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Diagnosis is in, so what does it mean


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So I guess is officially have BP 2, along with a laundry list of other things.  So now that I have been dubbed mentally ill, what does this all mean?  Does this mean my whole life I have seen the world through a mental illness prism?  That what I believe in or stood for is wrong or delusional because it came from a crazy person?  I have core beliefs, tenants that I live my life by (hence the Batman reference in my moniker) so does this make me wrong?  Sad to think that but by definition my mind responds to information differently that others.  So my reaction to information could be skewed too. This is a lot more to think about than I thought.  

Side note: I can't decide whether I would rather be called crazy than mentally ill.  Neither seem appealing but somehow crazy seems a tad better.  

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Ok, this is just a facet of your personality. It may color most things, but it doesn't change who you are. It doesn't undermine everything you knew and know. You have a mental illness, sure, but that doesn't mean you -are- mental illness. It takes time to adjust to a diagnosis, but try to remember you are not your dx, you just have one. Let it provide a roadmap to help you through tough times rather than a sentence you have to serve. Thinking about it that way has helped me a lot.

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1 hour ago, BatsBelfry said:

So I guess is officially have BP 2, along with a laundry list of other things.  So now that I have been dubbed mentally ill, what does this all mean?  Does this mean my whole life I have seen the world through a mental illness prism?  That what I believe in or stood for is wrong or delusional because it came from a crazy person?  I have core beliefs, tenants that I live my life by (hence the Batman reference in my moniker) so does this make me wrong?  Sad to think that but by definition my mind responds to information differently that others.  So my reaction to information could be skewed too. This is a lot more to think about than I thought.  

Side note: I can't decide whether I would rather be called crazy than mentally ill.  Neither seem appealing but somehow crazy seems a tad better.  

This is how I see things through my eyes ... every one is different in how they are treated.

I'm going to speak personally, how MI effects me.  Now that I have MI, i am seen through the world as a person with a MI.  Example, when I go to the ER for a medical reason, they treat me not like a medical situation, and it feels degrading.  Doesn't make me any different, it just skews other's minds (including DRs) as to who I am (even though I haven't changed).  The only thing that changed was that I now have a MI.  I am sometimes judged (not by all, but some) because of it. I still have my core beliefs, but I am looked at/treated differently because of MI.  But YMMV.

I am also seen as someone who is NOT a reliable witness, or being believed, or anything like that.  Someone without MI has to confirm what I say or they have to see it on paper to believe what I say.

(bold) I wouldn't say I am "crazy."  I have a MI.  But to answer your question, even though what you believed in or stood for hasn't changed, others might see it differently.  It does NOT make you wrong about anything though.

When I first was diagnosed with a MI (actually I didn't have a problem until 4 years after I started prozac), everything changed. 

Not everyone experiences the things I wrote about in this post, but this is IME.

 

I think @ZenOut  has some really good points (I highlighted them in bold):

1 hour ago, ZenOut said:

Ok, this is just a facet of your personality. It may color most things, but it doesn't change who you are. It doesn't undermine everything you knew and know. You have a mental illness, sure, but that doesn't mean you -are- mental illness. It takes time to adjust to a diagnosis, but try to remember you are not your dx, you just have one. Let it provide a roadmap to help you through tough times rather than a sentence you have to serve. Thinking about it that way has helped me a lot.

 

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It means... Welcome to the Jungle! GNR fan.

jk. It doesn't mean anything except that you have a chemical imbalance in your brain and an illness just like any other illness .you are the same person. Just like ZenOut said.. you are not your diagnosis . 

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Hello, BatsBelfry; first of all, welcome to CB. I hope you find what you need here, and if you have any problems sorting out how the site works, please feel free to PM me or one of the other mods.

My belief is that the core tenets of your philosophy will not change. If you are a person who values social justice, for example, you will remain a person who values social justice. What changed most for me was the instability of my short-term enthusiasms and the vigor of my reactions to new ideas and people. 

I'm very sorry, I'm going to have to continue this later. 

