Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

doctor won't diagnose me yet I'm on certain meds :/


Recommended Posts

life story-I'm 24 and I've been up and down from the age of 12.. I turned very aggressive, full of myself, started sleeping with a few guys at 13.

when I was 15 I had a son(planned by me), moved out of home at 16, things spiralled then.

I had parties every weekend, drinking ALOT and taking a lot of drugs aswell, ended up giving my son to my mum.. in this time I must of slept with 20+ men. this was in the space of 6 months.. in that time I kept changing my mind about getting my son back but my life was not the right place for him to be.. I spent every single penny as soon as it went in my bank on rubbish and drink and alcohol..

anyway I got kicked out and moved back to mums where I locked myself in her attack  (my bedroom) for 3 months..

then I suppose I was "normal" got a job, got a bond back with my son, wasn't snappy and irritable, not bothered about sex at all, was just sorting my life out I thought things were good and my future was looking good .. this lasted for about a year..

then I started to hear pigs in the bushes on my 2 mile walk home from work.. could feel people putting bugs in my hair on busses, could hear people's thoughts about me so i got my license.. i became really unreliable in work (whereas for the whole year i used to walk 2 miles to get a bus and wait in work for an hour before starting),

I got back in a relationship with my sons dad, the next day slept with a stranger, 2 days later drove 4 hours away to spend the night with a guy I hadn't seen or spoken to in 3 years, on the way back from there i thought "let's go get my tongue pierced" so i did. then me and my sons dad moved in together.. i planned to get pregnant with him without him knowing.. had a miscarriage..

met another stranger and finished with my sons dad for this guy.. within a week I had lost my home and my license and my job.. my uncle let me live in a caravan on his farm.. I stayed there for a few messy months and then put myself in homeless accommodation, all the while being (again) full of myself, aggressive, arguing and fighting, even hit my sister because I thought she was taking someone else's side  (which she completely denied) so my mum thought that was me hallucinating! took drugs and drank alot of alcohol again. got tattoos and Piercings being impulsive.. argued alot. planned to get pregnant again. I had a few miscarriages due to my lifestyle..

then moved back to the house I moved into when I was 16 with this new partner.. domestic abuse on his side.. allowed him to woe my best friend while I was depressed at home which led to him sleeping with her, he ended up going to jail for nearly killing someone..

I met a guy on the run then he went to jail and started writing to him, got in a relationship with him. started sleeping with an underage boy.. he moved away.. I got made homeless again for the same reasons as last time (have to add that both times I left the house in an absolute state) moved to my grandads, was depressed and overdosed.. he tried touching me up so I moved into a mates with my best mate, started sleeping with my best mate, finished with the guy in jail (who I visited every week 2 hours away and sent him extremely sexual letters and no pictures knowing the guards would be looking at them too)

got in a relationship with my best mate, got made homeless again, got raped, got pregnant then with my boyfriend, the whole pregnancy I was crazy angry (never been like that in my life) he was stillborn, was depressed due to that,

then got pregnant again and I led a normal life the whole pregnancy and afterwards, got pregnant again when she was 6 months old, still leading a normal life even though I was spending like crazy.. got £3000 compo and spent it all that day..

gave birth and went on a downward spiral, hating my life, my kids, my boyfriend.. cutting myself, overdosed when my youngest was a few months old, although i got a loan for £3000 and spent it all again the same day.. got referred to psychiatrists who put me on antidepressants  ( tried alot of antidepressants over the years and they worked for about a month then stopped so I tried upping them but they kept putting me on an extreme high for the month then depressed before upping them again)

well this time was the same so they put me on lamotrigine aswell but the same happened and then I tried to end my life again so I stopped the medication (cold turkey) which then put me on a high.. the psychiatrist then put me on quetiapine 100mg because i was extremely angry with my partner,kids and friends but was high as in ocd, very active, talkative, racing thoughts, same song over and over again which caused me to "gurn" during the day. but told me to take them as and when i needed to but I didn't want to be a zombie in the day so I just took 25mg at night which gave me a good night's sleep but I still woke up extremely angry so I went docs and now I'm back on lamotrigine and taking quetiapine every night..

now I feel normal, happy, life is good but then again I've only been like this for a couple of days.. psychiatrist won't diagnose me but has put me on these meds.. would they work this well if I was "normal" not bipolar? sorry for the essay but I had to give the whole picture hah ?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just posted in the bipolar thread of "anyone want to share" my response to this.

Here is my reply to that post (same one as this topic):

I'm sorry for your loss.  That would have sent me into a spiral also.

(in bold)  Idk if the meds you were/are on would work as well as if you were "normal" bipolar or not.  It is nice to have a diagnosis, but the treatment is important also.  I think it is important to work on the symptoms to be treated, no matter what your diagnosis is. 

So I take it that you have a current psychiatrist (pdoc)?   If it were me, I would be very honest about everything with pdoc, including how you are taking meds (or not) right now.  I would also get medications settled with pdoc (and taken as prescribed ... no cold turkey, no adjusting meds without pdoc's ok).  I think that would be a good start because other things in life that are a problem might fall into place.

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just think if I was diagnosed it'd make it easier to "fix" me..

one of my pdoc's wants to diagnose me but the other doesn't want to as she hasn't "seen" me manic/hypomanic.. this is hard as every time i go to the pdoc I seem to be on a "normal" level weather I'm high or low outside of there.. I think it's because I'm not comfortable enough around them and as we are there to "fix" me I think there is a sense of relief when I am around them..

