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I was reading Worst Dates and I was struck by the number of people who said that they had only been on one date. So that got me to thinking....

How many dates have you had in your life? How many boyfriends or girlfriends (or both)? How many marriages?

Are you ready for my numbers? Make sure you are sitting down for this.

I've been on a 1st date with over 200 men. Way over. I lost track a long time ago and I was over 200 then.

I have had 15 boyfriends in my life, each lasting at least 2 months and some as long as 3 years.

I'm 40 years old, have been dating since I was 14, and I've never been married. I'd like to find a great guy and get married. I need off this merry-go-round.

I'm bipolar. I think that has a lot to do with it.

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Heya,

1st date at 19, by accident, he said he and others were watching Monty Python.  Liar.

2nd date at 20, ew, nuf said.

3rd date ledto 1st (with any luck, only) marriage, knock wood.

--ncc--

(WTF is knock wood???  I keep saying it, and punching myself in the head when I do, haha, my head is wood.  WTF is knock wood???)

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First date at 18

Married him 2 months later

Been married for 5 years

Only marriage for both of us

(Knocking on wood is a historically time-proven (i.e. superstitious) method of averting any potential disaster that can be invoked by its mere mention. Why wood, and why knocking on it, I have no idea.)

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First date at 18

Married him 2 months later

Been married for 5 years

Only marriage for both of us

WOW, Faith!  That rocks!  How did you know so quickly that he was The One?
  • For me.. gosh.. first date age 15.
  • Boyfriends...(5 total) ranging from a few months to a few years duration
  • Girlfriends...(6 total) ranging from a few months to 8 years.

Age 50 and still waiting for Ms. Right.  I seriously doubt it'll be a Mr.

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1st date when I was 14.

Had a few boyfriends who lasted a few months each.

Met dh at age 16 & have been together for 16 years (half my life.)

I am just glad I met dh when I did as I am not the easiest person to love.

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Do one night stands count as dates? If so, combined total +/- 150 (all before 21!) I'm 45 now. Worst STD then was Herpes, which I escaped, btw.  ;)

2 marriages ended in divorce

1 marriage ended in death (his) duh...

Outside of the marriages, +/- 5 long-term relationships, 1+ years. Last of which was 2+ years, over almost a year ago, but I'm still in it--alone. Sigh.

Not one for relationship advice unless it's of the what not to do variety. I tend to follow my soul and leave all reason behind when it comes to affairs of the heart.

I do believe all of them were valuable, even the one with satan himself.

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First date at 17, stayed together for about 2 years, on and off

Brief fling at 19 - transition man

At 22, was with a guy for about a year

Stayed single for 3-4 years - maybe 10 dates total with three guys.

Met "the one" at 27. We've now been together for 9 years.

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Guest FrannyNZooey

Do one night stands count as dates? If so, combined total +/- 150 (all before 21!) I'm 45 now. Worst STD then was Herpes, which I escaped, btw.  :)

2 marriages ended in divorce

1 marriage ended in death (his) duh...

Outside of the marriages, +/- 5 long-term relationships, 1+ years. Last of which was 2+ years, over almost a year ago, but I'm still in it--alone. Sigh.

Not one for relationship advice unless it's of the what not to do variety. I tend to follow my soul and leave all reason behind when it comes to affairs of the heart.

I do believe all of them were valuable, even the one with satan himself.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Suze my dating was all done way young too, and herpes so right was the big dreaded fear which too I escaped.

Must have been our so free and young spirit (trying to put it in nice terms for me anyway) that just kept us speed dating, loving, and safe!

But that was then.

Now I would wear a whole body condom ;)

Aly

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I don't know what to count as a "date."

I've had 2 defined "relationships" of a year and a year and a half, respectively.  I was engaged to both of them.  HAHAHAHA.  I wish I were kidding, but I'm not.  Maybe 3 other "somethings" with people that were never defined.  2/3 friends w/ benefits type situations. 

My "dating" history doesn't really categorize well.

*edit- I'm 21, for whatever that's worth.

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I don't know what to count as a "date."

I've had 2 defined "relationships" of a year and a year and a half, respectively.  I was engaged to both of them.  HAHAHAHA.  I wish I were kidding, but I'm not.  Maybe 3 other "somethings" with people that were never defined.  2/3 friends w/ benefits type situations. 

My "dating" history doesn't really categorize well.

*edit- I'm 21, for whatever that's worth.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells when I reply to you younger folks, because I never want to sound like I know anything because obviously if you've read anything I've written I don't.

But 21, unless there is a meteor with BECCA stamped on it, headed your way you have so much life ahead. I don't feel old and dried up by any means. In fact, quite the contrary, I feel like woo hoo, I have the second 1/2 of my life stretching out in front of me and oh what plans do I have!

