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what is it that's diifficult? is it a question of not wanting to conform or something else? Maybe you want to be with the others but something is preventing you?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

;)

1. Well its conforming and having to compromise my personality in a group

2. I feel ashamed because I am a recluse outside of work and I have nothing 

    to share

3. I feel inferior :embarassed:

4. The last postion I had in another department me and this person became friends and he ended up backstabbing me

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sounds like your personality feels squashed by being in a group....why is being yourself so dangerous?

I also am a recluse out of work. (can't talk about therapy and support websites and mental health at work, sadly...) But I do find I share some things - like a love of cats, for example.

You may feel inferior (I used to too, still do at times...) but that doesn't mean you ARE inferior.

The thing is, the situation is making you feel depressed..and anxious too, I'm guessing?

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I mean I feel so negative what could I possibly have to talk about, I dont wanna bring these people down.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

A lot of people love talking about themselves, their kids, their pets, their weekend, etc.  Maybe try asking a question and then just sitting back and listening politely?  Usually this works because it makes the other person feel good about themselves which will make them more friendly toward you (Ooh, Secrets is asking about my favorite *fill in the blank*!).  And means that you don't have to do all the talking. 

Yeah, meaningless small talk can suck but if they're worth continuing to talk to grinning thru those first awkward "how's the weather" conversations can be totally worth it.

g'luck    ;)

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I'm sorry, I guess I misunderstood parts of your earlier posts and didn't realize which parts of the office interaction were the most triggery for you.  My mistake. 

Secrets, I smooze and bullshit with the best of them to keep my job. I am a recluse and nutcase but no one at my job knows it. I guess my advice would be 'fake it'..if your job entails you being sociable. If it doesn't...be true to yourself. I have to "network"
She's Weird has a good point here. Also, I find it much easier to and socialize on my own terms if its with only one person at a time, is it possible to do that at least sometimes where you are? 
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<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

;) I get envious and angry when people talk about their weekend or their kids. I guess what I'm saying is I want to put myself first and focus on making my life better but in the same vein I have no one to relate to with my recluse life :)

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You know what? This is a totally different direction than what you've heard so far...

Your lunch habit could be GOOD for your career!!! I read The book by the last woman standing on The Apprentice, and she said that you should always stand out as a professional, and do not get grouped together with "the girls" or some other clique, because then you are thought of as a blob and not as promotion material. Hey, if it worked for her it could work for anyone I suppose.

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You know what? This is a totally different direction than what you've heard so far...

Your lunch habit could be GOOD for your career!!! I read The book by the last woman standing on The Apprentice, and she said that you should always stand out as a professional, and do not get grouped together with "the girls" or some other clique, because then you are thought of as a blob and not as promotion material. Hey, if it worked for her it could work for anyone I suppose.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree with Loon-A-Tik. I don't socialize at work and haven't since I was in my twenties (I'm 45). I don't have the time or energy to interact with people I don't absolutely need to in order to get my work done. My colleagues are fine with that. Everyone knows I don't "do lunch." I usually go home for lunch or eat at my desk. In the past, I've tried to have "friends" at work, but it's always backfired on me. In fact, having "friends" period has never worked for me. I guess I'm crazy.

diane

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You know what? This is a totally different direction than what you've heard so far...

Your lunch habit could be GOOD for your career!!! I read The book by the last woman standing on The Apprentice, and she said that you should always stand out as a professional, and do not get grouped together with "the girls" or some other clique, because then you are thought of as a blob and not as promotion material. Hey, if it worked for her it could work for anyone I suppose.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree with Loon-A-Tik. I don't socialize at work and haven't since I was in my twenties (I'm 45). I don't have the time or energy to interact with people I don't absolutely need to in order to get my work done. My colleagues are fine with that. Everyone knows I don't "do lunch." I usually go home for lunch or eat at my desk. In the past, I've tried to have "friends" at work, but it's always backfired on me. In fact, having "friends" period has never worked for me. I guess I'm crazy.

diane

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm the same way. Never wasted my time for friendship on lunch. I *was* too ambitious for that. Now I have no coworkers! lol

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You know what? This is a totally different direction than what you've heard so far...

Your lunch habit could be GOOD for your career!!! I read The book by the last woman standing on The Apprentice, and she said that you should always stand out as a professional, and do not get grouped together with "the girls" or some other clique, because then you are thought of as a blob and not as promotion material. Hey, if it worked for her it could work for anyone I suppose.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agree with Loon-A-Tik. I don't socialize at work and haven't since I was in my twenties (I'm 45). I don't have the time or energy to interact with people I don't absolutely need to in order to get my work done. My colleagues are fine with that. Everyone knows I don't "do lunch." I usually go home for lunch or eat at my desk. In the past, I've tried to have "friends" at work, but it's always backfired on me. In fact, having "friends" period has never worked for me. I guess I'm crazy.

diane

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

These ladies here chat consistently all day long it seems. They eat lunch together everyday and take breaks together every day, its very co-dependent to me...

Then the job had a banquet on saturday so they hung out on the weekend as well  ;)

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