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why am I nervous?


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I've never been "nervous" exactly before a therapy appt. More like "this is a hassle, let's get it over with". I'm suddenly having butterflies, and if they didn't have a 24 hour cancellation policy, I'd back out today. I need to go check my little pharmacy, and see if I need any new scripts. Have to drop daughter off at friend's house. I just don't know. My hands are cold, my stomach feels in knots periodically.

Go and get it over with. Go and get it over with. Go and get it over with.

Gotta get moving. Maybe I can catch a few minutes of Spongebob before I leave.

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Hey Rabbit:

  well there could be several reasons. Are you over on your meds? Do you not like this p-doc? Or most importantly: is there something on your mind you think will come out that you don't want to?

  I get butterfles too sometimes, but my p-doc is very awesome and she has a way of calming my unsettled nerves when I get there.

  I don't know about you, but we spend the whole hour talking about me. And sometimes "I don't wanna"

  Try this for an ice breaker, cracked my p-doc up one day " oh let's not talk about me today, let's talk about you. We ALWAYS talk about me."

  Good luck.  Usually isn't as bad as we think it's going to be.

Breeze

'

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Hi Rabbit,

It'll be over before you know it. Just keep telling yourself that in what? 2 hours from now? You'll be all done, hot crusty toasty bagel in hand.

Would it help to guarantee the bagel to yourself, regardless of outcome?

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I think it is perfectly natural. It took me about a year to get past being shaky and dreading each appointment.

I have an appointment today and have been going over and over the things that I need to talk about, what she will ask me, whether I should tell her certain things (like how I slipped the last couple weeks, reduced my meds and started thinking about checking out).

All this, and I just do meds with my Pdoc, not therapy. It ISN"T easy to talk about yourself and the painful things in your life. And therapy sessions can be quite painful for days afterwards.  But we get better by facing and dealing with our fears and concerns.

Rather than ask about your Pdocs personal life (which I think is inappropriate), lead off with this very subject. About how hard it is to come to sessions.  How you feel and how you deal with it. You could even print out this post and hand it to the doc to start off if it is too hard.

Hang in there. 

A.M.

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Rather than ask about your Pdocs personal life (which I think is inappropriate),

That was a joke AM. I am known by many, including my p-doc, as one who "avoids" issues with my humor. An old defense mechanism. One we are working on.

I didn't really intend that Rabbit should use this, it was an attempt to lighten her heavy mood.

I admire anyone who can go in and lay it out. It is very hard. It's exhausting, and it's emotional. But you are right on AM - you don't get anywhere if you don't try.

Sorry for the confusion, this darn medium does that. Taken at face value.

Breeze

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AM: I knew Breeze was kidding. It was hard today, and I left with way too much to think about. He's already saif that therapy is going to be difficult, as I'm a lifer when it comes to some of my attitudes/personality problems, and deep down it's too scary to work on change. Thanks for the words of encouragement, they're always welcome!

Breeze: Thanks. Well, I'm trying (after a holiday break) to get back onto a modified Atkins, so the bagel would be a treat. I had a whole grain, with honey walnut cream, and a coffee with half & half. So that tells you about my session!

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