The problem is, you reach a certain age and you become invisible to everyone but especially men, at my age, as referenced above I have baggage, even if I do tend to look at it as something I carry around in a beautiful tapestry bag, a la Mary Poppins. Most men my age group are more fucked up then the women, so the odds of mating are dramatically reduced.

In otherwords, you've only just begun <Karen Carpenter voiceover> to live...white lace and promises, a kiss for luck and we're on our way. Okay, I have to go barf now. Oops, bad analogy, but the Carpenters never were my particular carpet bag.

Try to resist cynicism would be my best advice, advice that I of course don't heed  myself, but freely dispense.

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I totally agree!

I'm not at all "sensitive" about my age.  Most of my friends are older than I am, so I'm used to being the young one. 

But damn you for putting Karen Carpenter in my head!

*shakes fist*

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I totally agree!

I'm not at all "sensitive" about my age.  Most of my friends are older than I am, so I'm used to being the young one. 

But damn you for putting Karen Carpenter in my head!

*shakes fist*

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

"doncha remember ya told me ya loved me baby?" LOL...
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oh my gosh...

ive been in about 12 relationships.  most of them were piddly stupid mistakes...throw a few one night stands in there...etc.

only 2 of them were somewhat serious; the first i lived with for over a year and he nearly beat the shit out of me. i left 2 days later...and i still to this day have no idea what happened.

the second didnt last that long but i probably would have took off somewhere with him, married him even, being as young as i was (22). we had a lot of stupid fights ...i took off once after a fight and 3 weeks later he called in tears to tell me he knocked his ex up.  she had the baby and well...thats where things stand now.  we're still best friends but its real difficult talking to him. i miss him a lot sometimes... i still have a hard time letting go. hes also MI - so he understands a lot...anyway.

im now in a great relationship with a wonderful man - its been almost 2 years.  ups and downs yes - but still solid. VERY understanding, very loving, by far one of the best people ive EVER met in my entire life.

...so there.

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I'm 21, I have dated 17 men and a 1 girl, had 11 sexual partners (all committed relationships except for one terrible one night stand which could have been more but I felt so guilty I quit it) and have been engaged once and lived with two different guys. I am much like Saturnine in that all my powers of logic go out of the window, I agree to dinner and somehow I get to be a girlfriend/fiance in no time, thank God no one has ever persuaded me down that long aisle! My worst thing is that I took someone to a foreign country on a fifth date. The shame! We had an absolute ball though, I don't regret it really!

However I have just managed a year of sexual celibacy and am six months into a year of no dating, so maybe I am reformed, who knows? Lol! I am struggling now as I have met someone new and magical and perfect... why do birds suddenly appear..everytime, he is neeeaar! If you catch me being lovey dovey, slap me about a bit, I need good sense talking into me.

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hrm.  *counts on fingers*

i'm a serial monogamist.  for a while each relationshp lasted exactly twice as long as the one before, but that really could only go on for so long.

ok, so not counting people i've kissed, etc. while a silly goth girl at rocky or people i've made out with in bars and at parties during my self-destructive phase...

first bf at 16. 5 boyfriends in total.  7 sexual partners (almost 9, but thankfully i had a modicum os self restraint with those two),  6 months spent "single" (so embarassing.)  engaged twice, cheated on once, cheated once (had to see what it was all about) and married once. 

met my husband in 2001 (i was dating his friend, i'm awful... but i didn't cheat)  we became fast best friends, and got married in september of 2004.  i was 25, which is apparently the average age of (first) marriage in the US.  (i'm hoping for first and last)

i've been told my dating pattern screams "daddy issues" due to my lack of single time.

oh well.

happily married, too late to go be singe now.

penny

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Wow.  I'm amazed that some of ya'll can remember exact numbers.  I was too busy thinking I was keeping my symptoms under "control" with alcohol for most of my life to remember how many, or who.  Sad but true.  I married my high school boyfriend at 18 to get out of my parent's house.  It ended badly at 25.  I felt trapped and was manic as hell.  Gotta go, gotta get out.

3 years later (and multiple someones), I managed to find someone nice and settled down for 12 years.  Had a baby.  Got sober at the end, and went batshit without the booze to mellow things out.  He divorced me and kept my daughter.

Enter boyfriend nutty as me.

Got the BP under control, but he dumped me during one of my many hospitalizations.

Met current husband, who rocks.  Life is damn good, dated a year, lived together a year, and will celebrate 1 year anniversary Valentine's weekend.

Daughter won't speak to me, but all endings aren't 100% happy.  You take it one day at time, and keep the outcome in God's hands, you know?