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To echo what others here have said, one is the same person before and after a diagnosis - a diagnosis does not change who you are. You will have the same values, beliefs, interests, and so on regardless. Sometimes it will change how others see you, if they are aware of it, unfortunately, but this varies and is not consistent between different people one interacts with. For instance, I have had the opposite experience to melissa's; people may know, whether I have told them or not, that I have a mood disorder, but I do not feel they treat me any differently from anyone else because of it. However, the thing that makes me different from melissa is that very few people IRL know I have psychotic symptoms - my dx does not obviously indicate psychosis, I can hide my positive symptoms, and few get to really see my negative symptoms - and psychosis in particular does have a stigma, more so than garden-variety mood disorders.

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I think I missed the mark with some of you.  What I mean is finding out I am mentally ill now means that I very well may have been most of my life.  So does that mean that all the things I did in my life , where it was based on my moral compass or thought process, came from a place of a mentally ill person?  That the reason I may have stood alone or dug in deeper than others wasn't because I cared more, it was because my thoughts were wrong?  For me that's the first hurdle to get over, now that I know what I am. 

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Yes, your past actions likely were influenced by your mental illness; many people go long periods of being symptomatic before they are properly diagnosed and treated. Note that I would not say that this means your thoughts were wrong, being symptomatic is not wrong in the first place.

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7 hours ago, BatsBelfry said:

I think I missed the mark with some of you.  What I mean is finding out I am mentally ill now means that I very well may have been most of my life.  So does that mean that all the things I did in my life , where it was based on my moral compass or thought process, came from a place of a mentally ill person?  That the reason I may have stood alone or dug in deeper than others wasn't because I cared more, it was because my thoughts were wrong?  For me that's the first hurdle to get over, now that I know what I am. 

Idk.  If your morals and thought process you had throughout your life came from you, I don't think they'd be any different from now that you've been diagnosed.  All that changed was that you got a diagnosis ... not what you did and believed in from the past. 

Maybe you didn't have a MI your whole life ... I don't think I had a MI my whole life.  I think it was a bunch of combining factors that happened all at once (kind of like the perfect storm), which led to the MI.  I don't think it was one thing. So I don't think it was always there.

If everything in your life was based on being MI/came from someone with a MI (before you were diagnosed with a MI), I don't think your morals and beliefs changed when diagnosed.  The only thing that changed was that you have a diagnosis now.

I don't think any of your thoughts were wrong.  I don't think they would be any different/change.  I mean, did all your thoughts change after you found out your diagnosis?  Did anything (ie morals, thought process, etc) suddenly change?  I'm guessing they didn't.

** I'm having a hard time wording things right now, so I hope this is understandable.  Please let me know if it isn't, or if I am going in a totally different direction than you are asking about.

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I used to know someone who was paralyzed. He refused to be called by his diagnosis. He said he wasn't "his condition", he was a person and that he was who he was, regardless of any label put on him. I think of his reasoning from time to time, because I think I want that sense of self. And I think that's the same with MI. You are you regardless of your "condition", as he put it, it's not what makes you. That's my opinion anyway and I hope it made sense, since it's not exactly the same. 

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I want to thank everyone for their support.  It really means a lot.  I'm struggling with how I am supposed to be and it's nice to have people to talk to.  Yesterday I went from instant and extreme anger to happiness to the point I was wearing weird hats on my head at work to deep sadness to feeling normal but tired.  Sometimes I don't think I am bipolar and that I just talked the Pdoc and Tdoc into it.  I'm struggling to find my peace with all this I guess.  I guess I don't believe myself at this point. 

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2 hours ago, BatsBelfry said:

I want to thank everyone for their support.  It really means a lot.  I'm struggling with how I am supposed to be and it's nice to have people to talk to.  Yesterday I went from instant and extreme anger to happiness to the point I was wearing weird hats on my head at work to deep sadness to feeling normal but tired.  Sometimes I don't think I am bipolar and that I just talked the Pdoc and Tdoc into it.  I'm struggling to find my peace with all this I guess.  I guess I don't believe myself at this point. 

Sounds like you might be in a mixed state.  Have you seen/talked to your pdoc lately?

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