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I have made a stupid fucking mistake.

Today I was meant to have an interview with a company that will help me get a traineeship/apprenticeship, but stupid, stupid me slept in and now there is no way I can make it in time. I've already had to delay the appointment once, I really don't want to do it again. I was going to book a taxi but I don't have enough money. I just feel like I'm spiraling and my urges to hurt myself are increasing... I just don't know what to do. I feel if I do hurt myself I deserve it.

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No, please don't hurt yourself. You do not deserve hurting yourself, and it will just make the situation that much worse. Do what you have to do to try to get the appointment rescheduled. Treat this as a learning experience and do better next time.

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1 hour ago, jt07 said:

No, please don't hurt yourself. You do not deserve hurting yourself, and it will just make the situation that much worse. Do what you have to do to try to get the appointment rescheduled. Treat this as a learning experience and do better next time.

You're right, sorry. I just hope I haven't ruined my chances...

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Hey foxy_jesus, I'm sorry to hear this happened. Interviews are so stressful even for those without MI. I've made similar mistakes with missing things in the past and can relate to how you feel. I hope you can stay safe and not hurt yourself; as jt07 said, you don't deserve hurting yourself. Please try to be gentle to yourself if you can. I hope that you can reschedule the appointment again, although it is understandable also if you let this one go. Was this company one you were really passionate about working with, or just a possible option you were prepared to try? Whichever way, more opportunities will come in time, especially if it is the latter. 

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On 2/1/2017 at 5:09 PM, foxy_jesus said:

I have made a stupid fucking mistake.

Today I was meant to have an interview with a company that will help me get a traineeship/apprenticeship, but stupid, stupid me slept in and now there is no way I can make it in time. I've already had to delay the appointment once, I really don't want to do it again. I was going to book a taxi but I don't have enough money. I just feel like I'm spiraling and my urges to hurt myself are increasing... I just don't know what to do. I feel if I do hurt myself I deserve it.

How are you doing today?  What happened with this?  Did you get another appt for the interview?

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18 hours ago, amianthus said:

Hey foxy_jesus, I'm sorry to hear this happened. Interviews are so stressful even for those without MI. I've made similar mistakes with missing things in the past and can relate to how you feel. I hope you can stay safe and not hurt yourself; as jt07 said, you don't deserve hurting yourself. Please try to be gentle to yourself if you can. I hope that you can reschedule the appointment again, although it is understandable also if you let this one go. Was this company one you were really passionate about working with, or just a possible option you were prepared to try? Whichever way, more opportunities will come in time, especially if it is the latter. 

It was the latter, but I still felt like a failure due to what happened. Though an interview I went to previously during the week seems to have gone well, and I hope I can get that position instead.

5 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

How are you doing today?  What happened with this?  Did you get another appt for the interview?

I'm doing better today, it probably didn't help that I forgot to take my meds for a couple days on the bounce... I was able to mostly calm myself down though. I didn't end up rescheduling the interview, I was too ashamed to call them.

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