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OK, can't remember how many prior to marriage at 20. Maybe 20 or so. Was married for 33.5 years to same gal. Divorced in 2003.

Since then,

Gee, I've probably communicated with around 100 or so gals, met maybe 35 or so for that first date. About 20 made it to the second round. And only 2 made it to the finals.

So with age, I have found dating to be challenging as time is less available. And at 56 the 'field' certainly is populated, but with alot of gals with problems greater then my BP!  But then with over 40 years of experience with the opposite sex, of course we are going to have baggage.

I don't think that you'd care to know how many of the above I was intimate with-- remember I am BPIIRC.... ;)

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Married 3x, divorced 2x.

I was the cheater in each relationship. Looking back, I didn't want to be the one hurt, so inflicted the pain on my SO. Also the hypersexual thing.

7 LTR's, a handful of misc STR's.

9 years with my third husband, which has shattered all records for me. It's no coincidence that the last 9 years I have been determined to deal with my illness instead of denying it.

I do regret a lot of what I did, but honestly, it was a lot of fun (at the time).

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I was reading Worst Dates and I was struck by the number of people who said that they had only been on one date. So that got me to thinking....

How many dates have you had in your life? How many boyfriends or girlfriends (or both)? How many marriages?

Are you ready for my numbers? Make sure you are sitting down for this.

I've been on a 1st date with over 200 men. Way over. I lost track a long time ago and I was over 200 then.

I have had 15 boyfriends in my life, each lasting at least 2 months and some as long as 3 years.

I'm 40 years old, have been dating since I was 14, and I've never been married. I'd like to find a great guy and get married. I need off this merry-go-round.

I'm bipolar. I think that has a lot to do with it.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Current age: 33

I guess it depends on what you'd call a "date" or a "relationship".

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age: 20

dates: 0

boyfriends/girlfriends: 0

any other type of "relations": 0

i have issues in that department.. I'm one of those people who want so much to be in love/have a significant other.. but I don't think I could ever trust anyone that much.  Then there's the fact that I'm insane and my looks aren't helping any either.

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First date/first kiss at 16, dated him for a few months.

2nd date/first love/first...you know...at 18, broke up after 18 months.

Had a few flings since then, nothing serious.

Now 24, in love with an issues-ridden guy who lives 2600 miles away and isn't "ready for a relationship right now"

Expect to be single for the remainder of my existance.

;)

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Can't believe I'm posting this.

1 'date' that I got freaked out on and left.

2 lt relationships (both ~ 2 years long)

1 short term relationship that lasted about 4 months

0 relations of any kind with any of them (Long story. =-P)

Age: 26.

Edited to add:

And none of any of them in the future either. That's where my record stands.

It's all too damn much trouble.  ;)

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One on/off 'thing' with a guy in my year at school, started a little short of two years ago- basically involves us both getting drunk and performing random sex deeds together. We both see other people

A couple of one night stands with guys I already knew

A couple of dates with a guy I met in a bar, unfortunately I had to consider my actions when sober/not manic, so that never went any further

Normally I am the most asexual, don't you damn well come anywhere near me, I cannot stand to be touched and I don't like to be close to anyone type person. I guess the totally random sex acts are evidence of past manic leanings

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Dates- What is a date? With established partners I don't consider it a "date". I'd say I've been in the "dating" status with about 15 people.

Partners?- I don't count. I tried today in my tdoc's office to think of them and I have no idea. Due to the mania of course. But I remember having a total of roughly 10 actual boyfriends.

Engagements?- I've been engaged 3 times with rings involved, including my ex husband.

Marriage(s)- ONE so far. I am divorced.

I'm 27 and live with my 2 cats in Ohio

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I have a FRIEND, NOT ME, my totals are WAY LOWER

this FRIEND- NOT ME- admitted to over 400 sex parters. He is NOT manic, just from a country where they are more liberal. More liberal, I guess!!! I thought around 25-30 was high (counting mania ones)!

he had over 400. i can't imagine. wouldn't it get sore?  ;)

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Dating seems to be a huge thing in US. Not here. If you like someone you start hanging out with them as friends and then MAYBE you go on dates as a couple.

I've been on like... maybe four first dates? Not counting the ones with my boyfriends. I've never been a dating person. I prefer just hanging out.

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Same in the UK, sex is expected on a date so you can't date more than one person, or date a lot, the assumption is that you sleep around. Serial monogamy is what people do, we're back in the stone age!

