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Hello cloudmonger. I found I could relate to some of your experiences. I dont seem to be able to think clearly to make a sensible response right now. I just wonder why you say it would be a failure to leave that place? Maybe somewhere else would be more suited to your way of life and that could be regarded as a success couldnt it? I say this because I went through similar kind of agonies a few years ago, altghough my situation was not exactly the same I admit.

 

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3 hours ago, deckpoop said:

Hello cloudmonger. I found I could relate to some of your experiences. I dont seem to be able to think clearly to make a sensible response right now. I just wonder why you say it would be a failure to leave that place? Maybe somewhere else would be more suited to your way of life and that could be regarded as a success couldnt it? I say this because I went through similar kind of agonies a few years ago, altghough my situation was not exactly the same I admit.

What experiences do you relate to the most about my post? How did you solve the problem/situations?

I haven't been on here much at all lately. I stopped going on FB shortly after this post. I realized I was living my life via Facebook in order to feel connected to ppl I know and it was making me feel much worse. I was yearning to have this "perfect" life that they all portray, which doesn't exist. I didn't cancel my account but deleted the app from my phone so i cannot check it easily whenever. It's just so damn fake! No one ever posts about weakness, challenges or when they are struggling & need help/support. I believe authenticity & humility are 2 of the best qualities you can have. For me, Facebook is not the place to go to connect to authentic lives, situations, etc. I feel like realizing this has helped.

I can't just take off and move because my spouse just started his dream career/job here. He is foreign and it would be a long process to get him a visa for the US, let alone also find him a job that is decent :-( I only wish sometimes that i could just pack up, but he is the only thing that keeps me going at times. I don't know how old you are, but when you get to be my age you crave settling down. An awesome partner is really tough to find. I've been told if you find that special "someone" hang on, never stop appreciating that person and never let them go.

 

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Hello cloudmonger. Sorry for the delay in replying. It sounds like you are in quite a different situation to me. I am single, coming up for 40 this year. I moved away to a different continent for work reasons. It didnt work out well for me psychologically. It was like every single thing i did was deemed to be wrong and offensive by definition. After 3 years i had a breakdown and went back to live with family. But without a job or independence i felt awful so i went back. After another 4 years i finally got a job back nearer home. And it has been a lot better for me here. It is still a foreign country with a different language but the mindset is different and less uncomfortable for me.

Regarding relationships i have no idea because i have been in relationships for a total of about a week and a half. I am not sure if i could hang onto anyone. But i can certainly see your point.

 

Edited by deckpoop

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There's plenty of research that says Facebook makes people unhappy.

http://www.npr.org/sections/alltechconsidered/2013/08/19/213568763/researchers-facebook-makes-us-sadder-and-less-satisfied

Some of the research is contradictory, but a useful view of the contradictions lies in whether on is an active or passive user.

http://www.newyorker.com/tech/elements/how-facebook-makes-us-unhappy

Personally, I don't use it and never have. In my view, posting personal information about your life, your likes, dislikes, etc., is insane. Furthermore I decline to be monetized insofar as I can avoid it.

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I feel the exact same way about Facebook. I have it still because I do want old friends to be able to contact me if they feel like it, not that I respond most of the time.

I only use the messenger function. I just have the messenger app on my phone, not the main FB one. I never look at the news feed or other people's photos and profiles.

I suggest you do the same.

i

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On 25/01/2017 at 0:03 PM, ananke said:

I think deleting a network of people (however annoying/achieving/motivational) might be a bit much if it's being fuelled by depressive thoughts. Not saying you are wrong for having these feelings, but I've suffered from decision-making-regret many a time over something I did from a relatively temporary feeling. You can unfollow (?) people I think? So they are still in your friends list (and you can message them and everything) but you can't see their public posts. Maybe that'd be a good intermediary? 

I just checked and yeah, I think you can hide peoples posts. FB doesn't alert the person that you've done this to, so it's a possibility? 

I despise those profit prophets who make money from people who are just trying to better themselves. Like health-nut conspiracy theorists who think 'big pharma' is hiding evidence that gluten causes cancer or vaccines cause autism (they don't) because vegetables are less profitable than drugs. Then they write books about their shitty diet plan claiming baking soda shrinks tumours (it doesn't). It's amazing how Big Pharma is all about the money but they are very happy to accept cheques from book sales.

Sorry got off topic. Point is- that kind of 'visualise it and it'll happen!' is crap, because I walked into a shrinks office hoping for depression treatment and walked out with two personality disorders :P

I get bitter and jealous over friends. I even get jealous for past me, when I was just worrying about whether or not I could find a good anti-depressant. None of us asked to be mentally ill, to have to constantly sacrifice major and minor parts of our lives to placate the mental demons. It's shitty. 

(P.S. isn't it funny that the people who are most attached to that kind of 'put those thoughts into the universe' attitude always seem to have stable lives and good careers? Like maybe this wasn't the universe but a number of inter-related factors that have nothing to do with space)

Screen Shot 2017-01-25 at 00.49.43.png

My mother is one of those people. She has a high paying career only working part time, great health and tons of friends and hobbies. 

She says my troubles are caused by evil things I did in a past life...

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... evil things in a past life? What? Your mother? Sorry, but nothing bad that has happened to you was because of a past life (whether you believe in past lives or not). Sometimes life just sucks without reason. Sometimes being as good a person in this life is about the best anyone can do.

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