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Tomorrow (or today once the clock reaches 12am) is when I have to see my pdoc to be assessed for bp, and to be honest I'm kind of scared... What if she doesn't believe me or downplays my behavior as something else? What if she blames it on my medication? I've had bp symptoms WAY before I ever went on any medications, but what if she doesn't listen to me?

I keep telling myself that I'm going to be fine and that I only need to tell the truth, but I'm still feeling self doubt... I feel foolish for even bringing up this concern to anyone because I'm afraid my therapist will label it as attention-seeking behavior in her notes (Logic says: "No she won't"), my family will say I was just making things up again (even though they don't even know about my concerns), and my pdoc visit will have been for absolutely nothing (this costs $$$ too, so this isn't cheap).

I'm sorry for being such a baby, I'm just a nervous mess right now and I'd really appreciate any words of comfort, encouragement, or whatever else you have to offer. Regardless of the outcome of this appointment, I'm likely going to be very emotional after this and reading some comments might help me to cope a little better.

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27 minutes ago, Bimbo Bear said:

Tomorrow (or today once the clock reaches 12am) is when I have to see my pdoc to be assessed for bp, and to be honest I'm kind of scared... What if she doesn't believe me or downplays my behavior as something else? What if she blames it on my medication? I've had bp symptoms WAY before I ever went on any medications, but what if she doesn't listen to me?

I keep telling myself that I'm going to be fine and that I only need to tell the truth, but I'm still feeling self doubt... I feel foolish for even bringing up this concern to anyone because I'm afraid my therapist will label it as attention-seeking behavior in her notes (Logic says: "No she won't"), my family will say I was just making things up again (even though they don't even know about my concerns), and my pdoc visit will have been for absolutely nothing (this costs $$$ too, so this isn't cheap).

I'm sorry for being such a baby, I'm just a nervous mess right now and I'd really appreciate any words of comfort, encouragement, or whatever else you have to offer. Regardless of the outcome of this appointment, I'm likely going to be very emotional after this and reading some comments might help me to cope a little better.


First off, you are not a big baby and you are not foolish to bring up anything.  I would be very nervous too if I were going to an appt for similar reasons you have.

Yes, tell the truth.  No matter what, tell the truth.  Not only will it be needed to help you (ie if you lie how can they help you? ... plus the expense ... why lie if you are spending $$$ on her?), but also IME find it is a way to see their initial reaction/s to something (which are IMO/IME are usually the accurate ones).   If the reactions of something make you to feel like pdoc doesn't believe you, downplays your behavior as something else, blames something on your medication, sees you as attention-seeking, and/or doesn't listen to you (or whatever else) ... if this is how she treats you, personally I would look around for another one.  This kind of pdoc IMO would not be helpful.  *But I think it is worth trying out because she could be total opposite of all your concerns.

If I were made to feel like I wasn't being listened to or not believed or downplaying anything I say/think, sees me as attention-seeking (or whatever else), I would say something like maybe 'are you listening to me' (just asking in a questionable way).  Or 'why don't you believe me' ... questions that question why she is thinking the way she is (if you are confused about anything).  There may be a misunderstanding between you.  If that makes sense. 

I hope your appt goes really well and that this pdoc is a good match for you!

 

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First of all: good luck with the appointment! And I don't think you're being a baby, I'd be nervous too. I still remember the mess I was when I went through the autism diagnostic process, but in the end everything worked out (the bp assessment still needs to be done, so yeah...)

I think @melissaw72 mentioned pretty good tips, hopefully they'll ease the stress a little bit.

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Best of luck with your assessment! Honestly you're not a baby for having concerns. When I first told my tdoc that I had been acting (according to a friend) weird and describing what I had been experiencing, I was so afraid she'd say it was a normal reaction to stress or something. I was terrified to bring it up. But she actually took my concerns seriously and established that I was probably hypomanic (which escalated to full blown mania by the end of the week but I digress). 

Point being, while some shitty pdocs and tdocs will dismiss you, these fears are often unfounded and end up inaccurate. Just don't downplay your pain and always tell the truth!

And listen to @melissaw72's advice, cause it's good advice.

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Well, that went over well. I was slightly nervous as I talked, but I did it. My pdoc listened to me and basically I just got diagnosed with Bipolar II. Also I start Latuda today so that's lovely... wtf, I thought I was gonna be distraught after this. Why am I feeling relief instead? Very rude of my emotions to be so unpredictable. >_> (I'm kidding, this is great)

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4 hours ago, Bimbo Bear said:

Well, that went over well. I was slightly nervous as I talked, but I did it. My pdoc listened to me and basically I just got diagnosed with Bipolar II. Also I start Latuda today so that's lovely... wtf, I thought I was gonna be distraught after this. Why am I feeling relief instead? Very rude of my emotions to be so unpredictable. >_> (I'm kidding, this is great)

I'm glad the appt went well!

I think you might feel relieved because the anticipation leading up to it was very stressful and now that you have gotten everything out of your head that you wanted to say, that, at least for me, is like a weight lifted off of my shoulders and a sigh of relief.  The unpredictability of it all also might have added to the stress. 

So getting this all out of your system, telling your pdoc about everything ... you did it, and now that part (probably the hardest part of it all) is done.  The unpredictability of it is over with.

Anyway, I hope this makes sense.  But I would also feel really relieved.  Idk about you, but I would be sleeping well tonight!

 

 

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3 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

I'm glad the appt went well!

I think you might feel relieved because the anticipation leading up to it was very stressful and now that you have gotten everything out of your head that you wanted to say, that, at least for me, is like a weight lifted off of my shoulders and a sigh of relief.  The unpredictability of it all also might have added to the stress. 

So getting this all out of your system, telling your pdoc about everything ... you did it, and now that part (probably the hardest part of it all) is done.  The unpredictability of it is over with.

Anyway, I hope this makes sense.  But I would also feel really relieved.  Idk about you, but I would be sleeping well tonight!

 

 

You hit that pin right on the head, lol! And yeah, i think I'll sleep well tonight too, especially since I hear Latuda can make you drowsy. XD

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