Remnants Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 I don't know if this is the right place given idk what this issue stems from in my diagnoses but I guess it's bpd coz it's always bpd. I'm feel very trapped tonight. & just in general lately. I've been in therapy for about 7 years & I'm only 24. I've done every last thing asked of me. I've put in 100% almost all the time whether that was not to kill myself or actually work on stuff. I've tried so many different therapies & even tried to do it by myself for a while since finding help. I've tried meds, I've tried no meds. I've tried residential treatment. I've tried positive coping strategies & negative ones. I've tried my best to keep some resemblance of a 'normal' life, I'm at uni, I work occasionally. I try. But nothing is good enough. Nothing lessens this pain. Nothing keeps the bad away. Everything is just a bandaid. It doesn't change anything. There's a flaw in my personality, my being & there's nothing that will get it out. I thought things were getting better, finally & now. Nope. I feel like I've fallen so far back. I don't know what to do. Maybe life isn't for everyone. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnickNak Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 I am reading along and it's like you are saying what I think everyday.. I wish I had the answers, I do what my Dr's tell me do etc, yet.. I am waiting for some kind of magic to happen. I pretend to live through life like a normal person.. I don't even know what normal is anymore.. I feel soo far from it and like I will always be some kind of outkast. When times are good and I feel good.. it's only short lived and I know the doom is coming. I hate it. I guess we just have to keep , keeping on . It's all we can do, right? we just have to learn that there is no easy fixes to this BPD . Shit, I am sorry if i sound negative.. I just feel like how you feel. There has to be some kind of light at the end of the tunnel right? That's optimistic 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloudmonger Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 On 2/4/2017 at 2:47 PM, Remnants said: I don't know if this is the right place given idk what this issue stems from in my diagnoses but I guess it's bpd coz it's always bpd. I'm feel very trapped tonight. & just in general lately. I've been in therapy for about 7 years & I'm only 24. I've done every last thing asked of me. I've put in 100% almost all the time whether that was not to kill myself or actually work on stuff. I've tried so many different therapies & even tried to do it by myself for a while since finding help. I've tried meds, I've tried no meds. I've tried residential treatment. I've tried positive coping strategies & negative ones. I've tried my best to keep some resemblance of a 'normal' life, I'm at uni, I work occasionally. I try. But nothing is good enough. Nothing lessens this pain. Nothing keeps the bad away. Everything is just a bandaid. It doesn't change anything. There's a flaw in my personality, my being & there's nothing that will get it out. I thought things were getting better, finally & now. Nope. I feel like I've fallen so far back. I don't know what to do. Maybe life isn't for everyone. I'm not diagnosed with BPD, but I completely relate to what you are saying here. I have been doing all of the above "right things" for 20 YEARS. I often feel like you do, like life isn't for everyone. Don't know what else to say/suggest....although, (like I commend everyone here dealing with MI) I commend you on your courage. I encourage you to pause frequently, acknowledge this courage & keep walking "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says; "I'll try again tomorrow". " 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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