25842 Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 Hello everyone thank you for coming in to read the thread. To begin I suffer more from cases of Episodes rather than having an on going problem. When I had my episodes it was this bizarre "seeing events as all being connected" thing rather than hearing voices or seeing people who weren't there. Also there was strange beliefs such as I thought for case I had an all metal skeleton. Now however my biggest problem is I feel that I'm disconnected from people as in I cannot make an Emotional connection with people. I don't if this relates to the medication I am on. It is so bad in fact that for instance talking or making posts on the internet I become super cryptic because I guess I am unwilling to be vulnerable. I want to post more I need help in developing my writing at the moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
confused Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 Hi. Nice to meet you. i have had that experience. Where I see patterns and connections. I don't remember what they call that (loose associations?) but it isn't uncommon. I have strange beliefs, too. They call them "delusions", but I have some doubts. i don't know what you mean about not being able to make connections with people. Do you feel numb? Spacey? Anxious? Nothing? i have felt emotionally flat from medication, but I also have some coping mechanisms where I numb or space out (dissociate). you are in the right place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mellifluous Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 Greetings and welcome : ) i can relate to what you're struggling with. Glad you are here, -Melli xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissaw72 Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 2 hours ago, 25842 said: When I had my episodes it was this bizarre "seeing events as all being connected" thing rather than hearing voices or seeing people who weren't there. Like @confused said above, I've had the loose associations before too (when off meds). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
25842 Posted January 22, 2017 Author Share Posted January 22, 2017 (edited) 2 hours ago, confused said: Hi. Nice to meet you. i have had that experience. Where I see patterns and connections. I don't remember what they call that (loose associations?) but it isn't uncommon. I have strange beliefs, too. They call them "delusions", but I have some doubts. i don't know what you mean about not being able to make connections with people. Do you feel numb? Spacey? Anxious? Nothing? i have felt emotionally flat from medication, but I also have some coping mechanisms where I numb or space out (dissociate). you are in the right place. It's kinda what I am experiencing on my medication but, I don't totally feel it is the medication, really more of being shy through out most of my younger years. I'm on a 5mg dose a day of abilify. Due to how low it is I can't really say the medication has any effect on my personality then again I don't really know. See struggle with the most as well, is trying to express myself. Like for example my postings so far, they could be so much better if I had put some emotion into it. Edited January 22, 2017 by 25842 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
confused Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 Is that part of your personality? You may just be more analytical. and, it is really hard to read tone. i don't mean to dismiss something that is troubling you. Just trying to understand. when I came out of an episode I was afraid to deal with things that were not tangible. I thought I would get caught up in my thoughts again. In things that were not real. It took me awhile to trust myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
25842 Posted January 22, 2017 Author Share Posted January 22, 2017 2 minutes ago, confused said: Is that part of your personality? You may just be more analytical. and, it is really hard to read tone. i don't mean to dismiss something that is troubling you. Just trying to understand. when I came out of an episode I was afraid to deal with things that were not tangible. I thought I would get caught up in my thoughts again. In things that were not real. It took me awhile to trust myself. I think your spot on here about being analytical. I never can tell when an episode fully ends, I can just feel the intensity lessen. For all I know I had a minor episode back in December that was very contained via a cognitive thought process. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
confused Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 Yeah, I can't really tell when they begin or end Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strange eyes Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 (edited) are you having "ideas of reference" possibly? here's a link describing what these are Quote Persons with ideas of reference may experience: Believing that 'somehow everyone on a passing city bus is talking about them, yet they may be able to acknowledge this is unlikely'.[18] A feeling that people on television or radio are talking about or talking directly to them Believing that headlines or stories in newspapers are written especially for them Believing that events (even world events) have been deliberately contrived for them, or have special personal significance for them Believing that the lyrics of a song are specifically about them Believing that the normal function of cell phones, computers, and other electronic devices are sending secret and significant messages that only they can understand or believe. Seeing objects or events as being set up deliberately to convey a special or particular meaning to themselves Thinking 'that the slightest careless movement on the part of another person had great personal meaning...increased significance'.[19] Thinking that posts on social network websites or Internet blogs have hidden meanings pertaining to them. Believing that the behavior of others is in reference to an abnormal, offensive body odor, which in reality is non-existent and cannot be detected by others (see: olfactory reference syndrome). I duno, this might seem unrelated and it might be but when I was having ideas of reference, I thought everything in the universe was ultimately interconnected and personally significant down to the slightest circumstance in regard to my "destiny." Edited January 24, 2017 by strange eyes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissaw72 Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 @strange eyes has a good idea that maybe things are 'ideas of reference.' After reading the OP and then about the ideas of reference, I now see the difference between those and loose associations. IMO it seems like the OP is describing things more like ideas of reference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
25842 Posted February 2, 2017 Author Share Posted February 2, 2017 On 1/24/2017 at 2:37 PM, strange eyes said: are you having "ideas of reference" possibly? here's a link describing what these are I duno, this might seem unrelated and it might be but when I was having ideas of reference, I thought everything in the universe was ultimately interconnected and personally significant down to the slightest circumstance in regard to my "destiny." I think you really hit the nail on the head right there! Thank you for posting! Right now I'm stable and have been managing symptoms. However back in December I had a very slight case about what you posted, it was mainly to do with reading the titles of forum threads thinking they were all about me, or at least the psychotic believe that I was looking at "collective mind" and the thread titles were "thoughts". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strange eyes Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 glad i could help @25842 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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