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I'm just done trying to beat a system that wants me to sit down and shut up. Every time I think I'm making progress, it gets screwed up. I just can't deal with it anymore, I can't mentally deal with it. I want to win this battle, I seriously do, but I'm tired. No one wants to help that I need. No one cares, and I'm too poor to pay someone to care. I'm bipolar so my credibility is trash. It sucks. I feel so defeated, so pathetic that despite coming this far, I'm just done. My head needs to rest.  I'm feeling so sorry for myself. I'm such a zombie right now and I don't care about anything. I hate this, I don't know why I even bothered. Part of me wants to push forward but it will likely not be an easy win, if at all. I'm poor so I can't afford much, my parents want to help but I feel bad taking money from them, I know they support me and want to see me win but I need more.  I have pride and guilt like I don't deserve help.

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I'm sorry you are feeling so bad.

Are you seeing a psychiatrist, or a therapist?......If you aren't, there are resources for low income people to receive help, such as local community mental health centers or free clinics............Have you looked into any of those options in your area?

You do need and deserve help, and there are people who care.........Please don't keep  telling yourself you are too proud or guilty to accept help.

Edited by CrazyRedhead
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I'm really sorry you're having such a hard time and not getting the help you need. It sounds really awful & in some ways I get it too. Please don't feel bad taking your parents money to get help, they care about you and want to see you doing better. I'd look at it like you could take their money, get help, have symptoms improve & maybe one day be able to pay them back or you can continue down the path you're on, struggle your whole life and never be able to show them you doing better or anything else. You deserve to feel better. Whatever you have now, if you have anything isn't working. You can't do this forever.

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