's not attracted to her... ::::scratching head::::  why would he have sex with her?

Am I just dense?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Libby,

I don't think you are dense.  I just know from experience, unfortunately, that these types of guys are out there. The "I'm not attracted to you but that doesn't mean we can't have sex"- type. Some women think that "most" men behave this way, but I'd have to disagree.  It takes a special kind of self-centered asshole to assume he can easily pick up random pieces of ass this way (not that you, Artchick, are a random piece of ass).

Jade

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Word.
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But if he's not attracted to her... ::::scratching head::::  why would he have sex with her?

Am I just dense?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Libby,

I don't think you are dense.  I just know from experience, unfortunately, that these types of guys are out there. The "I'm not attracted to you but that doesn't mean we can't have sex"- type. Some women think that "most" men behave this way, but I'd have to disagree.  It takes a special kind of self-centered asshole to assume he can easily pick up random pieces of ass this way (not that you, Artchick, are a random piece of ass).

Jade

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Word.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm glad I date women.

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