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My therapy seems off


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I had my third therapy meeting yesterday and something seems off. The first session was good.  Seemed to answer a lot of questions but I expected that.  She told me the next session would be about when I was young since I have no memory earlier then 7 when my dad died.  Since then, the sessions are pointless.  Between 1&2 I saw a Pdoc and received my diagnosis.  Not sure if that is tied in but she told me I had to do this to get on the right meds.  Like last session was all about ice melt and how it works.  I have been on a high lately and yesterday was the highest.  She seemed disinterested.  I didn't ask a lot of questions so we just kinda stared at each other.  We talk about random stuff.  Nothing about BP2, anxiety, ADD, eating disorder or anything from my laundry basket of crazy.  Is this how therapy is, isn't she supposed to help?

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Generally you and your tdoc will come up with a treatment plan together. Usually within the first couple of sessions. You'll discuss goals and what you would like to get out of therapy. Did they do any of this with you?

My therapist generally asks some vague lead in questions... or about specific events or things we've been working on together. You should be able to talk about your illnesses or whatever you need to. That's generally a big part of what is discussed. 

During the silences does your tdoc attempt to engage you at all? In my experience they generally will. If they are not trying to you might want to ask why. Tell them what you would like to talk about and work on and ask if you can create a plan together. Most have pre-printed sheets you fill out.

Sorry it's not seeming to go well. If you don't feel comfortable speaking up or just really don't feel like they're a good fit ask to see someone else if possible.

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8 hours ago, BatsBelfry said:

I had my third therapy meeting yesterday and something seems off. The first session was good.  Seemed to answer a lot of questions but I expected that.  She told me the next session would be about when I was young since I have no memory earlier then 7 when my dad died.  Since then, the sessions are pointless.  Between 1&2 I saw a Pdoc and received my diagnosis.  Not sure if that is tied in but she told me I had to do this to get on the right meds.  Like last session was all about ice melt and how it works.  I have been on a high lately and yesterday was the highest.  She seemed disinterested.  I didn't ask a lot of questions so we just kinda stared at each other.  We talk about random stuff.  Nothing about BP2, anxiety, ADD, eating disorder or anything from my laundry basket of crazy.  Is this how therapy is, isn't she supposed to help?

Have you talked to your pdoc about this (what you wrote) specifically?  You both might not be on the same page, but she might not realize it.  Personally I would ask her about everything you talk about here in your post.  Maybe write down the questions you want to ask her so nothing gets missed.  She may think she is helping, when she really isn't.

Also, you're paying her, so if therapy isn't going well, it would be a big waste of money and time to continue to get nothing (?) out of therapy ... when you could start with another tdoc or whatever.  Plus, seeing that you just started seeing this tdoc, it would be easier IMO to start with another one (if you choose to do that), before you go deeper into your past and not feel comfortable doing so.

But definitely bring a list of questions if you do this ... for me it helps me to not go off on a tangent when I am asking things.

 

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If you like reading things (and have the concentration for it--I know I don't always), you could check out:

http://www.goodtherapy.org/what-is-good-therapy.html

and/or

http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/50-signs-good-therapy-0110119/

You may not find them useful because they are a little long, but I wanted to throw it out there in case.  I can speak from personal experience that the good fit aspect matters a ton.  I've got a wonderful therapist right now--I'm not sure I would have been ready for her five years ago. 

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I would try to get on the same page about your goals for therapy. If you find her goals don't match up, maybe it's not the best fit. I had a therapist determined to push me into her agenda, no matter what I wanted or felt I needed. She got angry with me and called me resistant and defiant. Obviously no good came of that and I had to move on. That's the short version but point is, not all therapists are good or on point, or even just experenced in your type issues. It can turn into a negative experience or a money drain if that's the case. It could be you can work it out but if not, there might be someone better for you. I regret the bad therapy I had, it actually harmed me, I assumed they were right, I was wrong. Good therapists are out there, I've seen them, too. I do think it's good to see one experienced with your diagnosis. Good luck finding the right one, if this one doesn't work out. 

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Since (correct me if I'm wrong) this is your first time in therapy, it can seem a little weird at first, and can be difficult to figure out what you should be talking about.That being said,your therapist should be working with you to determine goals, and help you identify what you need to work on. If you know what you want to discuss - either in general or on a specific day - they should pretty much let you talk about that. And if something doesn't feel right with this therapist, try someone new. It can be okay to take a little bit of time before you spend much time on the big stuff if you need some time to develop rapport with your therapist.When I first started therapy, I had a difficult time naming my feelings and identifying what I needed to talk about, and it can take a bit for a therapist to get a context for you and your life that will enable them to steer the conversation during those silences. But, in that case they generally at least ask substantive questions about my life - what do you do for work, what do you do to relax, what are your hobbies, are you in a relationship, what's your family life like. That way at least they are getting to know you as a person, which can help later on, or it might bring up a starting point for conversation. 

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