Sensation Posted January 25, 2006 Share Posted January 25, 2006 I was thinking today what do I have to live for? You know like a kid or a cat or something that needs me. The days just go by and I get older and older and this just loops. If I dont have constant excitement I feel stuck. When all the good shows go off and it starts to turn 11pm I feel dread at having to face work atmosphere again and be reminded of how much everyone else has and be envy of their confidence and their ability to make friends and do their job well. Why do I feel so inferior? Is it all because i wasnt treated extraordinarily special as a child? Is that it? Is it all because I am not appreciated at any job and I am not put on a pedestal as the model worker? I fail at work , my relationships are short and dysfunctional. I havent made any friends in the eight years that I have moved here. I never have company at my apartment. I mean what is there for me to be happy about really? yes I have parents and a sibling but I dont have a life of my own. I never moved on from childhood. I did things like go to college etc, but whats next after that? Am I done? What purpose is next? I'm completely stumped as to what I am here for except to endure pain. yeah that should be my new name endurance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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