BPD, soo.. this isn't "normal"

[imperfectpersona]

A friend just showed me this site. 

You guys, I really didn't know. Like, I knew, but.. no. Everyone feels negative and depressed and anxious, and I am just being dramatic, and emotional, but emotionally absent when it counts. My thought process is sporadic. 

I have been in therapy for 8 years. Never once did I consider that NOBODY else thought the standard "Do you have access to weapons?" questions were hilarious. I answered "no" because I assumed they meant guns, or something. 

Um, hi, if I wanted a weapon, this pen will do, butterknife, literally any room. I would find something if it came down to it. I never mentioned it because I thought it was the rare piece of common sense I actually had. 

I knew I had depression, I knew I had built an entirely false persona, but it never clicked that that wasn't just what people do. 

I went to the hospital for PTSD, and Major Depressive Disorder. And BPD seemed like a weird sidenote when I read it on my paperwork. 

But I didn't know what it meant, the definitions are fine, but this forum really helped me feel like, idk, I'm not alone. 

 

[WinterRosie]

Hello, and welcome to CB!

It's such a strange feeling to discover that you're not alone, eh? Or at least, it was for me.

Anyway, if you need anything, or have any questions, please feel free to PM the staff member of your choice. Looking forward to seeing your posts around. You're certainly not alone.

[Remnants]

Yeah, bpd is so complex & intense, with any mi it's isolating too. I'm glad your friend could guide you here. We're here for you in whatever way we can be. You're not alone it this.