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I just pull out the rain gear and tell my partners that my sex life is personal, and if it gets deeper with them then we can look at monogamy. In the meantime, I sleep with whoever I want. In the US there is a bit of a stigma too, especially concerning women who actually take charge of their sex lives. I'm determined not to live in some caveman world and I actually have sex with more than one person when it suits my fancy. (But it hasn't lately so there).

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hmm.  I started dating at 14.  I've had 8 boyfriends.  When I was in high school, I had this "2 week" rule where I would just break up with some poor guy after 2 weeks.  Luckily, some determined guy kicked my rule out the window, so I could end that ridiculousness.

1 engagement with 2 rings (long story).

Been proposed to, um, 3 times.  Why anyone in their right mind would want to marry me is beyond my cognition.

I had a tendency to skip the dates and jump straight into bed.  (By conscious choice)  I've been compared to a man with the way I just wanted sex and got annoyed when they wanted to go on a date and *blank stare* talk. ;)

Ah, yes, mania/booze/drugs/nonmedicated. :)   It's alot.

I decided that I don't want to be that person anymore.  The thrill is just not there anymore in my old age.  (25)  I actually like going on dates now.  Now that the window of opportunity has passed and very few people ask.  Ones who aren't creepy anyways.  Dammit.

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Damn as I read some of these posts I just really wonder if some of us BP's shouldn't meet :)   I mean several of us have had lots of partners probably who where not BP. Not many can keep up with my sexual appetite even when I am not hypermania.

Where are all the gals from Missouri?????

;)

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I, like some other folks here, never "got" the date thing.

When I was young I was immensely unpopular.  No one would touch me with a ten foot pole in the "traditional" dating sense.  But they would for sex.  Sometimes.  And then they'd dump me.  Go self esteem! ...that already was virtually non-existent.

Then when the mania/MI sprinklings started to occur it was like, dating, who has time for that?!?! Maybe with anything that qualified as some form of a relationship there might have been one date involved but sometimes not.  In most cases it was straight to bed.

I once made a list (or tried to) of all the people I had been intimate with in one way or another that I could remember (I'm sure I missed a few...)  Wow.  Let's hear it for low self esteem as a kid coupled with BP later in life... 

I kind of felt like a big slut but I guess it's all relative.  I try to maintain a sense of humour about it.  Eek.

Karen

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I've only had one boyfriend ever. We're getting married in June, after eight years of dating. This includes five years of long-distance (college), and we were anywhere from one and a half hours apart to six and a half hours apart. I'm 22 (23 in May), he's 23. I think that since we've been together since the freaking dawn of time, we've got a shot at a happy marriage.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Wow! Got my first date at 26. Had 3 girlfriends (including my wife). Nearly killed myself on account of failing to find a mate for so many years, but happy with the one I've got now (married 5 years)

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  • 4 months later...

Ran across this thread while poking around looking at someone's posts before answering another one.

Anyway, I am 47. I don't really count dates inside a relationship as dates, or I'd be up in the hundreds. Maybe 2 or 3 dozen "first dates", mostly from the personals. (Yes, some of them were before internet dating sites.) A few second, third or fourth dates, but by that point sex was generally involved.

Had my first steady girlfriend at age 34. Lasted 10 years. Am now a year into my second steady relationship. Probably the one person most like me (other than opposite sex, etc.) that I've ever dated.

Sort of fell in love with a guy once but couldn't really handle it. I guess I'm mostly hetero, but he was a wonderful person. Tried fooling around and freaked myself out.

Had a couple of hetero, well, maybe should call them disasters, which lasted maybe three weeks. And another one that wasn't a disaster, when I was in my early 20's. Technically lost my virginity. Parted more or less amicably. I was really too screwy to keep that one going, and we were VERY different.

Another one wasn't exactly a disaster, and if I'd played things a bit differently, maybe we'd have been an item for a while. She was way passive, and after a while I took this as a lack of interest, tho probably if I'd felt more comfortable talking about things.... I don't really understand what the attraction was, but it was strong.

Had a long term unrequited thing, tho she considered me a pretty close friend. We are still friends. I tormented myself for about 4 years that way.

Dated a woman who had dxed MI issues (when I didn't), on and off for a few months, plus hung out, etc. Fooled around once. Sorry to say that I kinda freaked out due to her weight, tho I didn't want to and was kind of ashamed. Too bad, she was very fun, at least as a friend.

If you want to count, I think that makes 9 gropees (mutual, or at least with permission, of course, I'm not THAT kind of guy, and depending to some extend on your definition of grope), 7 of them with some item of clothing off, 6 with opportunity to exchange flora and fauna (I'm not talking about mono)

Anyway, dates were few and far between until I was maybe 30. Really didn't have much confidence until then.

No marriages. When first long term relationship broke up I think we were both glad we weren't married.

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