Yeah the pdoc knew I stopped the meds and she told me to take the quetiapine as and when i needed it.. I haven't seen her since putting myself back on the lamotrigine just waiting for the appointment..

sorry about the double business.. Couldn't find my posts ?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, shweaty said:

I just think if I was diagnosed it'd make it easier to "fix" me..

I don't think so because no matter what your diagnosis is, the treatment will be the same. 

Whether your pdoc diagnosed you bipolar or ie, SZ, and you were taking (whatever meds) and they were helping, then the diagnosis doesn't matter as much, IMO.  I mean it is important IME to have a diagnosis, but with me at least the treatment would be the same if I was re-diagnosed with something else (ie SZA -> bipolar, or whatever).  Does that make sense? 

2 hours ago, shweaty said:

one of my pdoc's wants to diagnose me but the other doesn't want to as she hasn't "seen" me manic/hypomanic

Oh that sucks.  I am so sorry that the pdoc has to "see" something before diagnosing, even temporarily.  I guess what I would do if my pdoc didn't believe me and had to "see" to believe, the next time I became symptomatic, I'd make a point in letting pdoc know, however way you can.  ie Call the office to talk to him, ask to be seen, if he won't see you, then I'd say something to the point of that you are trying to let him observe/see you when symptomatic, seeing that is the only way he'll diagnose you.  I absolutely hate when people have to "see" to believe.  It hits a nerve with me.

2 hours ago, shweaty said:

Yeah the pdoc knew I stopped the meds and she told me to take the quetiapine as and when i needed it.. I haven't seen her since putting myself back on the lamotrigine just waiting for the appointment..

When is your next appt?  If not soon, I would call pdoc and leave a message that you put yourself back on lamictal ... and the appt you have scheduled now might just move up closer to sooner.

Lamictal isn't one to go on and off of.  None of them are.  But with lamictal, the titration starts slow, and then you work your way up in small increments. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

I don't think so because no matter what your diagnosis is, the treatment will be the same. 

Whether your pdoc diagnosed you bipolar or ie, SZ, and you were taking (whatever meds) and they were helping, then the diagnosis doesn't matter as much, IMO.  I mean it is important IME to have a diagnosis, but with me at least the treatment would be the same if I was re-diagnosed with something else (ie SZA -> bipolar, or whatever).  Does that make sense? 

Oh that sucks.  I am so sorry that the pdoc has to "see" something before diagnosing, even temporarily.  I guess what I would do if my pdoc didn't believe me and had to "see" to believe, the next time I became symptomatic, I'd make a point in letting pdoc know, however way you can.  ie Call the office to talk to him, ask to be seen, if he won't see you, then I'd say something to the point of that you are trying to let him observe/see you when symptomatic, seeing that is the only way he'll diagnose you.  I absolutely hate when people have to "see" to believe.  It hits a nerve with me.

When is your next appt?  If not soon, I would call pdoc and leave a message that you put yourself back on lamictal ... and the appt you have scheduled now might just move up closer to sooner.

Lamictal isn't one to go on and off of.  None of them are.  But with lamictal, the titration starts slow, and then you work your way up in small increments. 

Yeah I think I will call her tomorrow and say about the lamictal.. 

Yeah it makes me feel like I should just stop my meds so he can see me at my highest -_- they've seen me at my lowest and "normalish" just not high but I don't even think id be high enough around them coz I'm not myself around professionals :/ I have a mood diary that I've started but I still don't think that's gonna be enough :( what is sza? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, shweaty said:

but I don't even think id be high enough around them coz I'm not myself around professionals :/

How about over the phone with a professional?  Do you feel more comfortable being more yourself over the phone?

That is why I was saying how when you become symptomatic with hypo/mania, call your pdoc to let him know ... and ask if he can see you then, making sure to add that you are asking for this appt because he (pdoc) needs to "see" to believe ... and you are letting him know you are symptomatic now, and that you want him to "see" you to prove what you have been describing to him (but that he isn't believing because he hasn't "seen" it).

SZA = schizoaffective

SZ = schizophrenia

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't recommend stopping your meds. Do you have a choice in pdocs? (I am sorry if you said that already) It does sound like you are being treated for bipolar even if they aren't diagnosing it as such, but yes I agree a proper diagnosis will help your treatment. That sounds really frustrating.

Are they not sure if you have depression or bipolar? and then what type of bipolar?

sza is schizoaffective disorder. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, melissaw72 said:

How about over the phone with a professional?  Do you feel more comfortable being more yourself over the phone?

That is why I was saying how when you become symptomatic with hypo/mania, call your pdoc to let him know ... and ask if he can see you then, making sure to add that you are asking for this appt because he (pdoc) needs to "see" to believe ... and you are letting him know you are symptomatic now, and that you want him to "see" you to prove what you have been describing to him (but that he isn't believing because he hasn't "seen" it).

SZA = schizoaffective

SZ = schizophrenia

that is a great idea :) thank you!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, confused said:

I don't recommend stopping your meds. Do you have a choice in pdocs? (I am sorry if you said that already) It does sound like you are being treated for bipolar even if they aren't diagnosing it as such, but yes I agree a proper diagnosis will help your treatment. That sounds really frustrating.

Are they not sure if you have depression or bipolar? and then what type of bipolar?

sza is schizoaffective disorder. 

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was a teen but I've been up and down most of my life.. I guess the docs never saw me high aschool they only saw me when I tried overdosing.. now though I'm seeing 2 psychiatrists 1 of which wants to diagnose me the other needs to see me on a high.. I told the one who needs to see it that I think I'm bipolar 2 as I don't really hallucinate and do bizarre things although I get rapid speech/thoughts, spend all my money in an instant, sexual. I just feel like I'm on drugs when I'm on a high ?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...