Jump to content

Am I actually Bipolar?

Recommended Posts

I was diagnosed with Bipolar many years ago, and some people may still remember me here I hope! You are my family but i have been away for a while!!! I dont know if i was ADHD, depressed and had a severe eating disorder? I don't know if i was just not coping with situations i was put into including rape and no family support? I haven't been seeing my Pdoc for a while but havent needed to see him? Im down to only 75mg seroquel for sleep at night due to my insomnia and provigal due to my ADHD and thats it? I feel very balance and my work is going very well and super balanced running my own private practise?

I did start recently with a sports psychologist for my show jumping and he uses hypnotherapy and light therapy? Very weird!!! But brought a lot to the front which through me for a look and brought alot of issues up!!! Ended up hurting myself with a hammer to try cope with everything he brought up! But its now settled down?

Off most my meds for a long time and seem quite ok? Guess i should see my Pdoc! I know its dangerous but feel kind of "normal"? Dont know if it was more my eating disorder rather then anything else with ADHD? A part of me doubts i am bipolar? 

Just want to move forward with my life but dont want to make silly choices??

Love Ashdene

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi! It's so great to see you again - I've often thought of you and wondered how you are. 

You sound good, but I'm not quite sure what to say about the psychologist - other than that what he's doing doesn't sound safe if the stuff that's being brought up is so uncontained that you're compelled to hurt yourself. 

When last did you see your pdoc? Who is managing your meds? Your GP? 

Edited by MiaB
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Umm, unless he's doing some kind of radical, intrusive, experiential therapy, I wouldnt hang this on the psychologist himself. Maybe you're reacting to the stimulating content he's brought up, but under no circumstances whatsoever is a hammer on yourself EVER a part of an appropriate response to feeling or not feeling. I'm responding as a person with a long history of self-harm. I'm sorry you got to the place where you felt you needed that outlet, really. I'm a bit tearful, actually. And I'm glad you're feeling better since, but if hurting yourself was ever a consistent part of your coping tools, you've got to immediately reject it as acceptable or useful, and yes, please discuss it with your doctor. Even if it never was a chronic problem for you, I think you'd agree that there's a line in the sand before going into self-injury. If you crossed it, maybe you're not holding together as much as you think.

Which doesn't mean you cant. You may learn some self-assessment or self-management tool TOMORROW that is the be-all, end-all for you, so don't get gloomy. But honestly, hurting yourself is not okay, dear.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm not a psychiatrist, but a quick look at your meds raises some questions for me. You're taking seroquel to sleep, but provigil is also used to treat people who aren't awake enough. Those two meds could be interacting in ways that make you crazy. [ETA: The provigil can lower the levels of seroquel in your system]

I'm also not sure if provigil might trigger mania -- but I think it's likely. Light therapy might also trigger mania. 

If you are looking for more diagnoses to add to the menagerie, I suggest you research borderline personality disorder. Trauma history combined with self harm are big red flags for borderline. There's also a lot of crossover between bipolar and borderline, so you might have both, or the BPD can be mimicking bipolar and so fooled your diagnosing p-doc. Borderline is treatable with a therapy called DBT. 

Best of luck.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Create New...